Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

How to Make a 33 Year Old Man Cry in Public September 8, 2009

Filed under: Infertility — arminta @ 9:45 pm

(other, than kicking him in the peaches.)


Take him to see the movie Up. This technique is most effective when combined with multiple miscarriages in a short space of time and a crazy wife who has declared herself to have given up.


So, yesterday my aunt & uncle (who are also infertile) wanted to take Big C to see Up. They had no idea of the infertility undercurrent. Big C is kind of skitzy about going places with people, so G and I went along for the ride. We did know of the infertility undercurrent, and hoped that it would actually be beneficial to Big C to see that other families have lost their babies, too. I was slightly afraid of an outburst along the lines of “Look Minta, that lady’s baby died, too” in the middle of the theatre, but thankfully he seems to have retained some of the manners that have been beaten into him over the years.


As expected, I bawled through most of the movie. I bawled at the parts that reminded me of our life now, what I fear G’s life will become, what I am afraid we’ll miss. Like I said, I bawled through the whole damn movie. This was a known danger, though. My hormones are still a hot mess, and I’m seven shades of depressed, so crying is kind of my thing. Especially when confronted with my greatest fears, animated Pixar style. The unexpected for me was G’s crying. It never ceases to amaze me how much this whole mess affects him, too. He never opens up about it, so I assume it’s all OK. I assume he just isn’t as upset as I am. I. Assume. Wrong.


I’ve been trying to put myself in his shoes today. He has it worse than I do in this whole mess. Not only is he also affected by the infertility, he is a dead end by choice. He has to live with knowing that he could reproduce if he made different choices. Not only that, he also has to face the near certainty that he will outlive his wife. He will be alone. All the way alone. I will at least have him. Well, assuming he doesn’t wise up to the fact that it would be to his benefit to find someone with functioning reproductive organs who could provide him with offspring and even potentially outlive him.


2 Responses to “How to Make a 33 Year Old Man Cry in Public”

  1. I wish I could think of something witty and/or enlightening to say… I just can’t right now…

    I just wish these things didn’t happen.

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