Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Maybe you can trick your body… October 24, 2009

Filed under: Adoption,Infertility — arminta @ 11:48 am

Before I get started, no, I don’t believe that is at all possible to trick yourself into getting pregnant by starting adoption proceedings. That said…

 

I actually mustered up the balls to call, and speak to two adoption agencies yesterday. One was the for profit baby seller in the town where my sister live (hippieville) and the other was the non-profit helping children in need agency that I could walk to and back before you finish reading this post. I scheduled an appt to meet with the close one. I did this because regardless of “symptoms” that I’m experiencing this cycle (as I do MOST cycles, as we all do most cycles, because we’re crazy and we’re programmed to find a way to be pregnant, science be damned) I’ve pretty much decided this is a failed effort and we’re going to adopt.

 

I’ve become more clear on this decision. That at least we’re going to give this option a fair shake. That we’re going to meet some agencies, we’re going to see how well this fits us for real. Not from Google, not from what I think, but for real, by talking to people who have been there. Each day this decision feels more clear and comfortable than the day before. It’s really starting to feel less like a last resort and more like an option, a chance, hope (bitch!). Each day I’ve been letting go of this cycle and future cycles little by little. As a matter of fact this morning I woke up, took my temp, logged it into FerilityFriend (old habits die-hard) and didn’t even look at the pregnancy predictometer. But, I did look to see when to expect my period, which is new in and of itself, because I wasn’t checking my test date, but my expected AF date. It’s tomorrow, BTW.

 

But, I scrolled too far using my laptops scrolly on the touch pad. I scrolled to an area I wasn’t intending to check and I saw this:

Implantation Signs

 

Just in case your eyesight sucks as badly as mine it says: Implantation Signs: Possibly Triphasic on Day 27.

 

I have only charted for two of my pregnancies.  Until today those are the only two  pre=”two “>triphasic charts that I have. My BBT was 98.62 today.

 

Obviously, this is conclusive evidence of nothing. I’m not testing until Thursday (which happens to be the day before my appt with the adoption agency). So we know nothing for sure.

 

If that test comes back positive, though, my theory is this… The fertilized, free-floating zygote heard me tell G I was going to call the agency. I think fertilized, free-floating zygotes have a type of instinct that if they hear the word adoption they implant immediately. LOL

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3 Responses to “Maybe you can trick your body…”

  1. Quiet Dreams Says:

    I hope it works out that way for you–you can be that person that the ignorant ones all cite to infertiles as the proof that they should “just adopt” and they’ll get pregnant. LOL

    Seriously, good luck and many hugs. This whole thing wreaks havoc on one’s sanity, does it not? Hope you find your peace in the midst of the crazy.

    ICLW

    • arminta Says:

      I know, right! I showed my hubs Mel’s Aunt Jane video about a week ago and he made a joke, too about would it be funny if we got our keeper on the cycle we decided to adopt. Of course, both of us saying it in full on jest.

      Yes, this does wreak havoc on the sanity. Plus, it’s impossible to make plans when you never know what’s going on…

  2. Michelle Says:

    I think looking into adoption either way is a good idea. I looked into it for a bit just so I could get my head around just what was involved, should we ever decide to go that route, just like you’re doing.

    It is hard not to get your hopes up, but when you’ve been in the game so long, it is also easy to put the quick coibash (sp?) on them.

    Best wishes with whichever route ends up getting you to your ultimate goal. 🙂


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