There is a war currently underway in my house. I want a Pepsi. G wants me to not have a Pepsi.
This may sound quite silly, but when you’ve had as many losses as we have, you start clutching at straws and going to extremes for safety’s sake.
I am all for safety. I have gladly (ok, not gladly exactly, but willingly and without too much bitching) made it almost completely through the entire first trimester of this pregnancy without caffeine. No coffee, no Pepsi, very very limited chocolate, even. All of this, even though experts agree that small amounts of caffeine during pregnancy are safe, for safety’s sake. Obviously, I don’t want to take the chance on endangering my Sprout, especially during the critical growth period of the first trimester. That said I have been craving a Pepsi literally since Christmas. Literally.
I have mentioned this craving to G a few times, to which his response is always “But that has caffeine, you can’t have caffeine, bad Mommy for even thinking of drinking a Pepsi.” At this point I would like to point out a couple of things: 1) We’re talking about a can of cola here, not a line of cocaine and 2) No doctor in his right mind would say that one can of cola poses anything resembling a significant risk to mother or baby. Yes, habitual and excessive caffeine use can contribute to miscarriage, one can of cola will cause nothing but a few minutes bliss. All the same, G has been very opposed to my drinking a can of Pepsi.
I could just sneak one at work. I could drink one in front of him just to piss him off. These are options. But, they’re not good options. Because what I want is for him to trust my judgment as a mother. Clearly, he does not.
So, last night while visiting his family his brother pulled an ice cold Pepsi out of the freezer right in front of me. The very thing I have been coveting for two solid months. He then proceeded to drink it. But, not before noticing the fact that I was eyeing his soda like a starving lioness about to pounce. Not knowing about The War, or My Delicate Condition, he asks “Do you want one? There’s another in the freezer.” I’m frozen. YES I want one, YES, YES, YES now please. But, G decides that this is the perfect chance to tell his fam that I’m not allowed caffeine because I’m pregnant. I never thought something good would come of the Pepsi War, but there it was out in the open, no more hiding. They were quite thrilled and said what great parents we’ll be. Then I got to be included in all the gossip! It was a great night. (Now we have to tell G’s mom, and that will not be a great night, but that’s a story for another time.)
We also came to an agreement. On Friday, when I am officially graduated to the second trimester, G will buy me a Pepsi. Yesterday was a good day. Not as good as Friday (or as good as I expect next Friday to be, mmm Pepsi), but still a very good day.