Yesterday conditions were brewing for a perfect storm. My mother had come over the night before to talk about the house we are vacating. Which my sister wants to move her shit into as we move our stuff out. Yes, really. Does anyone want a sister? I have one for sale. She also didn’t ask about the baby, I had to bring the topic up. Then everything I said/showed her was summarily compared to said sister. Things like “Are the sure your baby’s OK? You can see everything on H’s ultrasound pics.” and “Oh, you’re feeling nauseous still? H has been throwing up day and night, they say she’s having Rosemary’s baby ha ha.” Then Monday also brought news of the GD GD. So, I went to bed a little perturbed. A little “off.”
I woke up a little don’t-speak-to-me-will-rip-your-head-off. It was a hormonal kind of day. I’d have preferred to have stayed home, however, I had meetings and put on my big girl panties and prepped up to attend them. BIG MISTAKE. For it seems my boss, shitty boss that he is, was gearing up to chew me out. Not because my clients are unhappy with my work. Not because I can’t be counted on for helping others and going above and beyond for the client. Not even because I am look a little like I might be napping with my eyes open half the time here lately. No, it’s because my time sheets aren’t being filled in on a timely basis. And, I was three hours short for January. Never mind the huge amount of OT I worked in 2009 which was rewarded with a docked paycheck right after Christmas because I took too much time off (I don’t understand either). And, here’s the thing. I’m all about being able to bill the client. I’m all about collecting funds due for time worked. All about it. I’m also a little behind on the details. I’m not behind since 12/2008, though. We have a very active client who hasn’t been billed since then, though… Explain that to me, me being six weeks behind on my time is “jeopardizing the company” but not billing an active client for over a year (and if there’s one, there’s more than one) that’s not jeopardizing the company at all…
Right so, we start this conversation with him being flat out argumentative and overly “male” about the whole thing. He then proceeds to state several facts incorrectly, about which I correct him. Afterall, this is my time we’re discussing and who would know that better than me? He immediately begins shouting and cursing at me about “my attitude.” He also tells me “if I don’t like it I can hit the door.” It took literally ALL of my willpower not to say “Best idea you’ve ever had, jackass” and walk straight out the door. So, I sat very still and tried very hard not to open my mouth, lest the tears of anger start to flow. The long and short, he moved my start time up by 2 hours, is making me and only me have daily meetings with him and the PM and is trying to force me to take vacation days for time worked because I was working on something that should already be done.
Amazingly, I am back at the office today. Against my inner desire. When I asked G for three reasons not to quit, he told me to quit and that he wanted to kick my sorry boss’s sorry ass. I can’t job hunt four months pregnant. I can’t afford to not have an income right now. I can’t be assured of unemployment if I quit. I just got my credit back up to decent from years of carrying too much debt. I don’t know what to do… The stress is bad for me and Sprout, and I don’t foresee it abating anytime soon. Plus, there is too much other unknown/stress going on right now. Seriously, I want to run away, or go back to bed or something.
So, what do you think peeps? Try to work out a work from home agreement? Take my chances with unemployment given the current hostile working environment? Eat a gallon of ice cream, say fuckit and go back to bed?