Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

What the doctors are saying September 1, 2009

Filed under: Infertility — arminta @ 2:38 pm

The docs are saying the same as always, combo of too much insulin and crazy immune system. I’m on all kinds of immune suppressants now (yay for having no immune system going into the flu season!), but pregnancy was shorter than the last. There has been no talk of egg quality because of my age (I’m only 29 for crying out loud). But, I started puberty at 4 (not a typ-o, four), so I’m back to wondering what part that is playing into this. My primary RE is well versed in early onset puberty, though and is confident that neither the disease nor treatment are affecting me right now. The team is back to bariatric surgery/dramatic weight loss to try to correct/reign in the insulin, then trying again in two years.

 

Don’t get me wrong here, I actually want the surgery. I want to lose weight. I’d LOVE to be 150 pounds lighter. I’m very fat, and I hate it. I especially hate spending my life watching what I eat just to maintain 300+ pounds. If I truly just ate what I felt like and didn’t exercise, I’d easily balloon up to 500 pounds. Which is ridiculous. But, with hyperinsulemia, them’s the breaks. A normal person with a normal metabolism just doesn’t pack on the weight that way, at least not without intentionally eating thousands of calories a day above their BMR. I try to stay within 200 calories on either side of my BMR and still gain as often as I lose. Especially when you add Ovidrel and Prednisone to the party.

 

My point? Right, I was supposed to be doing more than just ranting about my fucked up body, fucked up metabolism, fucked up ovaries, fucked up me. Sorry, I’ll stop now. My point is that, while I’m all about losing weight and would love to have the surgery, my insurance sucks ass and won’t pay and I just don’t have $20k sitting around. I’m selling a house and renting from my mother because I already spent $20k that I didn’t have.

 

In short, I’m screwed.

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3 Responses to “What the doctors are saying”

  1. mrsfinn Says:

    reading this- I could SWEAR you’re inside my head. The only reason I’m below the 300lb threshold is because I’m barely over 5′ tall. I definitely understand your frustration.

    eat= gain weight- work out= gain weight- don’t eat = gain weight- take drugs to help lose weight= they make you sick as hell and STILL gain weight!!!

    I wish I was there to give you a hug. I hope it’s enough to know that you’re not alone.

  2. Kate Says:

    I have Insulin resistance and its very very very frustrating to try as hard as you can and never see results. I too wish I was there to give you a hug. I hate that you had to go through this again. I hope your husband is there to support you and a good shoulder to cry on.

  3. arminta Says:

    Thank you ladies. *hugs* and *hugs*


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