Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Survivor’s Guilt October 20, 2010

Filed under: Blogging,Infertility — arminta @ 2:34 pm

So, I don’t post much of late. I’ve explained other reasons before (i.e. amlazywhore), but there is another reason… I am so happy. I am bursting with happiness. I love the shit out of being a mommy. There is literally nothing I’d rather be doing more than taking care of my G’s and I can barely remember life before (even though there’s 30 years of before and only 40 days of after). This is the best.


Sure, I’ve had my less than best moments (which I’ve written about) and I do miss getting 3+ contiguous hours of sleep on the regular. But… I wouldn’t trade one minute with him for an hour of sleep. I wouldn’t trade a minute with him for all the disposable cash back. I wouldn’t trade my time with my baby for anything. I am so, so in love.


And that is the problem. Because so many of you are still struggling. So many of my friends (and I do consider you to be my friends) are still in the trenches. So many girls that I care about are longing for what I have. I feel like I’m rubbing it in your faces to talk about how absolutely wonderful it is to finally be here. I remember being there, having friends with babies and me mourning miscarriages and failed cycles and feeling like ass for hating them. I remember seething with envy over photo’s and cute anecdotes about smiling babies.


I can’t do that to you.


As much as I want to give you hope and tell you all about how awesome it is to finally hold that baby and be over that hill, I don’t want to rub it in. I don’t want to hurt you. So, I’m conflicted. So, I’m silent.


Tell me, what would you prefer?

– Posts clearly labeled “baby happiness mentioned here.”

– Infertility/loss posts here and baby posts somewhere else.

– Something else (keep everything here or please feel free to make a suggestion).


4 Responses to “Survivor’s Guilt”

  1. Krystal Says:

    I honestly feel fine how it is now. I have zero hate-y feelings for you and your happiness, simply because I know where you’ve been. I love reading about baby G and seeing pictures. My vote is keep it the same. Although, if you chose to start a different blog, I’d probably follow it, too! lol

  2. Mrs. Gamgee Says:

    If it will make you feel better, then by all means, give a disclaimer on Baby G posts. But really, this is your blog, and you should be able write about whatever is going on in your world. If you do start a second blog, I’ll follow both!

  3. jenn Says:

    I sort of have survuvers guilt too… but then I remember that my blog is just that… MY blog. I started to document things in my life… and I’m still writing it to document Jack’s life. I know that some people have stopped reading it. But as harsh as this might sound… I dont write it for them… I do it for me… and now so Jack can remember things. If it makes you feel better then go ahead and put a warning. But at the end of the day your blog is Your little space. 🙂

  4. jill Says:

    I’m way late in commenting but thought I’d chime in. I just expect to hear about babies, it comes with the territory. I’d never get mad at a blogger for posting about her/his life without “warning” me first. Of course sometimes it’s hard to read but I open the post of a blogger with a new baby knowing that the post might very well mention the baby. I don’t think you need to do anything differently. 🙂

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