It’s a picture of a picture, but I’ve seen worse… I cannot believe how big this baby is, or how developed. With Bean I didn’t really know what to look for at 7 weeks, but being able to clearly see a head and arms and legs (this might be a little too fuzzy, but I promise on the real deal arms and legs are clear, tiny and skinny, but totally there) is a world of difference.
So, I made a “wish list” for things to come of this ultrasound which consisted of:
– A perfect heartbeat (Check)
– Baby measuring spot on (Check)
– Dr. G agree to weekly ultrasounds to quell my anxiety (NO Check)
Nope, Dr. Groll would agree to every two weeks at the most. He actually thinks I might only get two more before he kicks me out to the regular people’s OB. He is already planning to kick me out to the regular people’s OB. Holy shit, this thing might just happen this time!
I know it’s early. I haven’t even passed the mark where I lost Bean. I’m only a little better than half way through the first trimester. There’s still time for bad things to happen. But, right now, just for today, I feel a little invincible. I have a fraction of that “I’m pregnant, therefore I’ll give birth” feeling that regular people get.
In addition to my stunning events of yesterday, I yakked at the Cracker Barrel this morning. We were done eating, and I was rocking Little C outside while waiting for the rest of the peep’s to finish up shopping, when I smelled someone who had been smoking in their car. I instantly gagged and had to run for the restroom. I have thrown up from morning sickness before, but not like this. In that run to the bathroom I felt like a “real pregnant person.” I didn’t have that feeling of being an impostor, or of being pretend pregnant or temporarily pregnant. I just felt pregnant. And it felt good. That’s right, tossing my cookies in a public bathroom (and dropping a two year old onto my husband to do it) felt good.