Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

The Haps June 7, 2010

So, “vacation” has come and gone and guess what? It ain’t coming back. I’m still pretty bummed about it. Mostly because I was SO looking forward to that last jaunt as us before becoming “US.” But, whatever, I need to get the fuck over it. What else is going on? Glad you asked!

  • Mamaw: Actually showing signs of improvement! Huge shocker. She’s still not out of the woods. But… there are positive signs. I am a giant pussy and have not been to the hospital. Two reasons. 1) I hold my uncle who mistreated her responsible, and he’s there a lot and I won’t be able to not say something (I’m sure you’d have never guessed that from reading this blog) and 2) I’m afraid of getting too involved and the stress it will add. Selfish, I know. But, I’m kind of doing the self preservation thing right now.
  • Hubs: Still has pins sticking out of his hand.  I still have to clean them every other day. He still hates it when I clean them. Apparently, my lack of occupational therapy training makes my cleanings sub-par. Go figure. The incision is healed, though! He is back at work as of today, on light duty. After speaking with a lawyer and discussing it last night, he has decided to take it up the ass on the vacation thing (they have taken his vacation towards his worker’s comp time, bastards) in order to not make waves. He assures me that he has confirmation that this WILL NOT affect his paternity leave. He also has confirmation that he will receive his worker’s comp payments for the 14 days he was off recovering. Well, you know the first 14 days of recovery. He is still recovering. There are pins sicking out of his hand, afterall.
  • Work: On count down! I’m outta here in 86 days. Which is actually closer to 62 working days! On my mother’s advice I will be staying technically employed until after my maternity leave. But, am so looking forward to days with my baby. And, am so grateful for a hubs who wants to be able to provide that opportunity to me and the baby. In the face of the greater things to come, I’m not really worried about the small stuff anymore.
  • Family: My brother had a date this weekend!!! First a job, now a date, I’m so happy I could do backflips! My Dad seems to be doing better with his depression. He is putting himself through nursing school (and thus is broke) so, since G and I can’t take care of the lawn right now, I’ve offered to pay him for the service (he does often talk about starting a handyman business, so this is also encouraging his business). He has spent every penny that I’ve paid him on stuff for Lil G and my sister’s daughter. Every penny.
  • Big C: Was somewhat better and also somewhat worse this weekend. He bit my head off for asking (JOKINGLY) if he needed help with his cake and ice cream at a birthday party (you know, as in, can I eat it for you… he took it as did he need me to feed him, I guess?). He also snapped at me and his brother while he was fishing because Little C wanted to hold a worm and was in his way or something to that effect (mostly what he said was “Little C(eeeeeeeeeeeee) stop it, Minta can’t you make him stop, UGH!” But not an hour later when he wanted someone to time his handstands (the boy is allergic to having both feet on the ground at the same time) he told his mother that she doesn’t do it right and she should do it like Minta. Her response: “Minta’s right there, have her do it if you like her way better.” He did. And he listened to my pointers and he got his longest hold yet (almost 8 seconds!). And when I clapped and celebrated he looked at her and said “Well…” she didn’t get it. I was asleep when they left, but G says he kissed my head. So, he’s giving me whiplash. But, he’s under a lot of stress right now. So, again, patience, consistency, love the shit out of him and hope he comes ’round.
  • Little C: Of the children under 5 at yesterday’s birthday party Little C was…. the BEST BEHAVED!!! This has never happened before. H constantly tried to steal his scooter. She threw a rock at another cousins head and was generally a terror. Little C had one meltdown, and when I asked him what was the matter he said “I want to eat dinner.” So, I got him a plate of food and like magic, sweet boy came back! No fighting, no hitting, no pushing, minimal whining and minimal crying. It was something like a summer miracle. I was so proud. I’m getting all teary just thinking about it!   One more big ol’ plus for the little guy, no accidents! He peed in the pond twice (with permission), but not a drop in his pants!
  • G’s Family: All of my pride and all of the boys’ good behavior did not save me from judgment from G’s family. After all, no matter how good the kids are, I’m still flawed (I let them play too close to the water (the shallow pond with a good 5 feet of 1-2 foot water near the shoreline that was 20 feet from where I was standing… and also one of the children swims like a fish… so really it was Little C that needed a close eye… not that I would let either play unattended near water, hence the me standing nearby), also when Little C was still hungry and back talking I didn’t cow tail to his every demand and even told him that Aunt Minta would not get him more food until he asked nicely (yes, I am evil). So, yeah, I got a few dirty looks and lots of comments about starving children and how much they hoped the boys didn’t drown (this must happen on dry land a lot, cause neither boy was in the water).) I was also judged for having not gained any weight. G’s response to all of this? “Forget them, you see how their kids turned out now their grand-kids are going to be twice as bad, and they’re just jealous because they got fat as pigs when pregnant.” He also said at one point that he didn’t care what his aunts thought, we had the best kids at the party. I love my hubs.
  • The house: My living room has been transformed! It was a maze of boxes surrounding a couch and a chair and now? It’s a living room! Complete with floor space. Don’t get me wrong, I had been chunking away at the boxes little by little. But Saturday morning G got possessed by a nesting bug and ALL of the boxes disappeared! Some of them to the basement, but whatever, they are now organized and not in my living room. I’m so happy I feel like cooking again! Now, to work on getting that portable dishwasher!

OK, all done. (I better be, right? That was like a weeks worth of words!)


3 Responses to “The Haps”

  1. jill Says:

    I’m so sorry you missed your vacation. That completely sucks 😦

    I was very behind in blog reading (just caught up) so I just learned about your husband’s accident. Ugh! His poor hand. I hope he recovers quickly.

    Oh also, I’m happy to hear lil g is doing well 🙂 You definitely deserve to have been acknowledged on mother’s day, even if you weren’t currently pregnant. It is so odd how people treat others who’ve had losses.

  2. That is total balls about the vacation!! And those pins look positively horrific!!!

    I’m glad to hear that Big C seems to be coming around. It can be super hard for older kids to cope with a new “intruder”- we’ve been having quite a few probs lately with my daughter too…

    And definitely good news about Little C- no peepee in the pants is SUPER!!!

    From the sounds of it, things are going not-too-shabby out in your neck of the woods!! Hope things keep going well!!

  3. Mrs. Gamgee Says:

    Hello my friend… just getting caught up here. Big C sounds like he’s going through a rough jealous patch. Hopefully, once Little G is here, and C can experience that you aren’t going to shelve him things will get better.

    Your hubs’ hand looks frightening! I’m glad that workers comp is going to cover at least part of the recovery time. It totally sucks that your vacation went down the tubes.

    And, lastly, (and I mean this in the most respectful way possible) your inlaws can just *&#! themselves. 😉

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