Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Horrible Weekend February 13, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — arminta @ 5:42 pm

What goes up must come down, right? Before I continue… everything appears to be just fine with gestating human child. All children for that matter. This is not another “well, that was short lived” post.


The weekend was pretty craptacular all the same. It started with a fight with my mother. I called her Saturday morning (my 12th wedding anniversary by the way) to make sure she was still babysitting for us so we could go on a birthday/anniversary date. She had forgotten all about it and was currently watching the C’s, and had plans to go out herself but she could cancel them if I wanted her to. Grr… And by the way, my brother’s dying. She’s really worried about him, but at the same time he chose to not take care of himself and she’s not draining her bank account now. Grr… And, I’m too fat, too. And I’m being very “Pollyanna” about this pregnancy and she hopes it doesn’t kill me. Because being too fat almost killed me last time (it was in fact pre-eclampsia, which also happens to thin people) and being too fat is causing my joints to hurt (hmm, here I thought it was the rheumatoid arthritis). So, that was a fun call. She admitted later that she was just being a bitch because she was worried about my brother and but still. Grrrr….


Oh, yeah, and my brother’s health is in bad shape. Like he’s currently in the ICU bad shape. Like his kidney’s are in failure bad shape. Like his blood pressure was 250/160 when he finally went into the ER last night. My brother is dying. His heart and kidneys are damaged, possibly beyond repair.


Mother did finally come and babysit so we could go out for a quick meal together. It sucked. The food wasn’t good, it was so late that I was falling asleep at the table. We ate, went to Walgreens and came home. Not a very awesome evening at all.


Did I mention being terrified for my brother?


When we got home, Mr. G was still up and we had to do the bedtime thing. One of the *best* parts of asthma is that the steroid inhaler causes yeast diaper rashes. Even in kids that don’t wear diapers. The treatment is plain ol’ Lotramin. He hates having gunk smeared around his junk and paws at it. Apparently, I missed it and he put his fingers in his mouth after pawing his Lotramin covered business. Gross. Or, according to G “I’m poisoning the baby.” Poisoning. the. baby. I just fought with him over the puffy. He’s fighting and kicking and squirming to avoid the diaper and the Lotramin and the pajamas. I’m doing all of this half asleep and BY MYSELF and he wants to chime in with “I’m poisoning the baby.” I’m sorry not “the” baby “his” baby. Needless to say, I went the fuck off. This shit is getting really old. So there’s that day ended just as well as it started.


Sunday was another beaut. Full of fighting and blame. Second guessing and criticism. So, I lost my shit again.


So far today is not shaping up much better.


4 Responses to “Horrible Weekend”

  1. Mrs.Gamgee Says:

    Ugh… what a crappy weekend!! I’m sorry to hear that your brother is so ill. Is this something that has been coming on for a while?

    Can I tell you a story? Once, when my sister was pregnant with her second my mother accused me of wanting S to lose the baby. Here’s the backstory… S and her DH and toddler son lived with all of us. S had developed a minor complication in her pregnancy (a hernia… that doesn’t look like it’s spelled right). S had been told to avoid lifting anything, and instead of asking me to help her with my nephew, she decided to carry him upstairs herself (I was in my room). Later that day my mom blasted me about it, telling me that if S lost the baby, she would hold me responsible. I know (and knew then) that my mom was just freaked out about S and the baby, and instead of directing her fear in the right direction, she took it out on me in anger. My mom never apologized, but she knew she was in the wrong for what she said.

    I know you know this, but it’s worth reiterating. People say and do awful things when they are afraid. I’m not making excuses for your mom or your hubs, but all the fear that you’re feeling now for your brother, and undoubtedly the worry you have for your new little bean… well, they’re probably just as scared and worried. But instead of handling it in a healthy way (talking about it), they say things that hurt you and them.

    Sending ((hugs)) and prayers your way, hun!

    • arminta Says:

      Thanks, lady. Yeah, he has had blood pressure and kidney issues since high school, and he has not had health insurance since whatever the cutoff is that he got dropped from my mom’s, so he’s just been ignoring it. Over the past six months he’s been retaining a lot of water (think pre-eclampsia water retention, complete with a big pocket in his abdomen) and Friday night we think he had a minor heart attack. They have to get all of the fluid off of him for the test to be accurate to tell for sure how much damage has been done to his heart and kidneys. At this point they are talking about letting him come home this weekend, but I don’t know yet what the long term prognosis and treatment plan are going to be.

      Thanks for understanding.

  2. Sorry the weekend sucked for you.

    A handfull of diaper goo wont “posion” lil G. All babies do that… I think it is part of the discovering the world thing. Everything goes in the mouth. Even diaper goo, unfortanately. ( eww.)

    Sorry about your brother. and sorry you had to bare the brunt on your mom’s scared wrath.

    Thinking good thoughts, and HUGS.
    Deep breaths, eat some chocolate and hope today is better.

    • arminta Says:

      I’m not one to let him get the goo in his mouth, but if he happens to get a little in there, I don’t see the sense in freaking out, either. G actually called poison control over a similar incident with Desitin and they said “no big deal, if ate like an inch out of the tube that be a different story, but a little smear isn’t going to hurt him.” This overreacting nonsense is going to be the end of me, I think… (kidding, kind of)

      Eat some chocolate… wise words, woman! I think I’ll do just that. Before G gets home, so he doesn’t accuse me of poisoning the littlest one with the caffeine from the chocolate!

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