So, I don’t post much of late. I’ve explained other reasons before (i.e. amlazywhore), but there is another reason… I am so happy. I am bursting with happiness. I love the shit out of being a mommy. There is literally nothing I’d rather be doing more than taking care of my G’s and I can barely remember life before (even though there’s 30 years of before and only 40 days of after). This is the best.
Sure, I’ve had my less than best moments (which I’ve written about) and I do miss getting 3+ contiguous hours of sleep on the regular. But… I wouldn’t trade one minute with him for an hour of sleep. I wouldn’t trade a minute with him for all the disposable cash back. I wouldn’t trade my time with my baby for anything. I am so, so in love.
And that is the problem. Because so many of you are still struggling. So many of my friends (and I do consider you to be my friends) are still in the trenches. So many girls that I care about are longing for what I have. I feel like I’m rubbing it in your faces to talk about how absolutely wonderful it is to finally be here. I remember being there, having friends with babies and me mourning miscarriages and failed cycles and feeling like ass for hating them. I remember seething with envy over photo’s and cute anecdotes about smiling babies.
I can’t do that to you.
As much as I want to give you hope and tell you all about how awesome it is to finally hold that baby and be over that hill, I don’t want to rub it in. I don’t want to hurt you. So, I’m conflicted. So, I’m silent.
Tell me, what would you prefer?
– Posts clearly labeled “baby happiness mentioned here.”
– Infertility/loss posts here and baby posts somewhere else.
– Something else (keep everything here or please feel free to make a suggestion).