Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

I Got Out of Bed for This? March 24, 2010

Filed under: Fall Baby,Pregnant,The Seventh Circle of Hell — arminta @ 12:29 pm

Yesterday conditions were brewing for a perfect storm. My mother had come over the night before to talk about the house we are vacating. Which my sister wants to move her shit into as we move our stuff out. Yes, really. Does anyone want a sister? I have one for sale. She also didn’t ask about the baby, I had to bring the topic up. Then everything I said/showed her was summarily compared to said sister. Things like “Are the sure your baby’s OK? You can see everything on H’s ultrasound pics.” and “Oh, you’re feeling nauseous still? H has been throwing up day and night, they say she’s having Rosemary’s baby ha ha.” Then Monday also brought news of the GD GD. So, I went to bed a little perturbed. A little “off.”

I woke up a little don’t-speak-to-me-will-rip-your-head-off. It was a hormonal kind of day. I’d have preferred to have stayed home, however, I had meetings and put on my big girl panties and prepped up to attend them. BIG MISTAKE. For it seems my boss, shitty boss that he is, was gearing up to chew me out. Not because my clients are unhappy with my work. Not because I can’t be counted on for helping others and going above and beyond for the client. Not even because I am look a little like I might be napping with my eyes open half the time here lately. No, it’s because my time sheets aren’t being filled in on a timely basis. And, I was three hours short for January. Never mind the huge amount of OT I worked in 2009 which was rewarded with a docked paycheck right after Christmas because I took too much time off (I don’t understand either). And, here’s the thing. I’m all about being able to bill the client. I’m all about collecting funds due for time worked. All about it. I’m also a little behind on the details. I’m not behind since 12/2008, though. We have a very active client who hasn’t been billed since then, though… Explain that to me, me being six weeks behind on my time is “jeopardizing the company” but not billing an active client for over a year (and if there’s one, there’s more than one) that’s not jeopardizing the company at all…

Right so, we start this conversation with him being flat out argumentative and overly “male” about the whole thing. He then proceeds to state several facts incorrectly, about which I correct him. Afterall, this is my time we’re discussing and who would know that better than me? He immediately begins shouting and cursing at me about “my attitude.” He also tells me “if I don’t like it I can hit the door.” It took literally ALL of my willpower not to say “Best idea you’ve ever had, jackass” and walk straight out the door. So, I sat very still and tried very hard not to open my mouth, lest the tears of anger start to flow. The long and short, he moved my start time up by 2 hours, is making me and only me have daily meetings with him and the PM and is trying to force me to take vacation days for time worked because I was working on something that should already be done.

Amazingly, I am back at the office today. Against my inner desire. When I asked G for three reasons not to quit, he told me to quit and that he wanted to kick my sorry boss’s sorry ass. I can’t job hunt four months pregnant. I can’t afford to not have an income right now. I can’t be assured of unemployment if I quit. I just got my credit back up to decent from years of carrying too much debt. I don’t know what to do… The stress is bad for me and Sprout, and I don’t foresee it abating anytime soon. Plus, there is too much other unknown/stress going on right now. Seriously, I want to run away, or go back to bed or something.

So, what do you think peeps? Try to work out a work from home agreement? Take my chances with unemployment given the current hostile working environment? Eat a gallon of ice cream, say fuckit and go back to bed?

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9 Responses to “I Got Out of Bed for This?”

  1. Jenn Says:

    GAH! I hate Jackassy bosses!!! I vote for the icecream… But thats me. : ) Hang in there… the jerk is probably mad just because his wife cut him off and he had to take it out on some one. Hug … hope today goes better. : )

  2. Krystal Says:

    Oh, honey. Why does everyone around you have to be douche bags? Ugh! Want me to punch them? I’ll do it! You know I will!

    I don’t really have any advice, I just want you to know that I’m willing to punch someone for you. lol

    • arminta Says:

      LOL! I can see it now, piss me off, here’s Krystal, my punchin’ machine!!! šŸ™‚

      • Krystal Says:

        It would rock! lol

        In answer to your question on my blog, I AM on metformin. I take 1000mg of the ER variety. I tried the 1500, but it gave me terrible tummy trouble. No fun.

  3. jill Says:

    Oh girl, what a horrible situation šŸ˜¦ Is there an HR department that you can talk to about your boss? He has absolutely no right to treat you like that. Even if you were actually doing bad things at work. I know that very small companies sometimes have no avenue to get help but if it’s a bigger company with HR (or something like it) I really recommend talking to someone.

    Oh and some ice cream sounds like a good idea šŸ™‚

    (and, I’d like to slap some sense into your mom for you – she sounds very inconsiderate)

    • arminta Says:

      The entire company consists 0f 12 people and “HR” is his wife and she asks him what to do in every situation… So, no, there’s nowhere in the company to turn for help.

  4. MEG. Says:

    Holy crap balls, Minta! This post made me so crazy angry for you! I don’t even know where to begin!

    First off, booooooo to your mom. I don’t wanna talk too much crap about her, so I’m just gonna leave it at “booooooo.”

    And OMG, your boss! He’s giving you the redheaded step child treatment for no damned reason. I agree with Jill…..is there ANYONE at work who can be an advocate for you? If you weren’t pregnant, I’d say hit the highway. But, since you are (thank the LORD), I guess just try to tough it out ’til Sprout comes? Do you get maternity leave? If so, milk it, and then bail.

  5. […] time that she chose work over my July 4th party. You know and bunches of other examples in between (like moving me out of a house in order to move my sister into it). So, we get the point, my mother, not one for the whole motherliness. If you got shit going on and […]

  6. […] was up, but… my leave was only six weeks and we’ve been on bad (very bad) terms since March AND he didn’t pay my maternity leave (it was only two weeks pay, but these days that’s a […]


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