Considering that this is the normal state of things, you may be wondering why I must proclaim it so loudly. It’s less for you and more for my body.
See, we had sex an all time low of twice this cycle. FertilityFriend seems to think one of those times was great timing. I disagree. It’s not unusual for FertilityFriend and I to disagree on the primary thing that I pay her for (i.e. telling me when I ovulated), because she’s a whore and I don’t trust her.
I am feeling quite the tired and nauseous this afternoon. Considering that I take 2,000mg of Met everyday, feeling the nauseous really, truly isn’t THAT out of the ordinary. I mean, it happens. But, my body is all “well, FF says 60% chance and it’s 3pm and I could use a nap and please don’t move too fast, lest I start cookie tossing, so better not have a glass of wine with dinner, because maybe…” I am not falling for FF and my body’s tricks, though. I know what they’re up to. They like seeing me crushed and crying into my diva cup, rather than being resigned and strong when that bitch Flo finally shows her face. (See, I told you FF was a whore.)
So, my mantra today is “I am not pregnant. I am nauseous because, Met fucks with my tummy. I am tired because my sleep schedule is off and I had Big C for three straight days while cooking a huge meal. I have to pee, because I do, so suck it up.” Wash, rinse, repeat. I’ll let you know if it starts working.
For those not keeping count (that’d be everyone): Today is CD31, 13dpo (FF) or 11dpo (me), I have resolved to NO TESTING until Tuesday. Except the left over OPK strips I had in the linen closet, because they don’t count as “testing.” Which all came back negative. And the line is getting lighter. Please repeat after me “I am not pregnant. The facts all point to Met doesn’t like it when I eat butter and sugar (the second and third ingredients on my Thanksgiving menu), so I’m sick from all the leftovers. Take a nap if you’re so damn tired. Not that tired? Do you remember sleeping in your car everyday from the hcg fatigue? If you can’t nap in your own bed, it’s not hcg. I repeat, I AM NOT PREGNANT.”
Yes, I do have those little conversations with myself. Yes, I do refer to myself in the first and second person when having these little self chats. I think crazy IS the droid you’re looking for.
(In completely unrelated news, the sex thing is starting to show evidence of getting better. Reading a new book, improving my own attitude about things, great sex this morning. Why do I feel the need to SO over share on this topic?)