Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

The Week From Hell: Part 1 September 24, 2011

Filed under: Completely and Entirely Unrelated to IF,Family — arminta @ 11:49 pm

Warning: I’m getting ready to bitch and whine. A lot. It won’t be funny.

 

Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook know that this week has been a wicked awful one. I’m still reeling from it. It all started Sunday when my Mom called to let me know that Waldo was acting funny. OK, back story… when we went on vacation Waldo stayed at my mom’s house with my dad* and when we got back he seemed so happy that we just let him keep staying there. My dad was taking him for walks and he was sleeping in the room with my mom and he was happy, I couldn’t make him come home when he was doing so well over there. So, we visited him 2x a week and let him stay at mom’s. Which would be why she was calling me to tell me that my dog was acting weird. He was refusing to come in the house and hadn’t eaten in a couple of days. Naturally, I went straight to him. This is my beloved pooch. My best friend of 15 years. My fur-baby. I flew to him.

 

And found… a very, very ill puppy. I got him to eat some bacon and drink some water, but he wouldn’t come in for me, either. He was rather listless and lethargic. He was sick. It seemed like his hips were hurting him really badly. So, I made plans to take him to the vet on Monday.

Monday came and he was worse. He wouldn’t drink or eat (even fresh bacon). He had dragged himself into mom’s shed and would not be budged. I sat with him for an hour while waiting for my husband to take him to the vet, he didn’t move. I couldn’t go. I knew that at his age being this sick wasn’t a good sign.

Waldo didn’t come home from the vet. She said that he had a virus which had exacerbated kidney failure in progress. She could keep him for a few days and rehydrate him and tube feed him and he may or may not pull through. Even if he did pull through, she didn’t give him more than a month due to the strain on his kidneys. They don’t do kidney transplants on dogs. “This is not the movies. And at his age he wouldn’t survive the surgery anyway.” Yes, G honestly asked that. Yes, if we could have spent $10k and saved him for another year or two, we would have (never mind the fact that we don’t have $1k let alone $10k in the bank). The humane thing would be to help him pass peacefully in as little pain as possible. The last thing he saw was G patting him and telling him how loved he was and what a great dog he has been.

 

I m still beside myself with grief. I am still in shock. How is it possible that my Waldo-bear is gone? Sure, I knew it was coming. He was 15, his kidneys have been failing for a couple of years and he’s been slowing down. Knowing a thing is coming and experiencing it are two very different things. Please know I doubt there has ever been a better or better loved dog on this planet.

 

But see, that was only Monday and it has been the week from hell, not the day from hell…

 

* My parents are still divorced, my dad is now also divorced from the lunch lady (aka Man Hands, aka Wife #2) and was broke and needed a place to stay and for some crazy reason my mother let him move back in at her house. As a renter.

 

 

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Diapers are the devil September 18, 2011

Filed under: Baby G — arminta @ 1:00 pm

Yes, I am ready to potty train my 12 month old. No, I don’t think it will actually work.

 

Here’s the deal, when we went on vacation (in July) I didn’t take the potty chair. I did take disposable diapers. My husband changed diapers. Without being asked. That was new and wonderful! Then when we got home I got a MASSIVE RA flare-up (because RA is a dirty whore) and the trice weekly chore of diaper washing actually became a chore. So, my husband bought more sposies. And he changed them. And it was easy. And it smelled better. And… it wasn’t as expensive as I’d expected.

 

I don’t regret the time we used cloth exclusively. I still believe it was the right choice. I still believe it was what was best for baby and thed environment. For the first year, I even still beleive it was cheapest and cheapest overall given the length of the investment. If we have another baby, and I’m not crippled by the RA, I’ll use them again and diapering will cost nearly nothing for the first year.

 

That said, we have moved to mostly using disposables gradually since July. Because of the RA and because my baby eats like his Daddy, and his Daddy eats a lot of onions and garlic and his poops smell like he eats a lot of onion and garlic. I feel a little like I’m letting myself down, because I didn’t want to use disposables. But, mostly, I feel like I’m letting Baby G down. Not because the sposies are less comfy, he actually seems to prefer them. Which is why I think I’m letting him down.

 

I’m afraid that allowing him to develop a dependence on the diapers is going to wreck the potty progress we were making. He has already stopped signaling for poops. So, am I trading my convenience now for an extra year in diapers? Looks like it. Shit! Literally…

 

Is He Walking Yet? September 15, 2011

Filed under: Baby G — arminta @ 10:44 pm

No. No, he isn’t. And, no, I’m not worried about it.

 

Where is it written that if your child doesn’t walk on his first birthday he is somehow “behind?”

 

The average age for starting to walk is 10-14 months. I know this because so many helpful people (you know, family, friends, strangers at the store) make sure to let me know, as if they are somehow comforting me, every time I let them down by having a non-walking 12.5 month old.

 

Don’t get me wrong, much like crawling, it’s not that he can’t. He can, and does, until he realizes it. According to the pediatrician (not all G’s parents are as sanguine about the situation as Mommy, and decided to talk to the pedi about the non-walking at his 12 month check-up) he realizes the risk of walking (duh, falling!) and is smart enough to decide to not take the risk. He agrees that since G 1) has taken steps and 2) can stand unsupported for minutes, even bending to pick up and throw toys, he is perfectly capable of walking, and eventually will when he’s ready.

 

He does take more steps everyday. But, they are never in response to coercing and being called and groaning¬†when he gets down on his knees to crawl. Because, hello!, anytime smiling baby is coming your way YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY!!! Especially when it’s the smiling baby you waited 11 freaking years for!!!! Just sayin’

 

Can you tell that I’m a little frustrated with the fact that it seems like everyone other than me is in a hurry to see my baby grow up faster than he’s ready? Because, he’ll never be this again. He changes everyday and every new change is great, but it’s sad how quickly he changes… I’ll never see his toothless grin again. His new toothy smile is beautiful, but I miss that toothless happy face.¬†He’s growing so fast all on his own, why does everyone feel the need to rush it?

 

One day (be it tomorrow or next month) he will become a walker. He will be one step closer to independence. He will be on his way to autonomy. I’m not in a hurry for that day to come. I’m perfectly glad to welcome a crawling baby into my arms for another day (or 80)…

 

Baby Boxing September 9, 2011

Filed under: Baby G — arminta @ 10:56 pm

Other possible titles:

  • Toddler Brawls
  • Fight, Fight, We Fight All Night (and day)
  • Mine!
  • My Living Room: War Zone

Yeah, so two babies of roughly the same age was hard at first (until I learned how to tandem feed them). Then it was easy for a while, because they’d play side by side, in the same room, without moving too much, but not harrass each other.

Those days are gone.

I have fully mobile little people on my hands now. And they have opinions about who should be playing with their toys. Which is NO ONE EXCEPT ME!!!!! Only, you know, it’s kind of a community toy pile. We do have two ride on toys, but heaven help anyone who isn’t Graham that tries to get on his Thomas Train. He’s takin’ suckaz down.

Suckaz = Ladybug.

Also, if your name isn’t Ladybug, you better keep yo’ ass off of her zebra!

Graham’s name isn’t Ladybug.

And I pity the fool that finds an Elmo phone, or even BOTH Elmo phones.

Elmo phones are MINE!!!!!

Folks, shit is getting real around my house! These two are now fully capable of inflicting real harm to each other, and they are hell bent on doing just that!

All too common scene in my living room these days

 

So, twin mommies and other keepers of multiple kids of the same age… how the F do you stop 1 year olds from fighting/biting/hair pulling/pushing each other?

 

Keyword Salad Yummy Yummy September 8, 2011

Filed under: Crazy Keywords — arminta @ 5:27 pm

Here’s something we haven’t done in a while! Yeah, I mean talk shit about how people find my blog. ‘Cause it’s never “I want to have a baby” or “infertility sucks” no, that’s not what brings people here. Of course not! What brings people here are things like:

  • Leaking Boobies
  • Wet Boobies
  • Big Boobs Wet Shirt
  • Breast Milk Spray

and of course

  • Spraying Boobs

Maybe I talk about boobs too much? Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

 

Of course boobs aren’t the only things that draw in the lurkers… There’s also:

  • MIL Drama: Of which, I’m done
  • Various variations of my name: Which makes me think maybe I’m not
  • A whole slew of unkind things about infertile women: To which I say “Fuck You”
  • My all time favorite “Fat Pissy”: Gonna guess that guy did NOT get what he was looking for here…

Of course there is more. Lot’s more. Really weird shit. Like:

  • can your boss ring the hospital to check up on you if u dont turn in for work because your pregnant and you had told him while your not in because ur in hospital
  • saga pants for sale
  • my sister has a big c***
  • toilet hygiene picture incorrect section
  • kid in restaurant “i need to poop”
  • where can i find sheep at 2am?
  • grocery store hard nipples

I’m starting to wonder what kind of perves are hanging out around these parts…

 

The Juice Fast: It Continues September 6, 2011

Yeah, so this juice fasting thing is kicking ass. And by kicking ass, I mean shrinking my ass! Which is, you know, AWESOME! It has inspired me so, that I’ve made yet another blog to chronicle it (and record my juicetacular recipes).

So, yeah, now I have three blogs (the super-secret family blog, this one and the juice one) that I will surely let languish. But, I really didn’t think ya’ll wanted to read about juicing recipes everyday in this space, nor do I really want the people searching for juicing recipes getting confused by all the baby talk. I’m so full of it, like anyone is searching for me! Ha! Well, actually, they are searching some pretty fun stuff to lang here. Maybe it’s time for another keyword salad.

If these babies can ever learn the meaning of the word NAP.

Oh, right link! http://juicingfoodie.wordpress.com

 

The Juice Fast: It Begins September 4, 2011

Filed under: Baby G,Diet,Rheumatoid Arthritis,The Juice Fast — arminta @ 11:08 am

Well, folks I decided to undertake a juice fast to help combat the RA and my not so great report from the rheumatologist this week (liver enzymes elevated, drugs killing me slowly, and they aren’t even the fun kind that get happy stoned)… So far so good! I even resisted getting food at a restaurant on Sat after HOURS of shopping at Jungle Jim’s (OK, not really, it just felt that way because my ankle hurt so bad and it was so packed).

When we got home from the grocery G Jr. had his dinner:

See delicious selection of solid food… Except the spinach. Spinach, it has been decided, shall only be consumed covered in cream and curry.

And I had mine:

What’s that you say, looks nasty squared? You’re right.

The color of my juice put in mind of something. A childhood memory, maybe…

Yep that’s it! Tasted about like that water, too…
You’re brave, Mama, I’ll give you that! Not for drinking that nasty juice, but for swimming in that green water!