I am still working on the birth story and first few days. It’s hard. Partially because remembering those times is like remembering high school. The days before him seem SO far away, even though it’s been less than a week. Also, though, remembering L&D and the time he was sick (that’s right WAS) is hard because I had to change A LOT of my plan for birth and after.
We are home now and he actually slept in his bassinet at my bedside last night. Daddy G helped a lot at the 2am waking so I could rest. I finally got sleep. That was nice.I felt really bad last night because a nurse duped me into taking a whooping cough vaccine!
Baby G’s jaundice is completely gone. Which is AWESOME. Turns out that my having a c-section was a good thing, because had I delivered vaginally I would not have been able to stay at the hospital with him during his photo therapy. Also, I wouldn’t have been forced to place him on a schedule and seen how doable that is, even for a newborn. His photo therapy worked perfectly. He went from “very high risk” and being pumpkin orange to very low risk and back to normal in just 24 hours.
Part of the fast improvement was due to my compromising on exclusive breastfeeding. My baby was sick and dehydrated. He needed volume more than nutrition to help move that bilirubin out. So… I pumped. But, my milk was not in yet. So… I gave him formula. My lactation consultant (who is AWESOME, by the way) helped me. He was so sick and lethargic that I had to finger feed him. I do not wish that experience on anyone. But… he got 17cc’s down. Then he got 20cc’s down. Then, my milk came in. I pumped every cc out that I could get and he was able to switch to mostly breast milk. I spent all day Tuesday crying over him being in the light bed and the formula situation.
But, I no longer feel bad about the feeding situation. I have decided not to continue trying to force him to latch to my giant, flat, pancakey nipples and to pump exclusively. If something comes up and I have to supplement with formula… I will supplement with formula. It’s not worth the stress to fight with getting him to latch to boobs that just weren’t made for breastfeeding. And, while I think my milk is what’s best for him, when he’s hungry he needs food. If we don’t have my milk available, he’ll get the food that is available. (Thankfully, Similac has graciously given me a shit-ton of free formula to sway me to the dark side…) There is no reason for babies to starve in this day and age over something as silly as bad boobs.
I’m ready to go home now.
That said… I produce milk like a fucking dairy cow. I got 2.5 oz out this morning! That’s like 40cc per boob! Which is enough to feed twins if I do it often enough. So, the plan for today? Pump, snuggle, pump, sleep, pump, snuggle, pump, sleep!
More things about being home… long skinny babies are hard to dress. He is 6.5 pounds (newborn) but 20 inches (0-3 mos) so none of his clothes fit. Also, bassinets are colder than Mommy, one piece sleepers are good. I need more. Also, boy babies can pee into their own eyes WITH A DIAPER ON. Putting him down is HARD. I was pretty happy to have to change his bassi sheets so many times last night (because it meant he was no longer dehydrated), but I can see that getting old fast.
Things I want to remember… he is so good. He hardly cries or fusses. If he does, it usually means he’s hungry. He slept like a champ once we got his belly full and turned on his rain forest soother. I wish the rain forest soother had a continuous mode. I had to push the button in my sleep because he would stir every time it stopped. His first night at home went really well.
I love him so much.