I guess I shouldn’t really call it a zombie baby. It’s more of a zombie “gestational sac plus, the starts of a yolk sac, we think if we hold the wand at this angle.” It’s growing, not nearly where it should be, but growing all the same. So, we have a definitive answer on WTF is up, right?
You’re so funny. You know what we know? Jack fuckin’ nothin.’ It’s still just too early to tell. Let’s look again in a week. At which point we’ll hope for a definitive yolk sac & hopefully a fetal pole. After that, we’ll wait another week and hope for an actual baby to turn up at some point.
The doctor was not-reassuring-at-all. He literally said “too early to tell, come back next week.” But the tech was much nicer after he left. She said she’s seen this situation go both ways. More often than not it goes the very-bad-sad way, but it’s not unheard of to go the other way, too.
So, we wait. And wait. And freaking wait.
I suppose I’d be cool with all this waiting if it didn’t bring MORE worry with it. Because let’s say this thing does turn around, get it’s act together and grow a proper baby with a beating heart at some point in future… obviously, there is something wrong that’s it’s not growing properly now. Could it affect the baby later? Could the baby be physically impaired because of this? I don’t know how I feel about that. Obviously, no matter what I’d love the baby and do anything it needed. It’s not about that. It’s about what if these interventions caused a baby to born with major difficulties? It would be my fault. Of course, all of that is assuming it ever grows a heart and the ability to live inside my body, let alone outside of it…
I need a drink.