#1 All Time Most Hated Thing for People to Say to Me. “I know God will bless you with children”
How do you know?
Did he tell you?
A year it ago it was a blessing that I didn’t have kids, because I could help with the C’s so much?
So, as you may be able to tell from my grumpy attitude… Oh, yeah, probably not, I’m always grumpy… Anyway. I sent the e-mail to my family. I said: Thanksgiving was about us; we’re parents grieving for our children (5 of whom were due from Nov-Jan); we don’t know what we’re doing for Christmas, but it shouldn’t affect ya’ll. My Mom got it. I knew she would. She called we talked everything’s square.
My aunt on the other hand… Can I say Grrr? I don’t need your permission 😛 Grrrr
This is the response:
I understand completely. I want you to do whatever it takes for you to cope the way you need to cope. I do appreciate hearing what’s on your mind. Thank you for sharing it with us.
You are right that Christmas is for children. That’s what we should all care about the most. I hope we can all be together at Christmas and can have peace and happiness.
I grieved for Blueberry Bean. I didn’t know it would affect me as it did. I know God will bless you with children.
Or to paraphrase: I give you permission to grieve; Christmas is for children, that’s why you should come ’round and be happy; I’m an insane self centered git.
Seriously, her response is she grieved!??!!?!? She was shocked at how much the death of my child affected HER?!?!?!?! Was she waiting for me to comfort her over the loss of MY CHILD, is that why she couldn’t call or write or send flowers or a card?
To borrow from Ruby… Who’s pissed right now?
Then she ends this sugar sappy selfish insanity with “I know God will bless you with children.” Which literally just proves that she doesn’t live in the real world. Who says this to people? (I know people say it…) Especially people with not one, not two but SIX dead babies. Especially to grieving parents who have said the words “We don’t believe that, right now.” How fucking inconsiderate can you get?
OK, rant over. I feel moderately better. No I don’t. But the reason is fodder for a different post.