Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Today really isn’t my day January 29, 2009

Filed under: Infertility — arminta @ 5:02 pm

After the insanity of the morning, I got to work to bitchy e-mails and then to tops it all off nice and shitty like… the AF comes for a visit.

Can’t a girl catch an f’ing break once in a while?

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I Love the Snow

Filed under: Completely and Entirely Unrelated to IF,My Fat Ass — arminta @ 12:51 pm

Really, I do.

But not the ice. Definitely, not the ice.

One of the wonderful parts of living in Ohio, is that a couple of times a year we get real snow. It’s so pretty and so much fun. Big C and Uncle G are going sledding tomorrow and hopefully I’ll have my snowman done tonight. Yes, I’m the big dork playing out in the snow all by m’lonesome. This, you see, is why I needs some kiddies. It’s not dorky to build a snowman with your kids.

So, the snow, thumbs up! The ice, no… no thumbs for ice.

This morning, I was 1.5 hours late for work. Being that we have flex time and my boss is in Hawaii etc… it’s not a huge big deal, but I’d rather not be late. As I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, the ice was responsible for the late. Boo! So what happened that’s so blog-worthy?

Right, G got the snow off of my windows this morning, but I had ice caked up .5-1 inch thick all over the windows, too. So, I decided to let the car run for a while to melt the under layer of ice, allowing me to lift it off in sheets. This method works, I’ve done it before. So while it’s running I’m showering and feeding the dogs and packing lunch, yay. You know all the morningly stuff I do. Then I go out and scrap the ice. For like 25 minutes. But it all came off, yay! So, then I go back into the house to get my laptop and lunch etc… come out, lock the door and go to get into the freshly de-iced vehicle.

But no, the vehicle is locked.

With my keys inside of it. My house keys and my car keys…

Now, I’m stuck outside, armed with only my wallet and cell phone. So I call, G, no answer. Call again, no answer. Yikes! What to do stuck outsides in the freezingness of the snow? Luckily G calls back! But is of no help. The man is in Indiana, and has taken the “hidden” outside key back inside. Oh noes! Then I think, maybe I can hoist my fat ass through one of the windows, if there’s one unlocked. Thankfully, there is! And it’s a low one! (OK, bad, but good right now!) So I manage to shimmy the window open from the outside side and somehow manage to get my fat ass up and over and in, all the while being attacked on one side by the pug. Well, maybe not “attacked” but definitely, distracted and jumped on. So now, I’m back in my house, but still keyless. Luckily, G left my spare remote off of his keychain so I could use it to unlock the car door and finally get to work.

Totally crazy!

 

Fertility Friend is a Whore January 27, 2009

Filed under: Infertility — arminta @ 4:52 pm

and not the nice, here’s an O for some cash kind, either. More like the, hey let me tease you for a month and charge you for it kind.

I used the Fertility Friend for charting because I’m too anal to try to write/draw my charts and I like to take control away from me wherever possible on stuff like that. So this month I re-incorporated temps in addition to the cervical mucus/position charting because I didn’t have enough pieces of data to over analyze. So, last month I had the trigger shot and the whole timing bit was scheduled for me, which I’ll admit was really nice. But this being a non-treatment cycle required more analysis of the signs and I’m really quite certain that I ovulated on my own (yay!). Which is great.

What does this have to do with the whorishness of Fertility Friend? Well, I have a premium membership. How great is that, for a minimal fee you can add things to obsess over! One of the “benefits” of a premium membership is that they add a “pregnancy monitor” which pops up after ovulation. It tells you great things like if you screwed enough during your window (I did…), and what the liklihood is that you’re pregnant. This is based on lots of info, not just the screwing, but OH MY GOD! Last month this thing was all 80% and I was all Yay! and no… So now it’s sitting on 79% and I’m all “you’re a liar” so we’ll see…

 

Contrary to Popular Belief, Minta is Not a Pincushion January 20, 2009

Filed under: Rheumatoid Arthritis — arminta @ 7:51 pm

Shocking, I know.

But in fact, true.

At least as far as I know. I suppose I could be a pincushion experiencing some sort of weird alternate reality thing. Seems unlikely, though. So what’s with this odd talk of pincushiness? I went to the doctor today. Not Dr. Wonderful. I don’t see him again for a while. This was my new rheumatologist, for see friends my ovaries aren’t the only non-functioning area of my body. My immune system’s mighty whacked out as well. It’s been a while since I’d been to any rheumatologist, so new doc needed blood (much like Dracula from the previous post!). She need five vials, to be exact. I knew she would need it and drank an assload (translation a big Aquafina) of water about an hour prior to the appointment. The chick collecting blood poked me, and I am NOT exaggerating on this point, SIX times. For five vials. She also threw away, as in put into the garbage to not use, four 1/4-1/2 full vials because they weren’t “full enough.” But for real, that happened. I am so pissed. She didn’t even make it into a vein in two spots, in the four spots that she did manage to find a vein she left MASSIVE, seriously like two quarters, bruises. My hands look like someone hit them with a hammer. Yeah, I said hands… she couldn’t get blood out of my reliable vein (I’m pretty sure because my arm was above my heart, and she left the tourniquet on, but I’m no nurse/phlebotomist so I could be wrong) so she went into my hands. After blowing a vein in my left hand she dug into the right and couldn’t get blood from there either (amazingly, hand still higher than heart). Then she went into the middle of my forearm and had to dig around to find one in there. Pissed! How can a doctors office only have one nurse in the office?!?! But, I was nice to her, right, because contrary to what my writing betrays, I try really hard to not be a bitch. Yes, I have to try sometimes, but c’mon, six pokes and I was still being nice, really I don’t think a nomination for sainthood is out of line here.

So, now you know truth as to why I’m not a junkie. I got nothing against the heroine*, I just don’t have big enough veins to shoot up!

Ok, enough of that hooha… Who watched 24 last night? See, the thing is, I’m going to marry Jack Bauer. Not Keifer Sutherland, but Jack Bauer, for realsies. I freaking love that show. Seriously. When it was done last night, G was all “What it’s over? That wasn’t an hour!” It’s like season 1 or 3 good this year. Not nearly as crap-assy as last season. I still love it, mind you, but last season was well, a little stinky speshel.

* Actually, not true, I’m really all “anti-drug”, big party pooper straight girl

 

The Funk May Be Lifting January 18, 2009

Filed under: Completely and Entirely Unrelated to IF,The Blah — arminta @ 8:08 pm

Well, after a long weekend of doing nothing… I’m starting to feel a little less “bleh.” I did ovulate this cycle (if FertilityFriend.com can be trusted!) and we timed the baby dancing right. Poor G, having to do the deed with pneumonia! So, there’s a shot any way. I’m not getting all super excited like last cycle. That was just insane. I knew it, too, so shame on me.

I’ve got the whole new year bug, too. So I’m trying to do little things like, get to work at a consistent time (I heart flex time), keep the house cleaner and keep up with the pooches nails better. Should I be losing weight? Yes! Of course, I’m doing the eating healthier thing, but if I don’t tell myself we’re dieting, maybe I won’t catch on, eh?

So back to the dog nails, as I know that’s what nobody’s dying to read about 🙂 Waldo’s were like Dracula’s from Brahm Stoker’s Dracula, you know when Gary Oldman was all super creepy with the long nails bit (see illustration below). Those suckers were really hard to chop through. I got them a rotary trimmer (the $20 one) for Christmas, but Waldo’s were so far gone I had to whack ’em with the garden lopers first! Also, Waldo is not the pug. The pug was being very bad (not abnormal) and wouldn’t let me get near her with the rotary thing or the nail clippers.

Speaking of Gary Oldman… I’m so sad he won’t be in the Half Blood Prince, but I am so dying for it to come out! OK, so that transition was terrible, but whatever! Right, I’m a total Harry Potter freak. I loved all seven books, and am dying for the last two movies. I was all super psyched for the Thanksgiving release and now waiting for July is well, wrong. I shouldn’t have to.

 

BTW… Infertility Sucks January 16, 2009

Filed under: Infertility — arminta @ 7:54 pm

OK, so I’m still not over my whole bad attitude over round one going badly. Why is this so hard for me to accept and get over? I knew from the jump chances weren’t high for a first round success. I’ll tell you why it’s so hard, the freaking hcg shot! They gave me a shot that made me feel pregnant right up until time to test at which point I stopped feeling it, and was (of course) not knocked up. I call this kind of treatment cruel and unusual. It’s as if some evil old man (in my head he looks like Mr. Burns from the Simpsons, or as Big C says the Stimpsons) is sitting in an oversized office full of bizarre things like body parts in jars, and pickled piglets hatching plans to further torment infertile women. I can see him scratching his head and thinking aloud to his Igor like assistant”What’s worse than not getting pregnant? Miscarriage, that’s worse… I’ve got it! Make her think she’s pregnant, convince her, then at just the right time rip it away so that she thinks not only is she infertile, she’s also insane. Yes, that’ll do nicely…”

So, anyhizzle… Here we are one cycle and $500 down. Yes, I know that’s not big money when talking infertility, but it’s big money to me. Don’t get me wrong, ifins we get that elusive BFP and all goes well the last thing on my mind will be the price tag. But until then it’s a little like paying for disappointment. Scratch that, it’s exactly like paying for disappointment. Since disappointment is obviously not the goal of the treatments, it’s doubly disappointing.

Wow, I’m just all kinds of negative, yet again. No wonder nobody reads this! I’m thinking a major shift in perception is required here. More on this to come…

 

I may be the worst blogger in the history of blogging January 13, 2009

Filed under: Blogging,Clomid Round 1,Infertility — arminta @ 5:29 pm

… maybe not, but I tend to think, yeah, pretty bad. Evidence: #1 insane lengths of time between posts and #2 extreme lack of readership.

So what’s the deal? What’s so freaking important that I can’t take 5 minutes to jot out my thoughts for the general public to not read? It’s not being pregnant, I can tell you that.

OK, quick recap:

Clomid Round #1 goes to… Infertility! That’s right folks even with the drugs, I’m a loser.
Holidays: *blech*
Work: Almost drowned in November
Home: See notes re: losing Clomid Round #1

So maybe I’ve been writing because there’s enough depressing drivel on the internet. Anyway, this cycle’s drug free then we’re back on the (very expensive) bandwagon.