Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Hoping for a Girl May 1, 2010

Filed under: Fall Baby,Pregnant — arminta @ 3:12 pm

Yes, I will be most pleased with a living baby of either gender. No, I won’t love a male child any less than a female child. As a matter of fact when it comes to MY preferences, I have none. BUT… recently I find myself wishing more and more often that this baby is a girl for mostly one reason.

  • Circumcision… It scares me. I don’t want to have to deal with it. G is snipped. G wants his sons penis to look like his. I get it. I also get that in order for that to happen, my newborn infant will be hurt and will have an open wound on his darling little winky. At the end of the day if the baby is a boy, the only member of our household with a penis will decide on this issue. But, I don’t really want to deal with it and I really don’t want to put my new, precious, already shell-shocked ball of preshus through any more trauma. Plus, I hear insurance is paying for it less and less and it’s costly.

There’s also the very selfish and stupid thinking of wanting the only grand-girl on my side of the family, but that would be more perk than anything. No it’s the to-snip or not to snip question that’s getting me…

Somebody please tell me it’s not that bad, they don’t hurt for very long and I’m scared over nothing…


13 Responses to “Hoping for a Girl”

  1. I’m a no-ifs-ands-or-buts kinda girl on the circ issue. My husband is snipped, but we discussed it- he agrees with me. It’s not worth it to traumatize and put a child through pain for what is essentially cosmetic reasons.

    There ARE studies that suggest there may be a small benefit to having a circ in regards to HIV and other STI transmission. These studies have all been done in 3rd world countries where condom use is minimal however, and NOT in north america where education and condom use are more widespread.

    As for the pain- anyone who tells you it isn’t traumatic and doesn’t hurt has never had to assist in doing circs. I HAVE. (worked for the only ped who performed them in a 2 hour radius of my area). The only option for preventing pain is to use drugs/freezing agent of some kind. Tylenol is not recommended for babies under 3 months, and so a lot of docs will use a nerve block or some other freezing agent, such as novocaine. Quite frankly, the risks of using these drugs are significantly higher than any of the supposed “risks” of leaving a penis the way it’s supposed to be.

    It’s a personal decision, and not one that can, or should be made lightly. If you feel strongly one way or the other, or your husband is adamant and not open for discussion on the topic, it really is up to the both of you. I hope for both your sakes that the decision you do make is made by both of you, and that it is one you are both comfortable with. If it’s any consolation, even if the circ hurts, the baby will not remember, and if you don’t witness it, you won’t either!

  2. Jenn Says:

    We decided to circ Jack. It was a long and much researched and thought about decision. I am still scared and I know that I can’t be there when it’s done, because I don’t think I’d handle it well.

  3. Krystal Says:

    Let me say this: I have assisted with a MILLION circs. More often than not, that baby sleeps through the whole thing. They are well-numbed, whether with a topical cream an hour beforehand or with a local injection of lidocaine. The nurse will give him a gloved finger or pacifier (if you’re not anti-pacifier) to suck on–maybe with some sugar water on it–and he’ll be just fine. It takes less than half an hour. I clocked it the other night: I brought the baby to the nursery at 8:30 and brought him back to the room at 8:50.

    I have never done the reading for or against, I only know the medical side of it, and the fact is that most people choose to get it done, but that doesn’t make it right. Just know that, bottom line, the pediatrician has done a million of them and the little guy would probably sleep through most of it anyway!

    (I kind of hope for a girl should I ever get pg, too, by the way.)

    • Have you looked up the risks on using (yes, even topical) anesthetic on infants?? Just curious since you’re such an expert.

      • Krystal Says:

        I never claimed to be an expert and I actually hadn’t read your comment previously until just now when I came to reply to you.

        As I said, I only know the experience I’ve had with it at work, and have not done any research about it at all. I would love to read whatever information you’ve based your opinions on, as I like to be well-educated on both sides of issues.

      • The product monograph available on the website for EMLA cream (the most common topical agent used in circumcision) states explicitly that it “should not be applied to the genital mucosa of children or infants due to insufficient data on absorption”. This means, for those not familiar with medical/pharmacological terminology, that the safety of EMLA cream for the use of circumcision has NOT been fully tested, and that the cream, while topical, still allows the drugs present in the cream to enter the bloodstream. This is especially risky for infants suffering from jaundice, as the drugs are metabolized through the liver- the product monograph also states that anyone (including adults) who is suffering from hepatic (liver) impairment (such as a jaundiced baby) should not use the product.

        Again, as far as circumcision goes, it is a PERSONAL choice, and I won’t judge those who choose to have their children undergo the procedure for any reason. I DO however strongly encourage parents to indeed have all the facts.

    • arminta Says:

      Yes, this is definitely a topic requiring much research and consideration. I’m glad for everybody’s input and experience (along with doctors input and additional research) to help form our decision. One of the greatest benefits of the blog community 🙂

  4. Krystal Says:

    Oh, and if you have any questions about it, you know where to find me.

  5. Mrs. Gamgee Says:

    My two cents (and actually my Beloved and I were JUST talking about this ten minutes ago)…

    He’s for it because he’s snipped. He’s seen some of those articles too about the benefit in 3rd world countries…

    I’m against it for one main reason. I remember my nephew’s screams when he peed while he was recovering. If there is no cultural/religious reason, then I say why do it?

  6. arminta Says:

    I see we aren’t the only family hotly debating this issue right now…

  7. arminta Says:

    Got G to agree to discuss with my MALE ob before making any decisions 🙂 Best I’m going to get it seems.

  8. Yo-yo Mama Says:

    We opted for it with our son. As Krystal noted in the one case, they came for him while he was sleeping and was returned to us not long after still asleep. Generous application of vaseline keeps the wound protected from urine/fecal matter and he was never the worse for wear, so to speak. It was healed before we knew it.

    Do discuss it with your pediatrician, which I actually think they bring up during your hospital tour and preregistration where they will have you sign consent or decline.

    Keep in mind that if you know he’ll have several peers that have not been circumcised, he’ll probably never ask about it; on the other hand, if you are surrounded by many friends that have opted for it and you’re going to have these kids in constant contact (school, summer activities, play dates, stay overs), the question and concerns will come up. A circumcism on a 12 year old can be more emotionally and physicaly trying than one on a 12 hr old.

    Just sayin’.

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