Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Week in Review 35 August 6, 2010

Filed under: Fall Baby,Pregnant — arminta @ 11:48 am

How far along? 35w0d

Maternity clothes? No change in this department. Have decided am too cheap to buy more, so am just doing more laundry.

Body Oddities? My legs can hold like 58 pounds of water each.

Sleep? I don’t want to talk about it, it’s pissing me off.

Best moment this week? Work baby shower! The generosity of my work friends is overwhelming.

Worst moment? Having a high BP episode and the doc not calling back and being scared for me and the baby. Honestly was afraid I might die and not get to be his mama.

Movement? Slowing down. He still moves, just not as much.

Food cravings? Chocolate milk? Nothing. I don’t like food anymore.

Rings? With the new hand/face edema being constant, the ring is off

Intense Dreams? I had one the other night where I was throwing ice at my sister at a sale which was set up as an entrance tent to a baseball game. You could say they are nonsense at this point.

Medical Concerns? High BP, whether DW is concerned or not!

What I miss? Feeling sexy. Having anyone want me. Not feeling like a fat, lazy, ugly bump on a log with overly long pubic hair (gah I hate pubic hair) and a big ass flap of loose skin that looks like a FUPA with bad camel toe hanging off of my belly. Yeah, miserable is kind of how I’m feeling right now.

What I look forward to: Don’t get mad at me… Not being pregnant anymore. I want the baby, but I also want to just not be pregnant. I honestly hope everyone reading this gets to experience this level of misery for a few days, before swiftly being delivered into the land of having the baby.

Emotional State? Grumpy and pissy. I have no good reason to be grumpy, or pissy. Yes, I’m uncomfortable, yes, I’m tired. But… I have a husband you loves me, and takes care of me and takes care of our home and does all of the stuff I’m totally slacking on right now. I have nephews who are too awesome for words. I have a high paying, high demand job that I could come back to after Baby G is born if I want to (I don’t, but have the option to do contract work from home anyway). Oh, and my infertile ass is getting ready to have a baby after 10 years of trying and six losses, I am really going to have a baby. A living child. And my emotional state is? Ecstatic? No. Grumpy, pissy and scared to fucking death. Don’t judge me, I hope you get to feel this, too. I mean, I am happy. I’m just also those other things and they combined with the physical discomforts are overshadowing everything else right now. Am sure mood shall instantly improve upon giving the birth.


6 Responses to “Week in Review 35”

  1. OMFG- you describe how I felt those last few weeks PERFECTLY!! I just kept thinking, once this baby is out and safe I will feel better. Once I know baby is healthy and alive and I can take care of them, I will stop being so grumpy and pissy. Once I am comfortable again, I will be my normal happy self!

    Well, I AM a lot more happy but I’m still paranoid as shit and scared to fucking death. I think you just become acclimatized to it as time goes on. I barely notice how scared I am with my oldest anymore. (even though I still am) And um- yeah, end of pregnancy is HELL!!! I don’t care WHO you are- it is hot, achy, uncomfortable and nasty. It’s ok to bitch and be cranky- I remember VIVIDLY how fucking AWFUL it feels at the end!!! But you’re almost there!! And doing awesome. I can hardly wait until baby G is here!!

  2. jenn Says:

    I think there comes a time when the happy pregnant fog wears off and you just feel like crap… Am there too. sexy= not so much… tired = hell yeah… crapy feeling all the time= yup got that… not to much longer… then we get cute wiggley babies to hold. šŸ™‚ hang in there friend.

  3. Mrs. Gamgee Says:

    I’m 11 weeks behind you, and I feel a lot of the same things… super unsexy? Check! Beyond tired? Check! Cranky? Abso-smurfly! I hope the light at the end of the tunnel gives you some hope my friend! (I’m living by counting the days to mat leave)

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