Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Random Ramblings October 20, 2009

Filed under: The Blah — arminta @ 7:11 pm

So, I don’t really have anything new or exciting going on.

 

I’m on day 26 of a seemingly annovulatory cycle. Of course, my body is giving me the mixed signal buffet, as it always does. At least it’s not the crystal clear 100% signs that really mess with me (of course, those cycles nearly always turn out that I am pregnant). Of course, I missed temping for two days and when I temped again my temps were up. But not that up. That whore FertilityFriend doesn’t think I ovulated, anyway. So, like I said, I’m on the potentially infinite AF watch. My cycles can go 40-60-100 days if I don’t ovulate. Not that it really matters, because we’re not really “trying” at this point, and if we’re not trying I don’t really care if I never have a period again. Actually, I kind of hope I don’t. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if I can’t have a baby, I don’t want to have a period.

 

Let’s see, in addition to that… same ol’ family drama. Some people are mad at other people and everybody wants me to take sides. But they’ll all be over tomorrow. Big C has cavities and is seeing Uncle G’s big boy dentist in a couple of weeks. Sister having knee surgery, her and the C’s are going to stay with us while she recovers. That’ll end badly, but it’s the right thing to do for her.

 

I’m sick, as always. I swear if my immune system was capable of behaving normally I wouldn’t know how to handle it. Can you imagine not being sick all the time, not having swollen joints, not being constantly tired? I sure can’t.

 

We’re looking for an adoption agency. The one near the house is a non-profit and primarily places older children from what I can tell. Of course the benefit to their being a non-profit, is that their rates are low. The downside is I suspect the infant wait is going to be pretty long. On the other hand there are a couple of agencies that specialize in infant adoptions, but they not non-profit and thus the fees are fairly high. You know what I really, really hate? Putting a price tag on building a family. It feels like baby-shopping (which is what it is) which just feels icky. But, the facts are, I don’t have $30k to spend or the ability to spend weeks out of the country. I don’t have the ability to write a $20k check to cover “expenses.” So, I guess we’ll just have to “shop around.”

 

Like I said nothing new or exciting. Maybe I’ll pick up a bottle of wine or a candy bar when I stop to gas up the truck. (That’s not a metaphor, I literally need to fill up my truck with gasoline…)

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2 Responses to “Random Ramblings”

  1. Justina Says:

    My husband and I are also thinking about adoption – though we haven’t gone as far as going to an agency yet. It’s a hard decision hey? And knowing how much money you’ll be putting out for it – that makes it even harder. I wish you all the best in your journey!

    ICLW

    • arminta Says:

      We haven’t actually gone to an agency, yet. I’m just googling them like crazy and looking at web sites. Some of them post their fees on the site. But, yes, know the money it will cost + the wait time + the possibility of it not going through at the last minute is all VERY scary.


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