Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

I am the Bigger Woman October 2, 2010

Filed under: We're parents? — arminta @ 12:22 am

both literally and figuratively. HA!

To what do I reference? The MIL, of course.

You will all recall that my MIL is a real peach. By peach I mean, of course, a crazy know it all who has an opinion on exactly how you should live your life. No, her life isn’t perfect… interesting she should think she’s an expert on life… hmm. Right, then, in addition to these fine qualities, she’s quite fond of talking a lot of shit about me.

Despite all of that and all of our history, I am allowing her into my home (when G is home) to see the baby. (Remember what I said about my being the bigger person?) By “the baby” what I mean is “MY” baby. I have even been civil to the bitch. Regardless of the fact that she has yet to address (read: APOLOGIZE for) any of our issues. But… I understand that my husband values his wife and son over anyone else. I also understand that he wants that ideal relationship with his mother and hopes the (MY) baby will help create that. Because of this, I am willing to allow that peach of a woman into my home and be civil to her while she’s here. I don’t answer the phone when she calls. I don’t let her here when he’s not here. But, I allow her to harass my son, in my home, because it makes my husband happy.

The result?

– She has literally placed her hands in the way of my changing a diaper more than once. She will get stuck with a pin if it happens again. (FYI… I used snappi’s, but will reach for a pin if necessary!)

– She told on me to Gar when Baby G’s ass was a little red (from using one of the heavily perfumed wipes that she brought) and I didn’t put vaseline on it (because I had JUST put vaseline on it 5 min prior). Thankfully Gar totally had my back.

– She has made pretty much continual negative comments regarding breast feeding. My favorites:

  • Don’t you need to sterilize those things (meaning my breasts) before you stick them in his mouth?
  • (As I have a cup propped under a leaking breast as he is nursing on the other side… also not 10 minutes after she commented on how big he’s getting.) Are you sure your making enough milk? He seems awfully hungry all the time. (Can anyone say cluster feeding…)

– Despite the fact that EVERYONE who has seen this baby and G has commented that he looks like G, especially his eyes (which are shaped like G’s, but appear to be getting my color!) she has stated over and over that she doesn’t see G in him and he looks like various members of my family. I swear to you if she questions my child’s paternity, I will smack her. I will.

So, yeah, things are not going so smoothly in MIL land. Not that I expected them to. I guess my ass is mostly chaffed because she doesn’t have anything nice to say to or about me (she has not once complimented me as a mother, not ONCE). Not that I really expected her to, but obviously, it’s important for new mothers to hear that they are doing a good job and all I get from her is second guessing and lectures about what she would do.

Which would be fine… if it hasn’t started leaking into my husband second guessing half of what I do. He’s asking the baby’s temp several times a day (btw… I’m not a big fan of anally probing my newborn just for the hell of it) and if “I’m sure” about a lot of shit. I can’t help but to feel that this is motivated by doubts placed by his mother. Grrr… that woman!

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2 Responses to “I am the Bigger Woman”

  1. Krystal Says:

    ugh. No thanks. Sorry, Minta!

  2. jenn Says:

    MIL’s SUCK! … well at least mine does. I don’t know why the feel they need to be judgemental and rude. You are WAY nicer then me… I avoid that hell beastat all costs. This weekend I was so glad to have a drama free weekend. She doesn’t want anything to do with Jack unless there is something in it for her, or if she gets to look like grandmother of the year. In reality, she’s only seen Jack 5 times since we have been home from the hospital, and I’m happy about that… not so happy it hurts Hub though.


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