I’m not really sure what’s going on with me lately. I just don’t have anything to say. I haven’t really been reading either (I’m sorry, I’ll catch up soon, I promise!). I have been busy with the boys and the holidays and I’m a damn liar. I’ve been laying on my ass (and walking with the Wii Fit) and playing Facebook games. OK, it’s a combination of laying on my ass and being busy. But mostly, it’s this sort of apathetic feeling that’s been creeping in.
It’s kind of an “it’s all been done” kind of feeling. Like cycle news isn’t important anymore, because I’ve been cycling for SOO long. It’s not like IVF cycles which are events. It’s just a cycle, with a kick. Life news is same ol, same ol. Everything feels like it’s the second time, and this time it just isn’t interesting.
I don’t understand why this feeling of apathy, either. I don’t have anything to be depressed about. Things are actually going OK. Christmas sucked, but all of the days around it were fine. Things are clearing financially. My car will be paid off in just 3 more payments. If that house would sell, we’d actually be back in good shape financially. Plus, it looks like G’s promotion is getting ready to come through. So, all good things. Maybe that’s why the lack of writing inspiration. Maybe I’m one of those depressed can only write when I’m miserable types? That’s boring, I hope it’s not the case. OK, let’s move on to more good news.
Well, as I mentioned before I did an unmonitored Femara cycle just for shits and giggles (my LEAST favorite phrase, BTW), today is CD 27, or 11 dpo. As of this minute I appear to be pregnant. We all know that with me these things aren’t guaranteed, so I’m not counting any chickens until I’ve got a couple of solid beta’s under my belt, but for now it appears that I’m pregnant. Good news. This would indicate we have the “getting pregnant” part of our infertility issues pretty well under control. That’s like a 75% pregnancy rate for medicated cycles. Now we need to work on staying pregnant. Hopefully the new protocol will help with that.
Please no congratulations. It’s not going to be real for me until I see a heartbeat, and I won’t be able to hope for an actual baby until the third trimester. But it’s good, just not congratulatory good, yet.