Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

A Baby Shower Story June 27, 2010

Filed under: Fall Baby,Pregnant — arminta @ 7:06 pm

Well, after 10 years of trying, 6 lost babies and lots and lots of drama, I finally achieved gestating a baby long enough to justify a baby shower. It was pretty awesome.


G’s Aunt C outdid herself decorating the hall! (That’s Aunt C and Uncle P getting the food ready, and H "helping"… notice the Dreft bottle holding the balloons down!)

The cake had the cutest little marzipan baby on top! Also, the cake was pretty tasty.

I can’t bring myself to eat that little marzipan baby, though.

I had lots of little helpers when it was time to open gifts. (That’s Little C off to the right)

This is an awful photo of me. I swear, I don’t normally look like a circus side show fat lady. Well, maybe I do, but I try not to…

One of my friends send a beautiful embroidered blankie and burp cloths. Yes, that is Baby G’s name on the blankie. That is also Little C’s hand feeling how soft the blankie is.


So, there was cake, and games and presents. It was pretty awesome. And, no one gave me pampers.


Now, I have a lot of washing and organizing to do. And an OB appointment to tell you about. Tomorrow.


The Diaper Store June 22, 2010

Filed under: Fall Baby,Pregnant — arminta @ 1:05 pm

I am planning to cloth diaper.

Please, catch your breath. I promise everything will be alright.

In this day and age very few parents choose to cloth diaper, but I think it’s the right thing. Not because I’m a hippie, tree hugging, planet saving freak. No, I think it’s the right thing to do because it’s cheaper, it’s better for baby and hey if I can do something that’s good for the planet and the baby that’s good, right…

So, back to my original thought… I’m planning to cloth diaper. It turns out that this is a much more complicated decision than it was when my mom was having babies. See when I was a baby it was all prefolds (which were just called “diapers” back then) and plastic pants. This meant a lot of clothes were changed because they were soaked with pee or a poo explosion escaped the pants. Apparently during these ancient times disposable diapers (known as “pampers” back then) were better at containing the mess so that moms (and dads) could go longer without having to change a diaper. So, to recap… 30 years ago the options were prefolds and plastic pants or pampers. Poor people used prefolds, everyone else (except the hippies, and honestly, even some of them) used pampers… or so says my mother.

Now… a magical world of cloth diapering options has opened. There are prefolds and covers (aka Thirsties, Bummis and the like). There are pocket diapers (BumGenius). There are all in ones (GroBaby). And all kinds of hybrids. Additionally, there are sized diapers/covers and one-size fits all models (that come with lots of snaps!). There are plasticy feeling covers and soft feeling covers. There are ENTIRELY TOO MANY OPTIONS!!!!!

As with anything physically touching my baby’s ass I did not want to evaluate these options and spend $300+ without feeling them all for myself. So, I set about finding a diaper store.

Yeah, good luck with that is right! I had to wait for one to OPEN in my area. The store is called samozrejme (which is a Slovak, not Polish, word for “naturally; of course”). Super cool store! I loves it! Not only do they have a great diaper selection, but they have cloth menstrual pads (which I have been using for years, ok, maybe I am a little bit hippie’ish) and Moby Wraps and cool bento style lunch boxes! I could have spent hundreds and hundreds of dollars on Saturday (which probably would have made Allison happy), if I had know some simple things like how big the baby G is going to be! You know, and if I had been sitting on a big ol pile of disposable cash. And, what I will receive for gifts (probably lots of pampers!). Details…

I did end up buying one each of the following: Thirsties Duo Wrap, Thirsties XS and Bum Genius XS diaper covers. I really wanted to buy a Bummis cover, but it had flowers on it and G would not allow it. Apparently no son of his is allowed to wear flowers. The lovely Allison also offered to keep a registry for me! (Which I need to e-mail to her…)

The moral of this story… expect lots of poopy cloth diaper stories in future and if you live within an hour or so of Troy, OH and have hippie tendencies, like me, please check out samozrejme for cool hippie baby care gear.

** I totally am not being paid to promote this store. I just really liked it and it’s part of my cloth diapering experience. **


The First Big Kick June 21, 2010

Filed under: Big C,Fall Baby,Family,Pregnant — arminta @ 11:40 am

I have mentioned the fact that I have a squirmy baby. I have even tried to get my husband to be patient enough to feel said squirmy moving around. This has ended in a lot of complaints of “I don’t feel anything! Are you sure the baby’s moving or do you just have gas?”

Because I’ve had plenty of gas that physically moves my body… and feels like it’s kicking my ass from the inside out. Yeah, I think by now I can kind of tell the difference.

So, there has been frustration. I’m frustrated that he gives up after 20 seconds of waiting and he’s frustrated that I get to feel all of this movement and he doesn’t.

This all changed on Friday.

As I was getting the C’s ready to go swimming (I love swimming), Lil G went a lil crazy. I think he was trying to kick Little C, probably in retaliation for using his house (aka my belly) as a step up to Minta’s face. Lil G launched a massive, belly shaking kick. Which prompted Little C to look at my belly and say “Baby G hit me!”

This drew the attention of G and Big C.

So, G cautiously placed his hand on my belly for the first time in several days and was promptly treated to a hand moving, belly disfiguring kick. I almost said “Oh my, I’ve got gas” but decided not to screw up his first big kick with sarcasm. He was thoroughly freaked out. He and Big C were instantly full of “eww, did you see her belly move?” and “it was like he’s trying to get out” type comments. Little C? Completely nonplussed. He leaned his back against my belly and watched some TV. When I finally asked if he felt Baby G kicking him he said “mmm hmm” and went back to his show.


Broken Hearts June 20, 2010

Filed under: Blueberry Bean,Miscarriage — arminta @ 10:09 am

Yesterday we had a Father’s Day cookout for G and my Dad. We had a lot of errands to run in the morning. We had to buy thank you gifts for Aunt C and MIL for the baby shower next weekend. We had to go to the diaper store (which will get its own post). We had to go food shopping. Lots of errands, little time. This is usually a stressful situation for G, so I let him pick the music (he’s big into country music, I need more variety). He put in a new CD that his brother had recommended.

This song came on:

and we both lost it.

On our way to buy diapers for his brother the truck suddenly seemed so empty, our lives so alone, without our Bean.


Week in Review 27 June 14, 2010

Filed under: Fall Baby,Pregnant — arminta @ 11:02 am

How far along? 27w3d

Maternity clothes? I was feeling good about my stash, but am now feeling I need a couple more pairs of shorts and some more tops. Seriously, I need to be stopped.

Body Oddities? If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis. Just sayin’

Sleep? Oh the hell I miss sleep. Real, restorative, restful sleep. Come back, my love.

Best moment this week? Lil G kicked a notepad off of my belly during a meeting. Good thing, too, because I was dozing off!

Worst moment? Sugar crash. Bad sugar crash. Almost had to go to the hospital sugar crash. Must remember to eat. Words I never have to say, except when growing a whole other person, and actually need to eat.

Movement? My boy like to party all the time, party all time, party all the tiiime. Except when I’m in the pool.

Food cravings? Watermelon… Carmel chicken from The Cheesecake Factory… Ramen Noodles… BD’s Mongolian Grill… Pretty much anything Asian… Pretty much anything and everything. The appetite has returned. For 3 minutes at a time, before disappearing completely again.

Gender? Still a boy…

What I miss? Sushi and sleep and zzzzzzzzzz………

What I look forward to: Baby shower date set for week after Father’s Day. Getting excited. Going to a boutiquey type store to look at cloth diapers (I’m a nerd). Really strongly debating between the Bummi’s and the GroBaby’s. Oh, yeah and SEEING MAH BAYBEE FINALLY. Can you tell I’m a little atwitter!

Milestones: Eyes can open on their own now…

Emotions: All over the place! Really up, then really down, then really apathetic. Mostly I’ve kind of had a nervous jitter going on… like when the Christmas displays first start coming out in October. Christmas is coming. It’s really coming! It’s still far away, but it’s coming!


The Birthing Plan June 11, 2010

Filed under: Fall Baby,Pregnant,The Evacuation Plan — arminta @ 11:08 am

We did the birth center orientation the other night. It was really… real.

I guess even though I’ve thought about “giving the birth” I haven’t REALLY thought about going to the hospital (center is IN the hospital, sweet!), laboring for hours or having bastards with needles poking and prodding my preshus ball of sunshine before he’s a full day old.

Mostly, I’ve just had piddling little fantasies about G rubbing my back whilst I hee-hee-hee haa-haa-haa my way through “contractions” which feel like cramps. Or, my Mom bringing me the perfect temperature washcloth and watermelon chunks on demand while I lay on the couch and say “here comes another one.” I’ve even practiced positions in the hot tub to reach the spot that really hurts on my back now, or to get the most jet action on my ute. Methinks I need to do some more thinking…

You know, about things like:

  • When do we call the people that I do NOT want to see while in agonizing pain (yes, MIL, I do mean YOU)?
  • How do we communicate this plan in advance. How long do I wait before going to the center?
  • Who’s going to park the car?
  • How the fuck am I going to get through all of that pain without liberal use of narcotics?
  • How do I tell my mom to vamoose so G and I can bond for an hour or so with Baby G all by ourselves?
  • Will we even get time all by ourselves, or will there be doctors and nurses sewing up my snatch during my first few minutes with him?
  • What if I don’t feel an instant bond?
  • What if G passes out?
  • How the fuck am I going to get through all of that pain without liberal use of narcotics?
  • Who’s helping my fat ass in and out of the hydrotherapy/birthing tub?
  • What do I wear to labor in?
  • What’s a focus item?
  • I have to choose a pediatrician that practices at my hospital in advance?
  • What did I sign up for?

Obviously, the hospital would like to answer all of my questions plus some for a mere $99.95 usd. I think I’m going to let them!

But all of this has gotten me to thinking beyond the warm and fuzzies and down to the actual brass tax. It got me to realizing that I have to choose what I will wear while giving birth. Blood and goop and grossness will get on those clothes. I guess those kinds of details never really factored into my imaginings of the birthing process. It makes me wonder what other details am I missing?

Please those of you who have given birth or are planning to give birth, share… what was/is your birthing plan? And how did birth compare to it?


The Haps June 7, 2010

So, “vacation” has come and gone and guess what? It ain’t coming back. I’m still pretty bummed about it. Mostly because I was SO looking forward to that last jaunt as us before becoming “US.” But, whatever, I need to get the fuck over it. What else is going on? Glad you asked!

  • Mamaw: Actually showing signs of improvement! Huge shocker. She’s still not out of the woods. But… there are positive signs. I am a giant pussy and have not been to the hospital. Two reasons. 1) I hold my uncle who mistreated her responsible, and he’s there a lot and I won’t be able to not say something (I’m sure you’d have never guessed that from reading this blog) and 2) I’m afraid of getting too involved and the stress it will add. Selfish, I know. But, I’m kind of doing the self preservation thing right now.
  • Hubs: Still has pins sticking out of his hand.  I still have to clean them every other day. He still hates it when I clean them. Apparently, my lack of occupational therapy training makes my cleanings sub-par. Go figure. The incision is healed, though! He is back at work as of today, on light duty. After speaking with a lawyer and discussing it last night, he has decided to take it up the ass on the vacation thing (they have taken his vacation towards his worker’s comp time, bastards) in order to not make waves. He assures me that he has confirmation that this WILL NOT affect his paternity leave. He also has confirmation that he will receive his worker’s comp payments for the 14 days he was off recovering. Well, you know the first 14 days of recovery. He is still recovering. There are pins sicking out of his hand, afterall.
  • Work: On count down! I’m outta here in 86 days. Which is actually closer to 62 working days! On my mother’s advice I will be staying technically employed until after my maternity leave. But, am so looking forward to days with my baby. And, am so grateful for a hubs who wants to be able to provide that opportunity to me and the baby. In the face of the greater things to come, I’m not really worried about the small stuff anymore.
  • Family: My brother had a date this weekend!!! First a job, now a date, I’m so happy I could do backflips! My Dad seems to be doing better with his depression. He is putting himself through nursing school (and thus is broke) so, since G and I can’t take care of the lawn right now, I’ve offered to pay him for the service (he does often talk about starting a handyman business, so this is also encouraging his business). He has spent every penny that I’ve paid him on stuff for Lil G and my sister’s daughter. Every penny.
  • Big C: Was somewhat better and also somewhat worse this weekend. He bit my head off for asking (JOKINGLY) if he needed help with his cake and ice cream at a birthday party (you know, as in, can I eat it for you… he took it as did he need me to feed him, I guess?). He also snapped at me and his brother while he was fishing because Little C wanted to hold a worm and was in his way or something to that effect (mostly what he said was “Little C(eeeeeeeeeeeee) stop it, Minta can’t you make him stop, UGH!” But not an hour later when he wanted someone to time his handstands (the boy is allergic to having both feet on the ground at the same time) he told his mother that she doesn’t do it right and she should do it like Minta. Her response: “Minta’s right there, have her do it if you like her way better.” He did. And he listened to my pointers and he got his longest hold yet (almost 8 seconds!). And when I clapped and celebrated he looked at her and said “Well…” she didn’t get it. I was asleep when they left, but G says he kissed my head. So, he’s giving me whiplash. But, he’s under a lot of stress right now. So, again, patience, consistency, love the shit out of him and hope he comes ’round.
  • Little C: Of the children under 5 at yesterday’s birthday party Little C was…. the BEST BEHAVED!!! This has never happened before. H constantly tried to steal his scooter. She threw a rock at another cousins head and was generally a terror. Little C had one meltdown, and when I asked him what was the matter he said “I want to eat dinner.” So, I got him a plate of food and like magic, sweet boy came back! No fighting, no hitting, no pushing, minimal whining and minimal crying. It was something like a summer miracle. I was so proud. I’m getting all teary just thinking about it!   One more big ol’ plus for the little guy, no accidents! He peed in the pond twice (with permission), but not a drop in his pants!
  • G’s Family: All of my pride and all of the boys’ good behavior did not save me from judgment from G’s family. After all, no matter how good the kids are, I’m still flawed (I let them play too close to the water (the shallow pond with a good 5 feet of 1-2 foot water near the shoreline that was 20 feet from where I was standing… and also one of the children swims like a fish… so really it was Little C that needed a close eye… not that I would let either play unattended near water, hence the me standing nearby), also when Little C was still hungry and back talking I didn’t cow tail to his every demand and even told him that Aunt Minta would not get him more food until he asked nicely (yes, I am evil). So, yeah, I got a few dirty looks and lots of comments about starving children and how much they hoped the boys didn’t drown (this must happen on dry land a lot, cause neither boy was in the water).) I was also judged for having not gained any weight. G’s response to all of this? “Forget them, you see how their kids turned out now their grand-kids are going to be twice as bad, and they’re just jealous because they got fat as pigs when pregnant.” He also said at one point that he didn’t care what his aunts thought, we had the best kids at the party. I love my hubs.
  • The house: My living room has been transformed! It was a maze of boxes surrounding a couch and a chair and now? It’s a living room! Complete with floor space. Don’t get me wrong, I had been chunking away at the boxes little by little. But Saturday morning G got possessed by a nesting bug and ALL of the boxes disappeared! Some of them to the basement, but whatever, they are now organized and not in my living room. I’m so happy I feel like cooking again! Now, to work on getting that portable dishwasher!

OK, all done. (I better be, right? That was like a weeks worth of words!)