Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

… and Familiarity Breeds Contempt July 24, 2010

Filed under: Big C — arminta @ 11:38 pm

We knew the peace with Big C couldn’t last long, and it didn’t. Today we experienced a little fan/shit collision. Only for once, it wasn’t only directed at me.

Of course this is good and bad. Because, while I was feeling a little sorry for myself that a six year old didn’t like me… Uncle G busts his ass for that kid. I’m really not kidding when I say the situation is more like H and G are his parents. Big C is “G’s boy.” Not biologically, but in the ways that count. (Although, tangent… we did get a comment this morning about how much Big C favors G and how much he must love being outside because he’s so tan! Honestly, people? He’s surely not the first biracial kid they’ve ever encountered…) So, while it’s nice to be able to share the shitty attitude, it really pisses me off when he gives G a hard time, because G does WAY more fun stuff with him.

The bottom line, this kid is spoiled. If he doesn’t get what he wants, when he wants it a string of complaints and insults follows. That’s basically what happened today. We went out for breakfast, but the breakfast place was crowded, so we went to lunch. He was given the choice between a restaurant we all like and one that he loves, G like and I think is OK. He chose his favorite. Which is fine, he was given the choice. Then we had to go return some baby clothes because I just don’t think we’re going to need newborn sized clothes, so we went to Target. I tried on some maternity clothes (more on this to come, but, e-f’ing-gads I really have lost weight!) while the boys looked at toys. They came over for a fashion show (i.e. watch me waddle out in two dresses that were awesome on the rack but just made me look like a well, fat pregnant lady), gave their opinions and were supposed to be heading on to look at something else while I looked at nursing bras. But, when I came out of the changing room, Big C was standing around looking upset.

Turns out he and Uncle G managed to get into a fight while I was changing. The gist of it was C was ready to leave, G told him we had more shopping to do and C said he was never coming to our house again and that we were mean. At this point Uncle G took the toy, told him he wasn’t being good enough to get a reward and continued on to whatever he was going to look at. When I asked Big C if he had apologized he said “No, because it won’t work.” Meaning, he wasn’t apologizing unless he could get his toy. Obviously, Uncle G was angry at his behavior and also hurt. So, he called H and told her C was ready to be picked up.

Honestly, I get spoken to worse than that on a daily basis by this kid. Everyday I experience eye rolling, and “whatever” and a general assortment of disrespect combined with plain ol’ fashioned spoiled self centeredness. Uncle G doesn’t get this kind of treatment, so he took it a bit harder than I do. But, it was also the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. So, I told him he was being a spoiled jerk, and I didn’t care to spend more time than was necessary with him today. Which meant he lost out on going swimming with Uncle G (probably for the whole summer, because G isn’t a swimmer like I am). I also told him that since he doesn’t appreciate the special things we do (like taking him to a restaurant for an after-camp snack 2-3 times a week, and taking him swimming 2-3 times a week), he would be grounded next week after camp. He will come home, he will stay in the yard or in the house, no video games, until his mother picks him up. He will go home with her every night this week (I normally let him stay 1-2 week nights), and he will not be allowed to spend the night next weekend.

Of course, after I laid that down, G asked him what he was thinking and if he had anything to say and he started bawling. But, he didn’t say anything. So, Gar did get in the back seat with him and tell him that he needed to think about his attitude and they would talk about it next week. He actually handled it very well, which I was still too angry to do.

Two steps forward, three steps back…

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One Response to “… and Familiarity Breeds Contempt”

  1. Mrs. Gamgee Says:

    It really sounds like Big C is struggling. I think you both handled the situation in the best possible way. Kids need boundaries and they need to have the law laid down from time to time.

    I hope that his ‘time out’ time this week will offer some opportunities to ease his hurts and yours. I know you certainly don’t need any more stress rght now.


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