The Health, It Sucks May 25, 2012

So, part of my appt with Dr Rheumy was getting my routine blood work done. The MGUS levels are all staying pretty normal, thankfully. No one’s too worried about that right now (yay!).

 

But, as you are all well aware I’ve been in a depressed funk for a while and OMG THE PAIN. So, she ran some tests to look for other issues.

 

And found one. FUCK!

 

You know vitamin D is important shit, right? I knew it prevented rickets, but otherwise wasn’t too sure what it was doing. Turns out it’s a hormone, and is involved in all kinds of body functions. If your vitamin D is low you can’t absorb calcium, or lose weight. And if it gets too low you’re at risk for organ (especially heart) failure. So that seems like a big deal. Turns out I am “severely” vitamin D deficient.

 

How severely? Well, “optimum” levels are 50-80. 30 is the lowest possible “normal” reading. Organ failure and rickets concerns start at 5. Mine is a 6.

 

Spent the morning in the sun with the small people. Have giant ass supplements to take (prescription strength vitamin D, what, what). Am probably going to die anyway. (being melodramatic…)

Feeling a Little Better & a Little Worse March 31, 2012

Better:

Being spring break and all, I finally bit the dust and conquered three rooms of my house. The kitchen, living room and bathroom are CLEAN, yo! My mom came on Thursday and pulled out the appliances and whatnot in the kitchen and got it really clean, even in the “invisible” spaces. Then she helped me flip over my heavy arse living room furniture, so we could clean under there, too. I found ALL the missing toys. Poor Bert’s been under there since Thanksgiving! So, I feel so much better about the house. It no longer feels like this:

 

Also, I did go food shopping and bought the stuff to make five of the Pinterest meals I was salivating over the most. So far one was awful and two were great. When these meals are gone, I’m going to start my juice fast. The hubs is in complete agreement on this plan. So, next week I’ll be back on the juice wagon.

 

I think I mentioned that I stopped the Arava. Which was the breeding un-friendly drug. We have decided to still spend a couple of months actively preventing, then we’ll re-address. Or, as I like to phrase it, we should have listened to Mrs. Gamgee in the first darn place!

 

Worse:

Holy sickballs, Batman! I freaking hate being sick. I have been sick less than normal, though, what with not interacting with the public on the daily anymore and actually building some kind of immune system with my juicer. But, this latest bug got me and Baby G square in the ears, nose and throat. He was really bad for a couple of days (wouldn’t eat of drink, getting on the verge of needing IV fluids), but thankfully forcing water and medicine down his throat seemed to have worked, because he’s drinking today and less cranky pants. He’s napping now, and has been down 2 hours, which is twice as long as he napped yesterday, so fingers crossed he’s on the mend. Because I am not. I feel asstastic! Gonna take a nap myself I think when the hubs gets home.

 

The brokeness is wearing thin. I miss having disposable income. Less than 2 years until the big credit card is paid off, though, then we will have money again. Hanging in there…

Out of Control March 26, 2012

Right now, my life feels out of control. As in I have no idea where to start to get back on track. Or even where the track is. I’ve been drifting. Treading water. Lately, I’m just drowning… So, I need to get some goals in line and get my lazy ass in gear!

 

•  House: My house is a mess. MESS. Embarrassingly messy. This is not me. Don’t get me wrong, I hate to clean. But, I’ve always had one of those houses where a quick trip through to pick up the out of place stuff was all that was needed to prep for company. Then I had a baby. And that baby came with stuff. A giant truck load of stuff. And it ate my house. And it overwhelmed me. Now my kitchen floor needs mopped, my toilet is gross and the laundry monster is threatening to suffocate me in my sleep. Unacceptable. So, what am I gonna do about it? Well, it is spring break… I suppose I need to clean this shit up. Then get myself a little plan together for keeping on top of it.
• Food: I haven’t been food shopping in two weeks. Don’t get me wrong, we still have food left from the last trip. I could probably feed my family for another week or two without going to the store. Not wholesome or nutritious meals, but meals… Yeah, I need to make a shopping list and get my arse to the store.
• Health: Pinterest be damned, I have to do a juice fast. At the end of my 10 day-er last summer I had lost a bunch of weight and my RA was starting to feel better. It was working. I need to get back on it. Give it a couple of months. Holy hell, if I could lose 50 pounds (200′s I could be in the 200′s!!!) and get my RA better in control my energy would SKY ROCKET. I need energy. I know juice fasting brings me energy. My hang up here is just how much I enjoy yummy tasting food, and the comfort of a nice warm, filling meal. But, I need to put that on the back burner. Temporary pleasure is so much less important than improving my quality of life right now. Those temporary pleasures will ultimately decrease my QOL, a juice fast will improve it. I’m gonna do it. I am!
• Marriage: Yeah, so RPL and crazy families and conflicting parenting styles… not so good for the marriage. We haven’t had sex since we found out that Nora was miscarrying. That’s been like 5 or 6 weeks now. Honestly, I’m in no rush. I was going to say it’s the last thing I want to do right now, but then I realized I probably would rather have sex than properly clean my house… Still this is one of the longest stretches we’ve ever gone and typically for us, no sex is not a good sign. We fight almost every night. He’s driving me crazy. Between saying just stupid shit about current events that don’t even affect us, to totally killing me on the discipline front to making shitty-ass little comments he is driving me bonkers. I don’t know how to turn things around. I don’t have an action plan for this one. Maybe fixing the other things will help it?
• My Appearance: The longer I’ve been out of the work force the rattier my clothing has gotten. My mom infused my wardrobe with some of her clothes she doesn’t wear, but… it’s still not quite a wardrobe anymore. I spend most of my days in pajamas, my shirts have stains on them and nothing fits right or matches. On top of all that, I need a haircut, my nails are a mess and my eyebrows look like Huxley’s. Good grief, why would he even want to have sex with me? Anyway, we don’t really have the cash to invest in how I look, and it’s been low priority to me (obviously), but I’m starting to think maybe it I spruced me up a little I might be able to kick this depression faster?
• Homeschooling: This isn’t so much school as just doing activities with the littles. I started wanting to do something to enrich their little brains everyday, or at least a couple times a week. But, I don’t. I need to get with it, though. Even though the TV is valuable for a small bit during the day, I’m finding the more out of control I feel, the more TV we’re watching. Less TV more activities!!!
• Business: Actually have a plan here! Am going to focus more on patterns. This will hopefully result in more cash… Have 6 more hats to ship, then will be caught up.
• Writing: I have so many ideas!!! Must make myself write everyday.

OK, I think I feel better. At least have the start of a start of a proper to-do list.

Updates & Whatnot March 15, 2012

So, I promised you an update on the situation La Diabla. Plus, you know, there’s other stuff going on, too. The world did not stop moving just because my body killed another innocent baby. Weird how that happens.

 

- La Diabla: So, G took Baby G over to Aunt C’s a couple of times on Sunday morning when I was in the throws of 1st trimestery zombieland. His Aunt C called La Diabla so she could come see the baby, too. Grr… Now, we have long agreed that she will not dictate how we live our lives. For instance, if we are out in public and she turns up, we will go on about our business. But, to me, this is a little different. I feel he should have left. Not because I wanted him to (although the thought of that troll touching my baby makes me want to hurl), but because he told her that he wasn’t interested in seeing her and that he didn’t want her around his son. If you’re going to say things like that, you need to back them up. But, that’s his business. He made it sound like he was unhappy that she turned up and blah, blah, blah, then… did the same bloody thing the following weekend. He’s not being honest with someone, and I think it’s himself. So, I cannot tolerate this whole pretending that nothings happened nonsense, nor do I want that unrepentant bitch anywhere near my child. In other times I might have played it cool, but now that Baby G is involved I actually stood up for my family and told G that she is NOT to be around my son. Period. If she desires a relationship with any member of this family (other than G, I have no right to but in there) then she will agree to family counseling. No counseling, no relationship. She’ll never do it. But, I figure if she does, we all benefit. If she doesn’t, I am able to say I remained willing to make things work, but that she was the uncooperative one. I’m not normally one for games (and I do think that is kind of a game, because I know she won’t ever agree to family counseling), but desperate times…

 

- Once again, I am so pissed that things have worked out this way. Because even though I don’t really like my MIL, she could be really useful. Not only that, we could be friends of sorts. She would be a good one for taking the kids out and couponing together and stuff like that. I wish we could have that kind of relationship. That’s probably why I set the condition of family counseling. I know it’ll never happen. I need to not even let myself think it. But, I do. I wish it could be like that. I hate that I wish that. I wish I could really hate her as much as I want to.

 

- My Health: Sucks. My RA is out of control, I’m in so much pain. I wish I could just feel good. Or, even OK. But, as it is, I’m always tired and achy. My feet hurt so bad and my left ankle is nearly unbearable by bedtime. So, I asked Dr. Rheumy for new drugs today. Strong drugs. Drugs that we’ve been avoiding because we’ve been pro-creating, and now we’re not. She gave me drugs. I am pleasantly stoned right now. I wouldn’t say I’m in much less pain (not that I expected to be on the first day), but, who gives a shit? I’m nice an relaxed. This isn’t really what I want, though…

 

- So What the Hell Do I Want?: Yeah, another big topic around here. Apparently I need goals. Not just for me, either, for the whole family. We need to stop drifting this way. Now that we’ve decided to actively prevent pregnancy, it feels like a whole new world has opened to us. More on this to come.

It’s Early Folks February 27, 2012

Before I start my bitching/pissing/whining/moaning, I would like to give a huge thanks to my awesome bloggity friends. Seriously, you guys rock. Your words really stick with me and I so wish I could apparate so we could hang out in person, sometimes

 

And now, some random thoughts…

 

Actually, I’ve changed my mind. I was gonna talk about it not being fair that I still feel the same and if this pregnancy isn’t going to be viable it could at least have the decency to not make me feel so pregnant. (Nausea and all this a.m.) But, as I was typing the first paragraph Baby G woke up.

 

Try though I might, I just can’t be bitter when I listen to him shout “blocks, blocks, blocks, QUACK.” Hmm, wonder what he’s thinking about? Now he’s singing “e-i-e-i-o” except it sounds more like “e-yo!” It is the most beautiful sound in the world. His little chatters keep me grounded. Losing another sucks, but I have him. If we never get another, we have him.

 

OK, now a funny story before I go get him…

 

G took him over to Aunt C’s last weekend (a whole other topic I skipped during miscarriage-gate, but will fill-in soon) where he was bitten by their bird. Which “grrr” but he wasn’t injured, just a little shocked. So, ever since then, he points at pictures of birds and says “ow!” and holds his finger. Then I ask him what happened and he says “birdie bite! birdie bite!” and I say “oh, no!” or “bad birdie” then we both laugh. In seemingly unrelated news, G frequently refers to a penis as a “bird.” So, last night while Lil G was having a bath and he stood up, put one finger on his penis and said “ow!” Naturally, I asked him what happened and he said “birdie bite! birdie bite!” then proceeded to CRACK UP. Of course, I cracked up as well. He knew he made a joke. (Further proof that he is his father’s child, it was a dick joke…)

Things I Don’t Understand January 12, 2012

You know how you’re not supposed to discuss religion and politics in polite company? Yeah, well, that’s all that’s on my mind lately, so you can just throw that politeness bullshit right on out the window. Let’s start with religion, as it’s the thing playing front role in my metal ramblings. For the record this is long and full of depressing ass shit. So, while I welcome feedback on this topic, I will totally get it if you don’t read it…

Last night we had a little dust up. A certain song that I love (because of it’s melody) came on the radio and I was singing along (it was “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” by Panic! at the Disco). For those of you who don’t know, this song has the word god.damn in the chorus. Of course, on the radio they bleep it out. But much like that Cee Lo song we all know and love so well, I have heard the cd version too many times and sing it, rather than the radio version. Normally, this isn’t an issue (even with that Cee Lo song), but for some inexplicable reason, last night that particular curse word was a BIG DEAL. Such a big deal that I was asked “How am I supposed to raise a kid who believes in God if his mother is an atheist?”

Atheist? I don’t recall ever proclaiming myself an atheist. Questioning? Definitely. Pissed as hell at a God who could let my babies die and all kinds of other horrendous things happen in the world? Yeah, count me in on that one, too. So, I tried to explain that I wasn’t really sure what I believe anymore, but it definitely isn’t that there is definitely a God and that he definitely gives a rat’s ass about us. Of course this was met with more anger and accusations of “atheist.”

But it got me to thinking… what do I believe? I personally think that life rather had to be designed intelligently. I just don’t see the Earth and the life on it springing forth this way by accident. If that were the case, I think all  (or at least most) other planets would be similar to Earth in terms of life. I don’t buy the argument for oxygen. That just happens to be abundant here. If life were creating itself out of the available elements, then there would be no reason that things couldn’t live on Jupiter and breathe helium, instead. Sure, yeah, there could be (and probably are) planets far, far away that we don’t know about, and it’s certainly possible that one or more of them could have life on them, but as it stands, I tend to think there must be some amount of intelligent design involved in our being here.

Now, just because someone designed us and put us here, does that mean they continue to watch over and care for and love us? That’s the question with which I have far more trouble. Our world is full of suffering. Going beyond my little narrow experience of infertility and pregnancy loss, there is so much more suffering out there. I hear people say there’s a reason for it, and God has a plan. But, seriously? He has a plan that involves a woman being anally raped by her boyfriend? He has a plan that involves a 13 month old baby being critically injured in a car accident, living for months on life support only to suffocate to death within an hour of her parents stopping life support because her doctors tell them she will never again breathe on her own, and her brain would never function properly? He has a plan that involves a woman being sexually assaulted by a paramedic on the way to the hospital from the scene of a car accident? He has a plan that involves people just being incredibly cruel? Really?!?!?!?!?! Because I’m just not buying that. These are just the issues really nagging at me today. I could go on ans on with examples.

OK, I had to wait for Baby G. Let’s just assume that for whatever reason, God decided that I needed to do something that required not having a child until August 2010… why did the other pregnancies happen? Why did we see a heartbeat only to have that child die? OK, that baby from the car crash had to die in order for her parents to have her brother, which they wouldn’t have if she were still with them, why the suffering? Why the months on life support? Why force them to make the decision to end their child’s life? What possible good could come of that? Why could her parents not have just been infertile until time for her brother to come along? At the very least, why couldn’t she have been killed instantly? What possible good could ever come from sexual assault? What kind of fucked up plan requires this kind of suffering?  What happened to Romans 8:28? Did all these people who have suffered just not love him enough? What about Jer 29:11? What happened to the whole plan to “not harm”?

So, yeah, I’m bitter. Bitter. I don’t get it. I don’t understand why my best friend had to die at 16 years old of a cancer that ate his brain to the point that he didn’t know his own mother at the end. I don’t get how the Bible is full of assurances of how God is looking out for people and has a plan for them and is taking care of them, but the world is full of sickness and disease and horrible, evil, monstrous people who hurt other people in some of the most disgusting and vile ways imaginable.

Speaking of… we are supposed to be created in God’s image, yeah? So what’s up with the horrible, evil, monstrous people who hurt other people in some of the most disgusting and vile ways imaginable. How could someone created in the image of a “loving and merciful” God kidnap a small child, then torture him for hours until he dies, then leave his body on a railroad track? or anally rape a woman who loves and trusts them? or lure women into their vehicle for the purpose of killing them, then make trophies from their body parts? or any number of other absolutely unimaginable travesties, that somehow someone thought of, then acted on. Either God isn’t the “loving and merciful” being we’ve all been lead to believe, or we are not created in anyone’s image.

I tell you what, it scares the shit out of me that Baby G is going to grow up in this world full of these sick monsters.

I don’t know that writing it all out has helped me get any closer to making any kind of decision or having any kind of epiphany… I’m definitely not trying to change anyone else’s mind. You’re all more than welcome to contribute your pennies to the pot on this topic.

 

** Update… So, I’ve been struggling with this all day. I finally got this post all written and posted and G tells me Aunt C is being checked for lung cancer on Friday. She went to the ER a few days ago and they found spots “all over her lungs.” Really? **

Writing: That Thing I’m Supposed to Be Doing October 12, 2011

So, of course, I’m staying home to bond with Baby G and make sure he’s raised right and what-not. That is The Main Thing. But, honestly, I never expected it to be ALL I did. I rather expected that I’d be writing all the time and my house would be clean and I’d have a raging Etsy business and holy crap I should have done this years ago, we’re rolling in the dough!

As it is… the kids are cared for, but I don’t write much, my house is a wreck, the Etsy business isn’t doing that great (worth the effort I’ve put into it, but not booming) and frankly, we’re broke. Broke, broke. Well, I mean, the bills are getting paid (sometimes late) and we’re eating just fine (i.e. too much), but Christmas is definitely going to be a stretch and we rarely have more than $20 left at the end of the week.

Which brings me to my point. I could alleviate the financial strain by getting a part time job. (Mind you, I do watch 4 kids in addition to my own 45 hours a week, so this would be a second job.) Lots of places are hiring for the holiday season and $75 or $100 a week would be a HUGE boost right now.

OR

I could throw those same 15-20 hours a week into my creative pursuits that were supposed to be making extra cash to begin with. The payoff wouldn’t be so immediate or guaranteed, but it would have the potential to be bigger and would not require being away from Mr. G. It wouldn’t require leaving the house. It wouldn’t require scheduling conflicts or having a boss. I really don’t miss having a boss.

I do miss talking to grown-ups, though. And leaving the house occasionally. See how this circle works?

I have to make a decision, though. I have to do SOMETHING. Doing nothing just isn’t working… I am not accustomed to being this broke. I like buying Christmas presents. I really want to sell a book. And I have so many ideas. I’m totally doing the National Novel Writing Month challenge in November. But that doesn’t help.

So ya’ll have any word of wisdom?

The Rest Continues August 23, 2010

Blah…

That is how I’m feeling right now. I haven’t been off of my ass all day, and yet, I’m yawning. G is being very super supportive, but I am beginning to lose my mind. I have never gone so long without an agenda. Right now I’m in limbo. I’m living in this gray area between two lives, and I’m not allowed to do anything!

I’m sure once Baby G is here I’ll be wishing for one more day of rest to stock up for the long nights and endless crying, but right now it feels so pointless. I would be fine with being home if I could do stuff (like: wash diapers, clean, cook dinner and/or run up to the diaper store for more covers). But as it is I’m laying about, too bored to watch TV, nothing interesting to blog about and unable to do anything to prepare.

I think I’m going to ask DW to induce tomorrow, even if he’s cool with putting it off another week. I don’t see the point in waiting until I’m so sick that it starts affecting Baby G and the longer we wait the more likely it is I’ll need a C-section because I’ll be too ill to handle the rigors of vaginal birth. Plus… I’m just done. All I do is worry. Is he OK, am I OK, are things going to be OK when he’s out here?

I should shut up. No one wants to here the poor pregnant infertile moaning about being pregnant. I’m just very worried, and feel like it’s finally better for him to be out than in.

In Other News: Grrrr July 17, 2010

I am fresh off of one hell of a week. There were plenty of baby related highs, for which I am immensely grateful. But, there were also some lows/frustrations that are bugging me still…

Work: Even though I worked overtime (I am a salaried employee, i.e. every hour over 40 is a donation to the company) in June, including working on weekends and rearranging my personal schedule to accommodate clients on multiple occasions, my boss decided that because I didn’t have all of the details of that time entered into our project tracking software he was going to hold my paycheck. He did not inform me of this decision. (This in and of itself, illegal… But company has less than 50 employees so the great State of Ohio could give a bigger shit.) When he found out that in fact I had entered it all (admittedly late) he forgot to release the hold on my paycheck. So, I woke up Thursday morning to $8 in the bank. I didn’t go to work on Thursday. G wanted me to stay home Friday as well, but I felt that I needed to keep up with my clients… So, let’s see we have passive aggressive game playing, creating a hostile working environment. Six more weeks. Six more weeks.

Family: This actually happened this week… Mother wants me to come swimming with her and the boys. Oh, but one of the boys is sick with “heat” and doesn’t want to go and the other is a video game head and doesn’t want to go. So, let’s just go out to eat. On her side of town because heaven forbid we drive 15 minutes to eat dinner. Except of course Big C wants Uncle G to come, but Uncle G didn’t come with Minta to the other side of town because he didn’t want to go swimming. So, can we meet in the middle? No, Big C wants to go to a restaurant that only has three locations, all of which are an equally long (again, 15 minutes) drive. And even though it’s child friendly and the kids will eat the food, Nana doesn’t like it. So, I get to hear her bitch about a decision made by the sister, G and Big C. Except when we get to the restaurant I find out Big C is sick with dehydration/sun poisoning, not “heat” and has a throbbing headache. So naturally his mother orders him water soda to drink. He takes three bites of his food and literally vomits all over the table. Because he’s that sick. But hey, he’s all right, she’ll just take him home and give him a bath and some water, he’ll be fine… Yes, I would have taken him to the hospital and no, I would not have under any circumstance taken him to a restaurant in that condition. On the bright side, I got to hear Little C make vomit noises all the way home.

Dogs: Yeah, I’m about done with the pug. Like DONE. She has shat on the carpet everyday this week. EVERYDAY. What else has happened this week? I kicked her out of the bed. This is retaliation. I am pissed. PISSED. I also stopped making their food. Have seen dramatic decrease in Waldo’s aggression, but dramatic increase in pug stubbornness. Seriously folks, I’m just not willing to invest much more money or effort into this dog, she really might be on her way out.

Baby Shower #2: My mother completely dropped the ball. My sister has picked up the ball. They are now fighting over it. And, also, have scheduled it for 8/21. Yes, past full term. Please stay tuned for stories of missed my shower because was giving the birth at the time… Also, stayed tuned for stories of, had to return a bunch of shit in October because I had to buy the necessities BEFORE the baby was born and received a bunch of tiny shit/duplicates with no time to return it before the baby was born. (I swear I’m not as big an ungrateful bitch as I’m coming off, just frustrated…)

The Hubs: Is far too spoiled. Life with him and newborn is going to suck the life right out of me. I have always prided myself on being a good wife, but I think I did not do myself any favors by spoiling him so much… (Again, not as bitchy as I sound, just frustrated over little shit, like you know, having to arrange for dinner EVERY night and heaven fucking forbid I need a clean dish to do it, or have planned something he doesn’t feel like at the time. How to manage that on a single income, I don’t freaking know.) Plus, as I’m getting closer to NEEDING him to take care of me more, I’m hearing a lot more sarcastic comments. For instance, as we’re watching a hypnobirthing dvd of real hypnobirths I commented on one dad who had it down. The man was rotating three washcloths and making sure she had the coolest one on her head and he was rubbing her back and give her lots of encouragement. I simply made the comment “Wow, this guy’s got this labor coach thing down!” G’s response? “We better turn this shit off, don’t want you getting any ideas…” Was he joking? Sure. But, still… grrr!

OK, all done bitching.

I am 32 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby. None of the shit above takes away from that. Nothing takes away from that.

Peace

Calm

Peace

Calm

(Still practicing the Hypnobirthing!!!)

Hey Kids It’s Me June 1, 2010

I bet ya thought that I was dead… OK, all done quoting Billy Madison for the day.

Yeah, so I’m not dead. I feel fine. I want to go for a walk. (I don’t recall promising not to quote Monty Python, though… she’s cheeky today, folks!)

Maybe I don’t feel fine, persay. I do have a wicked sore back. Probably from the six year old knees of Big C digging into it all night long. I have to get that kid out of my bed. Like tonight. He’s too tall and I’m too pregnant.

Backache aside, the depression fog seems to be lifting a little. I’ve been really beating myself up over feeling depressed. Where do I get off? I’m six months pregnant, everything is going swimmingly well (more on that in a bit), my hubs is likely to make a full recovery prior to Lil G’s arrival, I should be on cloud f’ing 9. But… I’m not.

I’m depressed. I’m apathetic. I’m lazy. I want to sleep all day and Peggle all night. I want to quit my job. (OK, that may not be the depression… that may be the crap boss.) Like I said, though, that fog is lifting a little. It took a week of really wallowing in it to get here, but I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

Also, sorry for being such a shit blog friend and not commenting for like two weeks. I have been reading and cheering. Especially for my favorite bed rest all star! (But also for my other girls, you know who you are!)

I feel bullets coming on… and here they are:

- I PASSED my glucose tolerance test. Suck it Dr. Quack! Had me poking myself 4x a day for NOTHING! (Sorry for being all cocky, but you’ll recall when I was all, shouldn’t we do a challenge to be sure I have the GD GD and Dr. Quack was all “you’re fat, you haz it!” and I was all “nuh uh”… I recall it well, and am now reassured in my choice to switch. Also, am obviously aware that I have no particular control in this issue and can’t will myself to have good sugars, but am pleased that the tests turned out the way they did (for the obvious health reasons) and also that I was right to challenge Dr. Quack.)

- Was told today cervix is closed! And also the hardening in my tum… Braxton Hicks and NORMAL!

- Also was told that whole backache + cramps when walking too much NORMAL (but chill on the walking and drink more water!). Was told to spend more time in the pool/hot tub! Score!

- The pool is open!

- The hot tub was opened this week. Dr. has cleared me at 95 degrees. Dr. has told G it’s safe at 95 degrees (current setting). Yes, yes, yes!!!

- In short Dr. Dubya is happy with progress. Happy with Lil G’s stats, happy with blood pressure (110/80) and happy with weight gain (or rather LACK of weight gain, as I’m still still 3 pounds under my start weight). I’m healthier pregnant than not pregnant!

- I’m happy to be getting my cooch kicked in all day by mah baybee. Kick away baybee, cervix has been declared closed for business!

- Big C was weighed and measure whilst Dr. Dubya sneaked a peak at my cooter and is 4 feet 4 inches tall and weighs 59.6 pounds (off the chart much?). Can we say tall and skinny. (Aunt Minta on the other hand… rocking the 5’2″ and 371 pounds…)