Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

The Move March 28, 2009

Filed under: Blueberry Bean,Pregnant — arminta @ 4:07 am

The move has come and gone and I’m still here to blog about it, yay! I do still have some stuff that needs to be moved, but not much. I didn’t get the packing help that I was expecting so my office is still a mess, but I don’t know where I’m going to put the office in the new house anyway. I’ll probably put it in the attic because the second bedroom is going to be the nursery.

Do what?

Yes, I said nursery. We got a positive pee test over the weekend and my blood test came back positive yesterday afternoon. As Rainn Wilson would say… My eggo is preggo. HOORAY!!!!

 

So Confused March 26, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2,Family — arminta @ 2:03 pm

Well, yesterday my temp dipped a little (to 98.1, which is still high for me). The exhaustion and nausea are slightly better. Now, though the nausea is back full force, and it brought it’s good friend heartburn to play.

So, I know the shot is gone by now, I would have thought it was gone a few days, ago, though. So, the change in symptoms is confusing to me. I just wish there was some way to know Yes! Implantation has occured, today.

In other news, I got to babysit my niece H last night. It was so fun to spend time with her, without everyone else being up our keesters. I love my hubs and obviously her parents/grand-parents know her better than I, because they’re always with her. But, I’d like to get to know her, without everybody else popping in their two cents. Maybe she does like gravy in her mashed potatoes, if they’re prepared differently. Maybe she does like to be tossed in the air by some people. Maybe she’s changed her mind about which doll is her favorite today. So, anyway, it was fun to just chill with the H-bug and get to know her for myself. We had a fun time.

OK, I’ve got to go struggle to maintain awakefulness (it’s a word, now) until 6:00pm.

Before I get, the FertilityFriend pregometer is sitting at 97%…

 

Something New March 24, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2 — arminta @ 5:24 pm

I am so hot. Not like, “I’m gorgeous”, but like “Who turned up the heat, it’s 900 degrees in here.”

I cannot recall ever having been this warm before. I’m sure it’s happened, like when it’s 90 degrees outside or something, but for real, it’s cool out and I’m sweating in short sleeves and capri’s. Normally, I’m the person running a space heater in August.

If this isn’t a sign of successful implantation, I don’t know what is. (In all realness, my temps are running about .3-.4 degrees higher than normal for this time of the month.) I guess we just have to wait for the beta on Monday to find out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to be peeing on sticks before then, but I don’t think I’ll be able to trust it until Dr. Wonderful says “You are no longer PUPO, just pregnant, start the heparin injections.” That’s when it will be real, FertilityFriend be damned.

Speaking of my whore of a best friend, FertilityFriend, the “are you knocked up predictor” is up to a whopping 93%. Apparently constipation is a good thing. I’m going to have to respectfully disagree. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll gladly be constipated for a year if it means a baby, but I’m not going to call it a good thing.

Now that I’ve openly had hope for not one but three days in a row the universe will punish me swiftly and severely, I’m sure, so feel free to point and laugh when this happens. I’m sure the other shoe is preparing to drop any minute.

 

Time is Sooooo Slooooowwww March 23, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2 — arminta @ 10:10 am

We are officially 8 dpo. Yes, I am referring to myself using the royal “we.” Besides, I might be a we, so get off me, I’ll do what I want! But for real, could the days until next Sunday be going any slower? I don’t think they could. Unless… No, they are going as slow as is possible.

So, yesterday I had a huge temp spike. I made it all the way to 98.6!! I rarely do that during the day, so that has to be a good sign, right. I was 97.8 on Saturday and 98.6 on Sunday, so something has to have happened. The high temp remains today, so I’m taking that as a sign.

There’s just nothing like spring to make that bitch Hope come out and play. Oh, well, hopes are high now, so be prepared for the inevitable crash, dear internets.

Are we wondering what that whore FertilityFriend has to say on the matter? 82% Which is officially the highest number I’ve gotten at this stage in the game. I give her no credence though. According to her I should have been pregnant many times before. (Yes, I’ve given gender to an emotion and a web site, again, I do what want!)

So now, back to the hope… I realized that I’d not yet posted the multiples math, here’s what we got:

No Baby: 20.00%
Singleton: 80.00%
Twins: 16.00%
Trips: 3.20%
Quads: 0.64%

We have a higher chance of no baby than of twins. Also, yes, I’m aware that there is no mathematical model to predict success, and there’s always a chance for no success. This is based off of the 1 in 5 chance of conceiving on a given normal ovulatory cycle (i.e. one egg, on one side) statistics to decide to go forward or not with the follies we had. Obviously we went forward.

OK, so now a little time has past. Let’s hope more can pass more quickly.

 

Fighting Urge to POAS March 20, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2 — arminta @ 11:43 am

I know it’s too early. I know the way I’m feeling right now is from the trigger shot. I am fully aware that there is no way I could be pregnant, yet, and the zygote is still in transit from tube to ute and will need a couple days to hunker down once in said ute.

I know these things.

But, I still want to see those two lines NOW. Not on the 31st when that whore FertilityFriend thinks I should and not on the 27th when the nurse thinks I should, but RIGHT FREAKING NOW.

 

Two Week Wait, I Hate You March 19, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2 — arminta @ 10:00 am

You are so cruel in the way that you slow down time.

You are so mean in the way that you make me think every little thing is a pregnancy sign.

I think you get a big kick out of watching me alternate between hope and despair 6 times an hour.

Suffice it to say, I don’t like you and you’re not my friend (to quote Big C). Unless I’m pregnant, then we can be friends again!

 

The MIL is Still Buggin’ Me March 18, 2009

Filed under: Family,Marriage — arminta @ 3:08 pm

OK, here’s the thing, I don’t want to see G hurt. I know that my going after his mother the way I’d like to right now will end in his being more hurt. She’s already hurt him enough this week. However, I’m still feeling like boundaries need to be enforced. I did this once before. I changed our phone numbers, we moved and did not give her the address. Then G would call her when HE was up for it (blocking the phone number) and eventually, he felt like it was OK to give her the phone numbers and address. Then things were OK for a while. We’ve been through several rounds of OK and definitely NOT OK over the past 15 years. Although, we’ve never had to go back to the extreme of changing the phone numbers again.

If there weren’t the possibility of a baby coming soon, I’d be right on board with that. But, I know G wants to be able to share the birth of his first child with his Mom. Of course he does. He wants a Mom that loves and respects him and is happy for him. He wants to have a normal, healthy relationship with her. I can’t blame him for that, of course that’s what he wants. I want it for him. On the other hand, that’s not going to be possible with his mother.

Now, I understand that a big part of her problem is jealousy. She’s jealous that I have a career and that I have been able to provide G with a better home than she was able to. She’s jealous that I don’t have to stay married to a man I hate because I have no job skills or way to support myself. She’s jealous that I have a loving husband. She’s jealous that I made good life decisions and she did not. She’s jealous of G, too. It’s conflicting her because on the one hand she weirdly kind of worships G, and on the other she’s very jealous of him. Because he’s happy and she isn’t. I understand this kind of mentality, some members of my fathers family created it. But, I don’t understand it coming from a mother to her child.

At any rate. I feel as if I cannot let this most recent episode go by without addressing it. It is apparent to me that if she will not be a decent person of of respect and love, then she will have to just behave like one out of fear of repercussion. For instance… calling names = hanging up the phone or leaving the restaurant. It’s a crying shame that a grown adult should have to be trained the way one would train a puppy.

If anyone else has suggestions for dealing with a Monster-In-Law in a way that reduces stress (rather than adds to it), please feel free to share.