Ofhormones, that is. My body does not ovulate on it’s own. I know this. so, I know to be on the look out for hormonal and irrational behavior and thoughts when I force it to ovulate against its will. That’s why it was so obvious yesterday that I had lost my damn mind.
I actually sent my husband out for chocolate, and then a few hours later for Taco Bell. Yes, as in he was home, and comfy and doing something other than feeding my fat face and I said to him “GET ME CHOCOLATE BEFORE I TEAR YOU INTO SMALL PIECES AND FEED YOU TO THE DOGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” OK, I may not have been that evil about it, but I was pretty crabby. Also, I pouted and refused to go swimming after Big C got snitty with me and told me I wasn’t allowed to go to the pool (then expected me to go). Yes, it is fair to say that I behaved like an immature, spoiled, bratty bitch yesterday.
Why, you ask?
Estrogen. Estrogen may or may not be closely related to the devil. (Now, I shall get search term results for “the devil and estrogen” woo hoo!) Obviously, insulin is still the actually devil. I think estrogen may just be its sister or cousin or something of the sort. At any rate, I behaved like an ass yesterday, and I’m blaming estrogen.
I decided to look back at my symptoms from this time in my last Clomid cycle and realized that this was the time that my ovaries started feeling excessively full. Of course we found four large follies. Also, I was an emotional roller coastery (it’s a word now…) wreck. I am concerned, now, though, that my ovaries don’t hurt. Does that mean that my follies aren’t maturing? Does it mean I’m not responding well? Egads, more to obsess over. Too many obsessions not enough time!
We’ll find out tomorrow. My follie scan is at 8am. I had more follibuds this cycle than ever before, so let’s hope for lots of actual follicles! I am really hoping for 4-6. Yes, I’ll go forward with 6 follies. The statistics for twins would be 16-%24% with that many follies, but the chances of higher order are much lower (3%-5% for trips, less than 1% for quads or higher). Yes, I know that with six, all six could fertilize and implant. But, it’s highly unlikely and with my history, I think it’s worth the risk. Of course this is all just daydream speak, because at this point my ovaries feel fine and the only cue I have that the Femara’s done anything at all is the fact that I’m acting crazy.