Last night was our first birthing class. It went really well. We were earlier than most of the other couples (which is kind of rare for us). We were a bit nervous and all of the other couples were younger than us. Some of them were a lot younger. Most were around 25’ish.
So, the leader started with some basic info about how we should be taking 3-5 questions to each OB appointment and how we should be eating 75-100 grams of protein a day (which gained me auto-glares from G, until I reminded him that I get nearly that much protein in milk alone everyday) and how we should be drinking plenty of water (again with the glares, and again with my reminding him that I drink about half a gallon of water and half a gallon of milk everyday which is well within my liquid quota). After she moved off of nutrition she moved on to signs for when to call your doctor.
And then things got hairy.
She asked us to start saying reasons we should call our OB. You know: gush/trickle of fluid, bright red bleeding, cramping, back pain that comes and goes, hip pain that comes and goes, thigh pain that comes and goes (apparently these lucky ladies don’t get the knee to boobs cramps that some of us are blessed cursed with), excessive swelling, headache that isn’t made better with Tylenol and rest, visual disturbances. You know, any signs of pre-ecclampsia, hypertension or pre-term labor. G immediately recognized my little episodes amongst the reasons to call the doctor. And became pissed. Not at me, but at the two doctors who have essentially been blowing me off for a month when I tell them “yeah in the last week I felt pretty acute hypertension symptoms when I wasn’t sitting on my ass, so I been sitting on my ass a lot.” He is now decided to call the OB immediately on my next episode.
He actually wanted to leave the class to take me up to L&D right then. But, I had to remind him there was nothing wrong with me right then…
So, then we all went to go pee.
Then we watched a video. A very graphic video. Mind you, I was prepared. I have been watching hypnobirthing video’s. G has *ahem* not. He was a little freaked by the level of stretch one cooter could achieve. At crowning the voice over chic said “crowning may cause feelings of stretching or burning in the birthing mother” to which I said “no, shit” and G giggled. Because we’re the bad kids.
Then she turned it off when the placenta was coming 😦 Nobody else wanted to see it. I personally am very interested in the magical disposable organ.
Next week we sit on bean bag chairs and get touchy feely. Homework is to bring a “massage tool” to class. I don’t think a vibrator counts.