Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Back to the Regularly Scheduled Whining August 14, 2010

Filed under: Family,The Seventh Circle of Hell — arminta @ 11:38 pm

So, after getting all of that stuff done this morning, super hubs washed a bunch of laundry and cleaned a used double stroller (that my mother offered to pay me back for, and didn’t) that I scored at a yard sale for $30 and basically kicked ass. Go G.

And then… my sister called. She called to find out the likelihood that I will be induced next week. Here’s a recap:

  • Sister: How likely is it really that you’ll be induced next week?
  • Me: I’m pretty sure that Dr. W is inducing me next Wednesday. He said he was doing tests to see if we could wait another week. That’s all I know. Why?
  • Sister: Well, Mom wanted me to call and find out, because if you have him on Wed/Thu/Fri you may not even be home from the hospital in time for your shower on Sat. So, she wanted me to call you and see if you think we should move it now, or wait until you hear more from the doctor…
  • Me: Whatever you think, I won’t know anything for sure until next Wednesday. I’d like to wait until Mon anyway, because I’d rather he be term, but will do whatever he says. My plan is to be ready on Wed.
  • Sister: Oh, OK, because Aunt Con is going to be out of town this weekend… Mom just called and asked if I had sent her invite, yet and I told her that I hadn’t and she told me that she’s going out of town.
  • Me: Well, again, whatever you guys think, you’re the ones planning this thing.

I would say unbelievable, but it’s not. It’s in fact very believable. I should have seen this coming. There were so many signs that in fact my mother would not be throwing me a shower, that I’m a moron for not seeing it sooner. Starting with the fact that my EDD was/is 9/10 and shower was sched for 8/21. Just three weeks prior. Obviously, a last minute deal. When asked when I thought was a good time, I said “early July.” We see how that went.

My issues here are:

  • It’s a little late to be canceling a party, unless, you know, no one knew about it. Which seems to be the case, as G’s Aunt C also has not received an invite. So it may just be me (and my Mamaw) being disappointed.
  • I specifically scheduled sister’s shower to be AFTER mine (a full 5 weeks prior to her EDD, which is later than I’d have liked). Now I’m in a conundrum there.
  • If this party goes forward & I have the baby on say Thu, I’ll either have to leave my less than one week old newborn home with G to attend the shower, or  I’ll have to take him. Neither is ideal. I truly am NOT comfortable with taking a two day old baby to a party with lots of people who are going to want to pass him around and hold him and breath their germs in his face.
  • If this party does not go forward, my Mamaw (the one who had a stroke and is now in a nursing home with severely limited mobility and who I can’t visit because compromised immune systems + nursing homes = disaster) will be devastated. Apparently, my mother has geeked her head full of ideas of getting a day pass and bringing her to the party. According to my mother she is “living” for this party. Here’s the thing… as much as I’d like to see her and I know she’d like to be there… I’m really not that keen on the responsibility involved with getting her out for a day. Nor, am I keen on having to take her back. Nor, am I keen on having someone who is potentially exposed to/a carrier for MRSA and/or pneumonia so near to me or my baby in the next couple of weeks. That sounds cold, but seriously, I cannot chance the Baby G getting MRSA or pneumonia.

This is a no win situation. In order to absolve herself of any guilt in the double loss my mother has played it so that my sister and I make the decision and she is just following my wishes. Of course, in order to have been following my wishes she’d have 1) worked with Aunt C to make one big shower or 2) scheduled hers in EARLY JULY. What the fuck ever. No way to win. And, I’ll sound like an ungrateful bitch all the way around.

Of course, she’d have to call me in order for me to sound like anything to her. That’s right. Upon finding out her daughter has dangerously high blood pressure, is on restricted activity at home and will be induced my mother blew me off then didn’t call for four straight days. Then had my sister call to get me to say cancel the shower, so I could be the bad guy. What the fuck?

In other news, my sister can do anything I can do. On Friday she talked her nurse practitioner into writing her off of work a full six weeks before her due date because her feet are puffy. No, her pressure is fine. No protein in her urine. No spells when walking too long. Just plain ol’ normal puffy feet. But, since I was off of work, she needed to be off of work.

Except… I’m NOT REALLY OFF OF WORK. I’ve been working all week, just from home. We don’t have short term disability. When I leave, I’m gone and the paycheck stops. I know I’ve mentioned that there were some projects still in process that I wanted to finalize because I feel like it’s the right ting to do. Well, my boss (the other passive aggressive in my life) decided to withhold my paycheck because “he didn’t hear from me” on Friday and my consulting time for the previous week wasn’t completely entered. Mind you, I sent him no less than 5 e-mails on Friday, so how he “hadn’t heard from me” is beyond me.  I’m pretty sure that withholding a paycheck is illegal, unless I owe the company money or property, but seeings how I’m getting ready to have a baby any second I just don’t feel up to fighting him right now. Game playing bastard.

OK, I’ll quit bitching now. Not because I’m truly done, but I am so tired. G’night everybody!

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2 Responses to “Back to the Regularly Scheduled Whining”

  1. Mrs. Gamgee Says:

    I would love to throw you a shower (when Little G is a month old), just to take all this aggravation away from you… Family sucks sometimes!

    And really, your boss needs to get his head out of his ass!

    Hang in there!


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