Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Baby G is Here!!! August 28, 2010

Filed under: Baby G,Fall Baby,The Evacuation Plan,We're parents? — arminta @ 11:24 pm

I’ll post more details later but wanted to make sure all my girls know that Baby G is here and our little family is doing really well right now. Here’s some highlights:

– Labor was exactly 24 hours

– I ended up with an epidural

– I also ended up with an emergency c-section

– Both were totally worth it for the most gorgeous boy EVER

– Baby G is 7lb 2oz and 20in long

– The boy latches on like a champ. 2 weeks early and a c-section baby and I have sauceresque nips and he has not had any latch issues so far!!! Hoping like hell that trend continues!

– He is sleeping peacefully, has hardly cried and already shit in my hand.

– I am so in love.


Induction August 27, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — arminta @ 6:53 pm

Is underway. Like now. As in I’m currently in a gown, hooked to monitors with cytotek stewing in my biznass. So far the contraction benefit has been nominal, but another dose is coming soon.


Day 26: My Week in Great Detail August 26, 2010

Filed under: Grown Up Slam Books — arminta @ 1:12 pm

Thursday Last: Dicked around on Facebook for entirely too long. Did nothing of value. Stewed over work BS. Pondered over my talent. Got laid. Ate pizza. Laughed in bed. Stole G’s soda, felt bad and refilled it. Wrote a blog post about being a good wife, while stealing hub’s soda.

Friday: Dicked around on Facebook, a lot. Rearranged my farm in Farmville. Rearranged my frontier in Frontierville. Pissed and moaned about being bored. Wrote three, count ’em three blog posts. Went out to dinner with G. Felt sick, came home went to bed.

Saturday: Attended my shower at Mother’s. Saw my Mamaw for the first time in AGES. Got tons of awesome gifts. Ate too much. Went to restaurant and ate too much again!

Sunday: G took Big C fishing, so I sorted through the shower gifts and separated the clothes by size and messed up Baby G’s clean room.

Monday: Laid in bed and pissed and moaned about being bored. I am the suck. Cooked dinner. Watched shitty man shows on History channel. Plotted to remove Rick Harrison’s ability to laugh. Pictured Rick Harrison in a variety of wigs, decided he still looks like this guy:

Tuesday: Has already been given in great detail… To sum up: went to dr, found out my cervix is a whore, had sewage fill 1/4 of my basement, called plumber, plumber was awesome, spoke with lady who cleans up shitty basements, decided she was too expensive, cooked dinner, did NOT get laid and am still whining about it, used breast pump to stimulate oxytocin production, spoke with mother then stuck EPO pills up my cooch

Wednesday: Got up early after long night of tossing and turning, made breakfast for G, laid back down, slept ’til noon, called shitty phone company, paid bills, wrote very long blog post, dicked around on Facebook, wrapped gifts for my sister, made a diaper cake for my sister, ate beanies and weenies for dinner because I’m six on the inside, felt bad for G doing all the work in the basement while I feasted on beanies and weenies.

Today: So far… Dealt with phone guy, cleaned up living room from diaper cake making, wrote this blog post, ate PB&J yum!, rediscovered how much I love 90’s punk especially Blink-182 and Sum 41.


An End is In Sight August 25, 2010

K, I’m  cheater and I’ve decided that even though this is about yesterday… it’s still “my day in great detail” so welcome to both an update AND day 25 of the 30 day blog journal.

So, I had a big day yesterday. I had an appointment with DW, then I got to come home and deal with plumbers, then I got to talk to a restoration company, then I made dinner (got shot down for sex anyway) and then I had to stick a bunch of pills up my cooter. Guess which part was the most fun?!?!?!

The hell? you ask.

Well, let’s start at the beginning. I woke up and took a shower, because you know, when doctors are going to be in your bits, the bits should be clean. While I was in the shower, G went to the basement. Probably to rub it in my face that he’s allowed up and down stairs and I’m not. But, he found a surprise down there… Standing water! Coming back up though the drain hole in the floor, and the old potty that doesn’t work in the corner. Gross!!! Because as we know water coming from those two places isn’t JUST water, it’s dunh, dunh, dunh… sewage. Eww! OK, I didn’t know that, but G kindly explained it to me.

So, he comes back upstairs and tells me not to freak and get my pressure all jacked up, but I need to not ask to be induced, because I need to come home and call plumbers and shit. To which I say, “fuck that, yo’ mama can let in the plumber, shiiit.” ‘Cause I am ghetto fab at 8am. So he’s all, “O-Kay, but I don’t think you fully grasp the situation down there.” But, we had no more time to argue. He had to go to work and I had to go the doctors office.

And, I did. But first, I needed an NST. Apparently, mah baybee knows how to hide his heart in my fat very effectively, because the poor nurse had to hold the doppler the whole time. Unfortunately, she rendered the contraction monitor useless, but I didn’t bitch about it, because he was being very assy and moving on her a lot. It took an hour to get 20 minutes of him on the monitor. It took 10 minutes to get 10 kicks. I tried explaining that 9:30am was playtime, and we’d be better off to do the AFI first, but I am only dumb patient, so I was overruled. After the NST I went over the u/s room for an AFI and his fluid was up to 10 from 8.5. So hunky dorrey there. Also of note, my BP was 113/89.

I was devastated. There was no way with yummy squirmy baby, and improved fluids and damn near normal BP readings that DW was going to induce me now. Motha Flipaship!

But… I headed up the musty old elevators anyway. I called G and told him the news and he was thrilled because “major plumbing emergency” blah, blah, blah… Then I peed in a cup, because that’s what I do at DW’s office. Then a nurse told me I looked like shit. Well, she actually might have said “Oh honey, you look tired” but I heard “Gee whiz, bitch, what’d you do? Sleep in a dumpster?” Then she dipped my pee and took my BP.Which was… 149/103. The fuck? She asked how I was feeling and I told her I was losing my mind in the bed and I was losing my identity and the days were running together, turns out she just wanted to know about headaches and blurred vision. So, I gave her the short story: yes and no.

Then DW came in, looked at my chart and said “let’s have a baby, get nekkid” and I was “oooh, finally somebody wants to do me” but he just wanted to check mt cervix. At this point I feel I should note: I was going to have a baby yesterday if only that bitch cervix would play ball. Obviously the fact that I’m writing that instead of, “look, shiny new baby” means that my cervix is a sell out whore. I don’t know how much G paid her to double cross me, but I’m going to make her pay…

Anyhoo, DW checked the cervix and while I was “a tad” dilated, she was long and firm. Which is kick ass awesome from weeks like 4-34. But she should now be ripening on her own. I think this assumption is based on ladies that are getting a steady supply of prostaglandins, this lady is not. So DW starts thinking out loud (still wrist deep in my snatch, BTW) about our options. I swear he was tickling the baby’s head, whatever he was doing, it hurt. He was saying things like “we need to find a good reason to deliver, but the cervix just isn’t favorable, but the BP is all over the map, but we don’t want to end up doing a c-section.” He then pulled his hand out of my cooch and recommended that I come back on Friday and do another NST and he’d check my cervix again. He also told me to try some techniques to help ripen my cervix, specifically Evening Primrose oil taken orally and poon-erly. As I can’t exactly put the cervix in a paper bag on the counter, like a pear (yes, I envision my cervix as a rock hard pear), I had to come home and google additional ways to ripen it.

I did stop and get the EPO and some new lip balm. Unfortunately, lip balm had lanolin in it and yeah, now my lips itch and the skin is peeling off! Fucking lanolin!

Then I came home and had to call the plumber. The plumber got there in like 40 minutes! Hooray. And he was nice! And he fixed my slow running tub, and, you know, the problem causing the sewage in the basement for only like $300. The plumber kicked ass. Apparently, we had tree roots in the main drain. I don’t know how that’s possible, but, ’tis what he said. He cleaned up his mess and called a lady who specializes in this kind of clean up for me. Again, hooray plumber!

Then I had to call G with an update. He was not so pleased with having a cleanup specialist come by. So, he came up with a Plan B and Plan C and stressed my shit out calling me every few minutes to talk about it. Grrr… Yeah, I did not want to deal with it anymore for another hour until the lady came. Turns out the situation down there was not as bad as I was envisioning and but the restoration chick wants $1,700 up front, and requires a bunch of work after the fact to replace the carpet. So, now, G is going to do the cleanup himself. But, the restoration lady stayed a long time and put on a strong sales pitch.

Then I made dinner when she left. It was OK. G really liked it. So, I mentioned that I did some research on cervix ripening and I need to bathe the cervix in prostaglandins and he happened to have a very good source of prostaglandins and oxytocin. He decided to go shopping instead. Ouch! Shot down.

So, I got out the breast pump for a Plan B. Because you know breast pump, sex, same diff, right?

Then my Mom called to talk about my sisters shower. So I told her how I’d have the cake, diaper cake and my presents etc… delivered Thursday night or Friday morning. Apparently she also is unaware that PIH/Pre-eclampsia are not just for fat people. I had to remind her that what I have used to be called toxemia and she had it with me and she was not this fat, so this is not a direct result of my being too fat to have a baby.

Then G came back from shopping and I proposed getting fresh again… but unfortunately he was not game. Apparently my pregnant ass grosses him out and he’s not interested in actual sex with me. Whatever… I have more to say, but won’t because I’m just ragging because my feelings are hurt.

Deciding that I still needed to get some prostaglandins on my cervix I stuck three Evening Primrose Oil pills up my pillbox and went to bed.


Where I Live August 24, 2010

Filed under: Grown Up Slam Books — arminta @ 10:10 pm

I’m thinking posting my address my be a bad thing on this one… Sooo, let me show me show you my home:

Here is the backyard as seen from the patio (yes, that is a six year old shooting a gun… at a target in a wooded area… he’s supervised…)

My wicked messy dining room… Why yes that is Little C’s car seat in the floor. Or as Emma refers to it “Emma’s new bed.” Do you see the giant bottle of tequila on the table? It was a shower gift. I nearly cried. It is obscene how much I love tequila.

I redid the kitchen and dining rooms myself about five years ago. I laid the floor, refinished the cabinets and removed the paneling and painted. I’m still rather impressed with myself when I look at the cabinets.

Here is the Baby G’s crib, which is in his room that is a mess. I have totes full of clothes EVERYWHERE.

But the books and some toys are on a bookshelf. The bassinet will move around (hence the wheels) once he’s here.

My TINY ass bathroom. Seriously, have you ever seen such a small bathroom? or such a cool vinyl shower curtain? I didn’t think so!

My living room, aka rest hq. Please note the haphazard stacking of shit on the bookshelf and also the cup on the floor. I am loving the curtains, though.

Things we have learned about me:

  • My bedroom is too messy to post a picture of, and I am too tired to make my bed.
  • I am on a big blue and brown kick, as evidenced by the bathroom and living room.
  • My baby’s room still does not have curtains. Mother… the Baby G needs curtains…

The Rest Continues August 23, 2010

Filed under: Fall Baby,Pregnant,The Blah,The Evacuation Plan — arminta @ 1:28 pm


That is how I’m feeling right now. I haven’t been off of my ass all day, and yet, I’m yawning. G is being very super supportive, but I am beginning to lose my mind. I have never gone so long without an agenda. Right now I’m in limbo. I’m living in this gray area between two lives, and I’m not allowed to do anything!

I’m sure once Baby G is here I’ll be wishing for one more day of rest to stock up for the long nights and endless crying, but right now it feels so pointless. I would be fine with being home if I could do stuff (like: wash diapers, clean, cook dinner and/or run up to the diaper store for more covers). But as it is I’m laying about, too bored to watch TV, nothing interesting to blog about and unable to do anything to prepare.

I think I’m going to ask DW to induce tomorrow, even if he’s cool with putting it off another week. I don’t see the point in waiting until I’m so sick that it starts affecting Baby G and the longer we wait the more likely it is I’ll need a C-section because I’ll be too ill to handle the rigors of vaginal birth. Plus… I’m just done. All I do is worry. Is he OK, am I OK, are things going to be OK when he’s out here?

I should shut up. No one wants to here the poor pregnant infertile moaning about being pregnant. I’m just very worried, and feel like it’s finally better for him to be out than in.


Day 23: A Youtube Video

Filed under: Grown Up Slam Books — arminta @ 1:17 pm

I only utilize YouTube for free old movies (watched the Twilight Zone on there just last night) or to listen to music/watch videos as there does not appear to be a TV channel for that anymore…

The boys (meaning C’s and G) are addicted to YouTube, though. They think of all kinds of stuff to look up. They watch animal attacks and Bear Grylls clips and Spiderman fighting “insert super hero here” and monkey bites baby and baby bites monkey. Seriously, they watch all kinds of stuff on the YouTube. Uncle G loves to play YouTube DJ and the boys love to lay in the bed and watch whatever he comes up with. Lately I’ve been hearing a whole lot of these two coming from the YouTube:


They are also big fans of a monkey that pees in its own mouth and a shark attack one that I can’t find.