Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Infertile Women Are Crazy July 23, 2009

Filed under: Blueberry Bean,Miscarriage — arminta @ 9:08 am

or, so says Hollywood.

I really hate it when movies sneak in some element of infertility where it really doesn’t belong or doesn’t add to the story. Can you tell I watched a movie last night? Can you see it pissed me off?

Now, I’m not one of the ones up in arms over Up. As a matter of fact, I’m thinking of taking the C’s to go see it to help them understand why their cousin isn’t coming home soon & the nursery is now an office. Big C still doesn’t quite get it. I’m actually thinking of making a family day out of it. We’ll see, just an idea bouncing in my head right now. Back to the point… Also, Marley & Me, the miscarriage in that movie was definitely part of the story and important to the plot (plus I think there’s some based on a true story element to that one). But, in The Uninvited (yes, the horrible horror movie starring the so pretty Elizabeth Banks) there’s no need for the infertility.

OK, I have a thing for bad movies and me & G are both rocking crushes on Elizabeth Banks, so The Uninvited looked like a good choice. It was terrible, too. In that good kind of terrible. Nothing was as it seemed, but that was all an after thought because there were 0 clues to that fact (note to screen writers that want to fuck people’s minds: watch some M. Night Shyamalan flicks, foreshadowing is good) throughout the bulk of the film. All was well, until about the 3/4 mark. The crazy stepmother is having a little monologue and states “You know, I will never have children. I can’t. Bet you didn’t know that. But it never stopped me from dreaming of having a daughter.” I’ll not tell you the rest, as spoiling movies (even bad ones) isn’t my bag, but essentially, they just throw this in to make her look more crazy. She already looked crazy enough. She had already drugged the kid and been accused of killing another man’s kids to have him all to herself. There was no need to make her look more crazy, nor was there any logical cause for including infertility in her craziness, it just didn’t fit.

But, that’s the Hollywood perception, right? If you’re infertile you either steal or murder other people’s kids to exact your revenge. It’s fucking ridiculous. I’m not saying I’d rush to see a movie about infertility, but I might. Nor am I saying that I want to see more infertility in Hollywood. What I am saying is that if they need to make a crazy stepmother more crazy, why can’t she have lost her mother at a young age, or have a chemical imbalance, or be the daughter of satan? Why does she have to be infertile? And, if somebody does have to be infertile, if that has to included in film, why can’t we have a strong infertile heroine? We need an infertile super-hero who saves the world. Or at least an infertile character who manages to make life work and doesn’t kill/steal other people’s children. Even in Losing Isiah Jessica Lange’s character was portrayed in a more negative light as the infertile woman trying to steal the baby from the woman who was turning her life around and just wanted another chance. In a movie about ADOPTION. Shouldn’t the adoptive parents be the hero’s in a movie ABOUT ADOPTION? OK, now I’m ranting, sorry.

It makes me wonder if this is how the general population sees us. If so, is the protrayal in movies a reflection of that, or has that assumption come from how infertility is played in movies? I don’t know, and I’m not trying to get all deep. I just can’t help but to be reminded of all the times people in my real life have called me bitter, or told not to be so bitter when I think of the way infertility is played out to the public eye.

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4 Responses to “Infertile Women Are Crazy”

  1. Kate Says:

    Yeah hollywood is weird like that. I also hate how in Holly wood like the Sex in the City Movie, they always get pregnant and live happily ever after. Or adopt and get pregnant right away. I herad Jennifer Aniston is doing a new movie on infertility that might be sensitive. We’ll see.

  2. […] had to Google this one for myself… Lo and behold I’m the fourth result thanks to this post. I have to wonder what has prompted this search to begin […]

  3. Ali Says:

    My own experience dealing with infertile women has been rather nasty. Maybe because I have a baby and they don’t, although they have no clue if I had problems getting pregnant (I didn’t). A used to be very good friend of mine who had a miscarriage told me that I and her sister (both stay at home moms) don’t “do anything all day”. Not sure why she “knows” what any mom does or does not do, she is not a mom. I know someone who wants kids but doesn’t have them tell me her niece was “her baby”. No, if you have a niece, you are the aunt, not the mother. She is forever talking down about her sister in law, and how incompetent she is as a mother. I will tell you from first hand experience, being a mother seemed so much easier before I had a child! And I think most parents would agree with that.

    My husband and I started avoiding this couple who we suspect had fertility problems, they were forever telling us what to do with our baby, criticizing us, and other mothers. They were so very bitter. I guess they thought the world “owed them” a baby, and since they had been married for years and wanted children and didn’t have any, their next best thing was to condemn every single action of every single parent.

    I do wonder if these infertile women also belittle women who have bigger houses, more exciting careers, etc, than they do, or do they just complain about women with children when they don’t have any? Infertility must be a horrible thing to experience first hand, but I don’t see how being angry and rude to others is going to help the situation.

  4. […] under: Blogging, Infertility — arminta @ 8:54 pm A post that I wrote quite a while back, Infertile Women are Crazy, is one of the ones that consistently gets some search engine traffic from people Googling […]


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