I have been trying to think of a way to make a 5.5 month old with H1N1 funny for almost an hour now. I can’t. It’s not funny. We both have it. I’m scared. It really, really fucking sucks to not be able to do anything to make your little one feel better. It really, really fucking sucks to have to be the strong one, when all you want is for someone to say “Everything will be fine, your baby will be fine.” I had a little break down earlier and I feel another one coming on. I feel the same way that I did when he was in the light bed. Completely responsible and also helpless. It’s my job to make him better, but what the fuck do I know about infants and the flu? He’s sleeping now. By all outward appearances he’s perfectly fine. I guess those saline drops from hell helped after all. Good thing because the screaming they prompted is what caused the breakdown.