Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

A Tale of Two Poopies January 27, 2011

Filed under: Baby G — arminta @ 2:58 pm

I must warn you, if you are all squeemish about poo stories, this is not the post for you. Today has been a shitty day. Literally. But, for real.

It all started when Ladybug showed up with a diaper full of nasty. Which I joked about being my least favorite thing about The Bug, her ability to shame grown men with her foul bowel movements. But, I cleaned her up and all was well.

I nursed Lil G, then they both played together in the jungle while I got Ladybug’s breakfast made. I made homemade applesauce for them both to try because they ate all of my applesauce.

Lil G: Good job my little padawan, my plan is coming together…

Little did I know the dangers of placing Lil G in his Bumbo seat this morning.

I started Ladybug on some oats while the applesauce cooled. (By the way, one apple makes about 5 jars worth of baby applesauce.)

She was not impressed. Mostly because I forgot the apples and cinnamon. Lil G also had some oats. He thought they were excellent, for him to poop on! Or, that’s what I thought he was doing, but it was just tooters. So, I went and got Ladybug’s apples and cinnamon, because I’m baby whipped like that. She ate much better after that. The homemade applesauce was a hit. For Lil G to poop on.

No, really this time. His last proper deuce was dropped on Monday, so when he made the face I knew it was “the one.” I took him to get changed right away, lest it spread (ha!). I left Ladybug in her chair thinking we’d be back in just a minute or three. I knew we were in trouble when I saw the poo coming through his clothes, so I gabbed a blanket to change him on.

There are not words to describe the massive orange pool of gross I found in my sons diaper, clothing and hair (yes, the shape of the bumbo shot it straight up his back and into his hair). The dilemma I faced first was how to get his undershirt off without spreading the poosplosion further. I gave this up as impossible pretty much immediately and went for speed instead. The poop was coming out arm and neck holes, there was no clean spot to grab. I was now poopy, too.

Obviously, this job was too big for wipes and washcloths alone. We headed straight to the tub, where I sprayed the baby down with the hand held shower head. By this time poo had gotten on his jaws/cheeks, ears, hands, and everywhere else. He laughed, and stamped in his poopy water puddle. Then I ran him a proper bath, and washed him up with a washcloth.

The clean up scene, please note look of terror on whale’s face

Were I a better blogger and worse mother I’d’ve gotten the camera right away and snaped pics of my feces covered baby. As it is, I have only the destroyed onsie to show you:

I was too disgusted to get a pic of the inside. Suffice it to say it is completely covered on the inside. What you see is just where it has soaked though.

Once clean, I re-diapered the boy and went to check on poor Ladybug, who has been waiting quietly in her chair. Quiet is not Ladybug’s style, unless…

Whoops! Nanny fail…

I moved her immediately to the bed and loved on her until she was peacefully back asleep.

Then I dressed the boy.

Gee whiz, Mother, don’t you read my blog? I just wore this the other day!

You never know what life with babies is going to bring… Even when it’s nasty, it’s fun.


3 Responses to “A Tale of Two Poopies”

  1. Mrs. Gamgee Says:

    LOL! I love the saga of the poops!

    We are also having poop issues, altho it’s more of the ‘bunged up’ variety. My poor baby girl has been slightly constipated for the last couple of days and is seriously unhappy about it. She’ll be smiley and happy one moment and then screaming red in the face as she tries to push the next.

  2. deepdreamer Says:

    OH POO!! What an effort!

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