Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Updates & Whatnot March 15, 2012

So, I promised you an update on the situation La Diabla. Plus, you know, there’s other stuff going on, too. The world did not stop moving just because my body killed another innocent baby. Weird how that happens.

 

– La Diabla: So, G took Baby G over to Aunt C’s a couple of times on Sunday morning when I was in the throws of 1st trimestery zombieland. His Aunt C called La Diabla so she could come see the baby, too. Grr… Now, we have long agreed that she will not dictate how we live our lives. For instance, if we are out in public and she turns up, we will go on about our business. But, to me, this is a little different. I feel he should have left. Not because I wanted him to (although the thought of that troll touching my baby makes me want to hurl), but because he told her that he wasn’t interested in seeing her and that he didn’t want her around his son. If you’re going to say things like that, you need to back them up. But, that’s his business. He made it sound like he was unhappy that she turned up and blah, blah, blah, then… did the same bloody thing the following weekend. He’s not being honest with someone, and I think it’s himself. So, I cannot tolerate this whole pretending that nothings happened nonsense, nor do I want that unrepentant bitch anywhere near my child. In other times I might have played it cool, but now that Baby G is involved I actually stood up for my family and told G that she is NOT to be around my son. Period. If she desires a relationship with any member of this family (other than G, I have no right to but in there) then she will agree to family counseling. No counseling, no relationship. She’ll never do it. But, I figure if she does, we all benefit. If she doesn’t, I am able to say I remained willing to make things work, but that she was the uncooperative one. I’m not normally one for games (and I do think that is kind of a game, because I know she won’t ever agree to family counseling), but desperate times…

 

– Once again, I am so pissed that things have worked out this way. Because even though I don’t really like my MIL, she could be really useful. Not only that, we could be friends of sorts. She would be a good one for taking the kids out and couponing together and stuff like that. I wish we could have that kind of relationship. That’s probably why I set the condition of family counseling. I know it’ll never happen. I need to not even let myself think it. But, I do. I wish it could be like that. I hate that I wish that. I wish I could really hate her as much as I want to.

 

– My Health: Sucks. My RA is out of control, I’m in so much pain. I wish I could just feel good. Or, even OK. But, as it is, I’m always tired and achy. My feet hurt so bad and my left ankle is nearly unbearable by bedtime. So, I asked Dr. Rheumy for new drugs today. Strong drugs. Drugs that we’ve been avoiding because we’ve been pro-creating, and now we’re not. She gave me drugs. I am pleasantly stoned right now. I wouldn’t say I’m in much less pain (not that I expected to be on the first day), but, who gives a shit? I’m nice an relaxed. This isn’t really what I want, though…

 

– So What the Hell Do I Want?: Yeah, another big topic around here. Apparently I need goals. Not just for me, either, for the whole family. We need to stop drifting this way. Now that we’ve decided to actively prevent pregnancy, it feels like a whole new world has opened to us. More on this to come.

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3 Responses to “Updates & Whatnot”

  1. Mrs. Gamgee Says:

    Isn’t family supposed to be a blessing? :/ My bio-fam and your in-laws should get together for a bat-shit crazy contest. You have every right to defend your little family from them. No child needs that kind of insanity in their life.

    Like I said before… take care of yourself, and take your time making any big choices. But goals and dreams are important… they keep us moving forward.

  2. […] it look like someone was intentionally searching for me? Yeah, well, 20 minutes after I posted this last night, my phone rang. It was an “unknown” number. Needless to say, I did not […]


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