Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

A Monday Type List March 29, 2010

OK, in a rush and not too much to say anyway…

– Moving: 85% done. Small stuff left. Was not allowed to lift anything all weekend. Felt like a great lump. But, GO G!!! That man deserves a medal.

– Work: Sucks so much ass. Cannot wait to leave this place.

– House: So much to do. So much money to spend, gah!

– Pregnancy: Nothing new to report. Very busy over the weekend, baby not very active over the weekend. Kind of worried about the effects of moving stress on bebe. Trying not to worry about it. I’m only 16 weeks. Most women don’t feel the first movement until 18-20 weeks. Not feeling doesn’t mean anything right now… Wash, rinse and repeat.

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I Got Out of Bed for This? March 24, 2010

Filed under: Fall Baby,Pregnant,The Seventh Circle of Hell — arminta @ 12:29 pm

Yesterday conditions were brewing for a perfect storm. My mother had come over the night before to talk about the house we are vacating. Which my sister wants to move her shit into as we move our stuff out. Yes, really. Does anyone want a sister? I have one for sale. She also didn’t ask about the baby, I had to bring the topic up. Then everything I said/showed her was summarily compared to said sister. Things like “Are the sure your baby’s OK? You can see everything on H’s ultrasound pics.” and “Oh, you’re feeling nauseous still? H has been throwing up day and night, they say she’s having Rosemary’s baby ha ha.” Then Monday also brought news of the GD GD. So, I went to bed a little perturbed. A little “off.”

I woke up a little don’t-speak-to-me-will-rip-your-head-off. It was a hormonal kind of day. I’d have preferred to have stayed home, however, I had meetings and put on my big girl panties and prepped up to attend them. BIG MISTAKE. For it seems my boss, shitty boss that he is, was gearing up to chew me out. Not because my clients are unhappy with my work. Not because I can’t be counted on for helping others and going above and beyond for the client. Not even because I am look a little like I might be napping with my eyes open half the time here lately. No, it’s because my time sheets aren’t being filled in on a timely basis. And, I was three hours short for January. Never mind the huge amount of OT I worked in 2009 which was rewarded with a docked paycheck right after Christmas because I took too much time off (I don’t understand either). And, here’s the thing. I’m all about being able to bill the client. I’m all about collecting funds due for time worked. All about it. I’m also a little behind on the details. I’m not behind since 12/2008, though. We have a very active client who hasn’t been billed since then, though… Explain that to me, me being six weeks behind on my time is “jeopardizing the company” but not billing an active client for over a year (and if there’s one, there’s more than one) that’s not jeopardizing the company at all…

Right so, we start this conversation with him being flat out argumentative and overly “male” about the whole thing. He then proceeds to state several facts incorrectly, about which I correct him. Afterall, this is my time we’re discussing and who would know that better than me? He immediately begins shouting and cursing at me about “my attitude.” He also tells me “if I don’t like it I can hit the door.” It took literally ALL of my willpower not to say “Best idea you’ve ever had, jackass” and walk straight out the door. So, I sat very still and tried very hard not to open my mouth, lest the tears of anger start to flow. The long and short, he moved my start time up by 2 hours, is making me and only me have daily meetings with him and the PM and is trying to force me to take vacation days for time worked because I was working on something that should already be done.

Amazingly, I am back at the office today. Against my inner desire. When I asked G for three reasons not to quit, he told me to quit and that he wanted to kick my sorry boss’s sorry ass. I can’t job hunt four months pregnant. I can’t afford to not have an income right now. I can’t be assured of unemployment if I quit. I just got my credit back up to decent from years of carrying too much debt. I don’t know what to do… The stress is bad for me and Sprout, and I don’t foresee it abating anytime soon. Plus, there is too much other unknown/stress going on right now. Seriously, I want to run away, or go back to bed or something.

So, what do you think peeps? Try to work out a work from home agreement? Take my chances with unemployment given the current hostile working environment? Eat a gallon of ice cream, say fuckit and go back to bed?

 

The GD GD March 22, 2010

Filed under: Fall Baby,Pregnant,The GD GD — arminta @ 8:38 pm

Today was the first appointment with the perinatologist. He was friendly, disorganized and took a personal phone call during my consult. Color me not impressed. He seemed to know his business, just had a bad “bedside” manner.

OK, first: Baby still going strong. Forgot to ask for heart rate or length measurements, but was told all is looking great. Baby measures within the normal range for 15w3d. Baby started sleeping with back to the wand, but woke up and started wiggling around just as soon as she started poking at him/her.

So, what’s the rub? Let’s see… I have PCOS, my Mom had Gestational Diabetes in at least one pregnancy, diabetes runs rampant in my family and I’m pregnant. His conclusion: GD is in my immediate future, so might as well start treating it now, or monitoring it at least. This means, I get to be poked by a needle FOUR MORE TIMES A DAY!!!!!!!!! Oh but, hooray?

Is this baby worth a needle breaking my skin six times a day? ABSOLUTELY.

Would I trade this baby for a needle-free life? Definitely NOT.

Does that mean that I have to be happy about my needle filled existence? Not so much…

Other than the Diabeetus we have to wait for more records to make it to this doctor. He was asking me about tests I’ve never heard mentioned before. Thanksfully he’s literally right across the hall from Dr. Groll, so all info he wants is like 10 steps outside of his door.

Any words of wisdom for dealing with the GD GD?

 

The Reguar People’s OB March 15, 2010

Filed under: Fall Baby,Pregnant — arminta @ 6:27 pm

So, today was the first appointment with the regular people’s OB. She promptly referred me to a perinatologist. I will be seeing both doctors from the sounds of it. Which is cool with me, because why wouldn’t I want more doctors with scary sounding titles?

In other OB appointment related news. The nurse couldn’t find the heartbeat. She got snatches of it, like I do at home, but the baby wouldn’t stay still long enough to actually get a heart rate. So, because I have a Very-Active-Baby I got an ultrasound. Also, baby is very active. Which would explain feeling the movement so early.

After epic fail on the doppler front, the OB came in, twiddled around in my bits and said I want you to get an ultrasound and see perinatologist. She then left. I assume the twiddling about my bits was a pap smear. Not completely sure. She also ordered that all of my blood be removed, one tiny purple vial at a time. We stopped at six, because blood is necessary for you know, staying alive.

Ultrasound tech was very nice. I got my first abdominal u/s in like 10 years. Baby was moving like crazy. U/S tech almost couldn’t find the heart, but she did with the nifty color flow. Beating 150bpm. P-E-R-F-E-C-T! Then she told me my baby has a big head (bitch!). Also, I THINK I saw schmeckel. Obviously, can’t be sure, was probably umbilical cord. 99% sure it was something entirely else, but I clearly saw two kicking legs and what looked suspiciously like schmeckel between them. It probably wasn’t. But… getting boy’ish feelings about this one.

Overall… It took 2 hours to get half of the information from the regular people’s OB as it took 45 minutes to get from the RE. I so miss the RE’s office. But, not going to complain, I am in the second trimester, with a healthy baby.

 

A Friday Type List March 12, 2010

Filed under: Family,Pregnant — arminta @ 7:48 pm
  • I have a bump! Today was the first day that in all honestly my belly just didn’t look fat, it looked pregnant. With quads, maybe, but whatever, it looks like a bump rather than a lumpy bowl of oatmeal.
  • Also, had lunch with aunt, found out my mother can not be trusted with secrets. Figures.
  • My family is weird and fucked up.
  • Wasabi going down 🙂
  • Wasabi coming back up 😦
  • Saw Alice in Wonderland with Dad and sibs this week. Not a fan. Expected to be a fan. Wanted to be a fan. Fan of Tim Burton, his gorgeous wife (Helena Bonham Carter), Johnny Depp and Alan Rickman (I lurve Alan Rickman’s voice. He even makes Snape sound do-able. Shut up! Snape’s the devil, I don’t give a shit about the whole true to Dumboledore in the end business. Holy fuck, I’m a dork!) Still, not a fan. But maybe it was something to do with the six-year-old sleeping on my lap? No, it was the movie.
  • Going home to snuggle my man 🙂
  • My man 🙂

See how I’m avoiding anything of substance. Yeah, that’s not a defense mechanism or anything. I’m totally not in denial about that fact that I’m very likely going to have a baby in six months (six!) and we don’t know where we’ll be living, or exactly what the plan is or have furniture or a place set aside or so much as a freaking blanket for the baby. I’m definitely not focusing on the small/happy stuff because I’m overwhelmed by the big stuff. I don’t do that. Ever. Just like I don’t blog when I should be working. Also, I’ve never napped when I should have been cleaning. That’s just not me.

In other news: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Protected: Testing 1-2, Testing 1-2

Filed under: Fall Baby,I'm a bitch, here's why,Pregnant — arminta @ 7:32 pm

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Password Protected Posts March 11, 2010

Filed under: Blogging — arminta @ 7:30 pm

Hey Guys,

As we find out things later in the pregnancy (gender related things, name related things, etc…) I’m thinking that their may be times that I won’t want any IRL people to 1) find out here or 2) maybe find out “yet.” There aren’t a lot of IRL people reading, but I’m wanting a back up “just in case.” You never know when people Googling things from your old blog are family trying to find your new blog, etc… And, I really don’t want any friends or Googlers or random possibly RL folks knowing if Sprouts an inney or an outey before my mother does. So, please e-mail me or drop a comment if you would like the password for the protected posts.

K-Thx-Bye