Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

July 2, 2009

Filed under: Blueberry Bean — arminta @ 1:26 pm

Dear Bean,

Mommy and Daddy miss you so much. We truly would have loved to hold you and see you and smell you. Sometimes Mommy can’t think of anything except what you might have looked like. We love you, we will always love you.

Today I should have been 17 weeks pregnant with you. You would be as big as an onion right now! You were only a little raspberry when you left us. I still read about how would have developed.

I wish I knew what it felt like to feel you kicking and wriggling inside of me. I wish I could still hear your heart on the ultrasound monitors. I wish I had been a better Mommy and that my body hadn’t pushed you away. I wish that wherever you are, you are with your brothers and sisters who never made into my arms.

Love you always & forever,

Mommy

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