Heavy Heart May 13, 2012

I had a “mother’s day” post planned out, but when I got home from my mom’s this evening I found this post at the top of my Facebook notifications. And, I have not stopped crying since.

 

I have never met Jen in real life, though we live within a two hour drive of each other. But, that does not stop my heart from breaking for her. I can not imagine the depth of the pain of losing a toddler. Especially under the circumstances under which she lost Ainsley. Especially after losing her twin. I can not fathom having to face the next day and get up and get dressed and make breakfast and put one foot in front of the other after suffering such devastation. I can not begin to understand how anyone can find the strength to explain to their 3 year old that their sister is never coming home.

 

Please keep Jen, Mark and Olivia in your hearts as they weather the loss of another precious member of their family.  This is so unfair. So. Unfair.

Tossing and Turning December 15, 2011

I’m sorry that you guys only hear the bad stuff from me. These days it seems time is slipping through my fingers and documenting the good times/feelings/what-not seems to be taking a back seat to, you know, living. But since it is in the dark AM hours, and I can’t sleep, and I’m too lazy to go get another bag of Chex Mix from the basement, and I can’t be bothered to adhere to the rules of decent sentence length, I figured this would be a good time to throw a quick state of the Minta address out there. Oh look, bullets!

 

• The Babe: Is 10 shades of awesome. I love that kid. This evening he told me “EAT!” and I said “What do you want to eat, buddy?” You know what he said? I’m not even kidding (although I don’t know if he was or not, probably not, though.) “Food!” Yeah, he talks like that. He gives real kisses. To everyone but me. Sometimes me, but Daddy and Ladybug are constantly getting the sugars. I am jealous, especially because at 15 months he has decided that the boob is dead. But those sugars! They make my heart soar. Have I mentioned that I love this kid?
• The Babe’s Health: Pretty good, but he has had an  official asthma diagnosis, which brought with it a daily inhaled steroid, which brought with it thrush of the every-damn-where. I assume it’s from the steroids, although mama has the thrush every-damn-where, too. Since the new inhaler has come on the scene, we’ve had no major URI’s, though! We had three in a month prior to the inhaler.
• My Health: Ugh! So, the RA = Bad. Left ankle still a hot ass mess and general feeling of assiness are keeping me down. The weight = bad, because I’m doing things like eating a bag of Chex Mix at 1am. Basically, I’m getting that falling apart/dying slowly feeling again. So, it’s time to get the fuck off my ass and fix it!!!!! I mentioned the head to toe thrush, right?
• The Family – Minta Edition: Land mine! Let’s see, my sister has proven once again that she is the center of the universe. My dad disagrees, because he is, in fact, the center of the universe. My Mamaw has been diagnosed with Alzheimers and my uncle’s wife is trying to shut her up and never let her leave the house. Lil C is having some crazy jealousy/regression issues.
• The Family – G Edition: He has been in light contact with Aunt C and has proposed a “truce” on Christmas ala WWII. I have proposed “Hell to the mother fucking no.” In all actuality, he is probably going to take Baby G over to Aunt C’s house on Christmas Eve and allow his mother to visit over there. I am not a fan of this idea, either, but am picking my battles. He says he’s going to call her and Aunt C to talk to them prior to Christmas. I’ve tried to help him organize his thoughts, but we’ll see if he uses any of my suggestions…
• My Jobs: Yes, jobs! Ya’ll know how I was waffling about obtaining gainful employment? Well, my Etsy shop kind of took off So, that’s pretty awesome. Speaking of (and I know this isn’t really the place to do this…) any mommy bloggers looking for free hats, who are willing to write a post showcasing said free hats, please let me know! Baby Hooked Boutique is looking for marketing partners. Other jobs? Still assisting my mother and nanny’ing H’s kiddo’s.

I think you get the gist of things. I think I shall head to bed and attempt to get some sleep. You know, today is my 28th birthday, and we 28 year old’s need our beauty sleep.

Miscarrriage: The Bullshit of all Bullshit December 12, 2011

Hey guys, please pop over and give Meg some love. She, T and their surrogate went for their 7 week scan today and discovered that despite the 4 great beta’s, the sac was empty. It’s so completely unfair. My heart is broken for them.

Maybe If You Just Relax May 14, 2011

I’m sure many of you know Jen. She is a rockstar, afterall. And fucking hilarious. And not afraid to do classy things like curse on her blog. I heart her. As I’ve mentioned before, she is why I started blogging. Over the years of reading her blog I have truly began to think of her as a friend.

Which is why I have been completely heartbroken for her since her twin girls were born on 12-29-2010. Itty Bitty Ainsley was born a fiesty fighter and has been in the NICU ever since. She has been through multiple surgeries and is now trached so she can grow and eventually breath on her own. She is beautiful and a drama queen. Hog Baby Evelyn was also beautiful, but she was born still. Lost just hours before the scheduled c-section. I cannot imagine the pain Jen must feel or the strength she must possess to keep on going after all of that. But, she does and I’m sure Miss Olivia plays no small part in her motivation.

Since Ainsley and Evelyn were born I have been wishing that there was something I could DO. Comments are great and all, but seriously, when faced with paying for multiple surgeries and spending HOURS in the car between work, home and NICU it seems like cash or food would be MUCH more appropriate. Which is why I am happy to let you know that some of her IRL friends have set up a fundraiser! Please go here and check out her friend Andrea’s post about The Event. In addition to participating in The Event, I also plan to add a new product to the Baby Hooked Boutique store that all proceeds will go to Jen.

Parenting Magazine: You Suck May 11, 2011

And this is the topic about which I am less pissed. Oh my!

Today Little C went to get my mail and hooray, it was magazine day. My Parenting Early Years came today. Usually this makes for good potty reading material with the occasional decent recipe. It has never made me furious, before. So, boy was I surprised when I flipped it open to the article entitled “Ditch the Diapers.”

Obviously, EC (elimination communication) isn’t mainstream, so I wasn’t expecting it to be part of the article. I figured it’d be all about how three year olds will sell their mom for M&Ms so their poop and pee seems like a fair price. Or, how you should wait until your kid is ready to be self reliant after years of just pissing whenever they want . Or, some other “method” of potty training that essentially amounts to let your preschooler tell you when they’re done pissing their pants. (Why, yes, I am all Judgey McJudgerson when it comes to children who can read and write but still wear diapers. Unless they have a physical impairment, otherwise, I will unabashedly judge the shit out of your lazy ass for not helping your child be independent sooner.) Anyhizzle… I wasn’t expecting EC to be part of this article. It’s not potty training, after all, it’s communication and infant hygiene.

Hmm hmm! I was wrong. It is prominently featured right under the title “Can You Really Potty Train a Baby?” Of course not, if your definition of “potty trained” is “toilet independent.” I am a full supporter of EC and I say OF COURSE NOT. It is completely unrealistic to expect an infant to be toilet independent. That thought alone should have prompted some research, no? Before smearing a perfectly acceptable infant hygiene practice, you should check your assumptions, right? No, it doesn’t look that way. It looks like Parenting Magazine allows content based on conjecture and opinions to be passed off as fact. But you know, it’s hard to take a piece seriously when the entire premise is faulty.

The article gives a basic overview of the mechanics of EC (watching for potty signs, using the pot and cueing), which are correct. But it assumes that the intent is to make your child toilet independent sooner than they otherwise would. Now, don’t get me wrong, that is a well documented possible outcome. BUT, it’s not the reason for doing it. Any literature on the subject stresses that this is not about training, it’s about communication.

The second faulty assumption, which is the one I’ve heard most prevalently, is that the parents are being trained. OK, I will admit, I am totally being trained by my baby. He gives me signs that he’s hungry and since he isn’t able to feed himself independently, I feed him. When he does wet or dirty his diaper he gives me signs that he needs cleaned up and I clean him up. I don’t understand how being trained to help the baby on the toilet is somehow worse than being trained to clean his butt after he potties in his diaper. Please enlighten me.

Now, all other “methods” discussed in this article had pro’s and con’s and firsthand experience stories. Did EC? Guess… You’re right!! Not even close just a statement that “experts” agree you can’t potty train an infant. “Experts” in a national magazine. No, not Dr. McPotty-Pants from We Know Potty’s Inc. or even Mommy Lazybird no, just “experts agree.” In a nationally syndicated magazine. I am so disappointed. They could have at least quoted an EC source or treated it with the same respect as the “bribe ‘em to poo” method. (Don’t get me wrong, I don’t doubt the effectiveness of getting preschoolers to do anything in exchange for M&Ms, Lil C would sell his whole family for a mega bag of those things…)

Whether you EC or not, whether you agree with EC or not you have to acknowledge that this treatment is not just a smear job on alternative parenting (alternative! this is how MOST of the children in the world are raised…) and really poor journalism.

No Really This is a New Post March 14, 2011

No I didn’t forget that I have a blog, why do you ask? I am the suck. Sorry. Actually, I’m not entirely the suck at blogging… just at blogging here. See, I started a much less anonymous blog for the fam that is heavily baby centric. As in, all baby and roses all the time. Well, except when it’s baby and poopy. But, let’s face it, poopy is pretty funny (once it’s cleaned up) and all about baby. Speaking of all about baby, he found his balls. I had no idea they started pawing themselves so young. As soon as the diaper comes off he starts manhandling his junk. Anyhoo, ifin’s you are interested in the day to day goings on of my little masturbater* check us out here.

 

Also, remember how I was all “Oh hey, I’m totally starting a business.” Yeah, well, I did! It’s working on becoming successful. It’s called Baby Hooked Boutique and right now I’m on Etsy and have a Facebook page and I totally fell for the Twitter trap. I am a shameless self promoting whore (i.e. blogger) so I must now ask that you rush to those pages as well. And like/bookmark them.

 

Right and we’ve been sick since February 13. So, you know I kind of have an excuse for being so lazy. I have been kicking around some other posts in my head and hope to get them out this week. Who knows, maybe I’m properly back.

 

* I KNOW he isn’t REALLY masturbating, it’s the same as having found his ears…

Happy Blogoversary to Me October 28, 2010

Two years ago I Googled the phrase “infertile whore” and found Jennepper. It changed my life, I found an outlet for all this infertility madness that no one wanted to hear about anymore. I found friends with a common interest (cursing, being mean and trying to get knocked up). Seriously, changed my life.

 

Thank you.

Survivor’s Guilt October 20, 2010

So, I don’t post much of late. I’ve explained other reasons before (i.e. amlazywhore), but there is another reason… I am so happy. I am bursting with happiness. I love the shit out of being a mommy. There is literally nothing I’d rather be doing more than taking care of my G’s and I can barely remember life before (even though there’s 30 years of before and only 40 days of after). This is the best.

 

Sure, I’ve had my less than best moments (which I’ve written about) and I do miss getting 3+ contiguous hours of sleep on the regular. But… I wouldn’t trade one minute with him for an hour of sleep. I wouldn’t trade a minute with him for all the disposable cash back. I wouldn’t trade my time with my baby for anything. I am so, so in love.

 

And that is the problem. Because so many of you are still struggling. So many of my friends (and I do consider you to be my friends) are still in the trenches. So many girls that I care about are longing for what I have. I feel like I’m rubbing it in your faces to talk about how absolutely wonderful it is to finally be here. I remember being there, having friends with babies and me mourning miscarriages and failed cycles and feeling like ass for hating them. I remember seething with envy over photo’s and cute anecdotes about smiling babies.

 

I can’t do that to you.

 

As much as I want to give you hope and tell you all about how awesome it is to finally hold that baby and be over that hill, I don’t want to rub it in. I don’t want to hurt you. So, I’m conflicted. So, I’m silent.

 

Tell me, what would you prefer?

- Posts clearly labeled “baby happiness mentioned here.”

- Infertility/loss posts here and baby posts somewhere else.

- Something else (keep everything here or please feel free to make a suggestion).

Charlie Brown Irritated Face October 3, 2010

That is the top search engine term bringing people to my blog this quarter! Other runners up?

• bedroom messy – mine too, but usually I try to keep that a secret…
• bad boobs – no boob is bad! I love boobs!
• soprano duck – was unaware that ducks had a vocal range
• horror movies about infertility – I can see it now: hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hee, hee,  hee, hee “It’s 13dpo do you know where you Aunt Flo is? The scariest movie about disappointment and high medical bills, ever made…” ahhhhhhh (that’s a scream)
• wanting a baby and jealous of other moth – What do moths have to do with this?
• my clothes are now to tight for me i am – fat. The word you’re seeking is FAT.
• my ovaries hurt when i poo – I actually remember typing that… Also, it goes away after the follies bust, you’ll be alright.
• booby juice – Baby’s G’s favorite.

In addition to that lot we have a new category of people who found me on purpose! Which is either good and means I have made n impression on people who forgot to add me to their blog reader… or I got RL people cyber stalking me again. I’m choosing to believe the former…

Housekeeping July 19, 2010

If you are reading this via Google Reader (or another RSS feed), you may have noticed some old posts have popped up on your reader recently. This was the result of adding tags to some old posts. I didn’t realize it would do that. Sorry.

I’m all done with the tagging, now, though, so no more should come up.