Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Sweet Little Man June 10, 2012

Filed under: Baby G — arminta @ 12:52 am

A random little story I want to remember forever…


On Thursday when Lil G was really sick an listless I took him to the doctor’s. While we were in the room waiting, he was laying on me and I thought he was asleep. A baby in a nearby room was getting shots and started crying. G looked up at me and said “Mom-mom baby crying” in the saddest little voice. I said “I know honey, the baby’s getting shots.” He said “Baby sad.” So, I told him “She’ll be OK, shots only hurt for a minute.” To which he responded “I hug it.”


So sweet. Even sick as he was he was worried about the baby and wanted to comfort it.


He’s not the virgin mary June 9, 2012

Filed under: Baby G,We're parents? — arminta @ 2:12 am

But, He Does Cry Blood




Ways To Get the Pediatric Ophthalmologist To Take You Seriously


Back Story

  • Last week the C’s 3 had an adenovirus. So, we separated Lil G from them all week. It was hard for everyone. But, it seemed to work for making sure he didn’t get sick.
  • Monday: Lil G woke up with pink, puffy, watery eyes. Well, pink eye can come from anywhere… It’s OK, got drops, everything’s going to be OK. Though, we aren’t out of the adeno danger zone… (that’s called foreshadowing, folks!)
  • Tuesday: Oh, hey, fever. Fuck! Looks like we got that ol’ adeno afterall. It’s OK, Motrin keeps the fever down, warm washcloths help the eyes. Everything is still OK.
  • Wednesday: Hmmm, looks like my baby lost a boxing match in the night… also, he’s now quite fussy and refusing to eat and drink. Well, that sucks. But, it’s been three days, this is bound to be the worst of it. Ha. Ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
  • Thursday: Or, is it still Wednesday? I don’t know because we didn’t really sleep. What did we do all night? Mostly screamed and rocked. But, when we did catch an hour or two of sleep his eyes gunked up to the point that he couldn’t open them without the trusty hated warm washcloth.Not that the left one could really open even after it was degunkified. Let’s see if Ol’ Dr. Tall has any tricks up his sleeve for this, huh? Turns out? No. But his friend the pediatric ophthalmologist might. But his office BOOKED. And, also? Nothing he can do. But, call back if Lil G develops sensitivity to light, or things “get worse.”
  • Friday: Bleeding eyes count as worse, no?

The rest of the story…

So, yes. My poor baby is SICK*. He’s in the dehydration danger zone, listless, not himself, miserable, puffy faced, sick. My mom cried when she saw him today. Because he looks that bad. My heart is broken for him and I can not wait for him to get better and back to himself. The selfish side of me is enjoying all the cuddles and having him in my bed, but the price is too high. But, I know he will get better. I know he’ll eventually be OK. Plus, this is all normal kid stuff, right? Fevers, conjunctivitis, snot everywhere? It happens. I don’t like it and it’s worse than it’s ever been before, but it’s not world shattering stuff. Just normal virus shit.


Until? His eyes started bleeding. I’m not embarrassed at all to admit that is the point that I went ahead and freaked right the fuck out. Because, seriously? How the hell does this happen?


Naturally, as I’m sure this qualifies as the “worse” to which the pediatric ophthalmologist referred, I called Dr. Tall. If anyone will understand and be able to talk me down from freaking out, it will be the highly trained staff at his office. Plus, he’ll totally get us into the specialist who’ll fix it. OK, everything’s OK.


But, the most unpleasant nurse I’ve ever spoken to informed me that Dr. Tall is off today. So, we’ll need to just come in and see a different pedi. But, oh no. We’re supposed to get a referral to a specialist, let’s just go ahead and do that. There are no notes in his chart to that effect, so we’ll just need to come on in and see a different pedi and *if* a referral to a specialist is warranted, “we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” Oh, the fuck no she didn’t… So, I scheduled the appt and called my hubs and made arrangements for the other chilluns to be watched.


G came straight home. Cancelled the appt with the other pedi and took us straight to the ER. Where they immediately gave my son magic drops and he’s fine now. I wish! No, they informed me he now has an ear infection, too. For which they prescribed the pink stuff, although they don’t think it will help, because it’s probably from the virus, but it could be a secondary bacterial infection and blah, blah, blah. My son did impress the shit out of them by correctly pointing out a stethoscope. Thank you, Elmo. They then called the very specialist we were supposed to see yesterday. Of course, he has time for bleeding eyes.


Time, yes. A cure? Not so much. The blood is from irritation, most likely he’s bursting blood vessels when he rubs his eyes. It’s a virus, it’ll have to run its course. But here are some drops, that will sting like pure alcohol, that will prevent a secondary bacterial infection. Have fun with this shit for the next two weeks. KthxBai.


So now, I can’t sleep because a 30 pound toddler can fill a kind sized bed and duh-am-worried. I feel completely helpless and shitty. I’m Mom-Mom. My job is to fix shit. Here he is, feeling like ass and there’s nothing I can do. Worst.Feeling.Ever.


*Let me clarify this. He’s sick with a virus. It is most likely that there will be no lasting side effects or mortality associated with this illness. So, while to me he’s SICK, I get that in the broader sense of things this isn’t the end of the world.


If I Had a Million Dollars June 6, 2012

We talk about this a lot around here. What would we do if we were rich. What would daily life look like?

I’m lazy enough to think it might look like Saturday morning for a few months. But, am ambitious enough to know that wouldn’t last. Eventually, I’d need a project or 80 (please see post from yesterday, about my love of starting projects). Plus, I’m the type that wants to leave a legacy for my family. A real legacy. something that my great-grand-kids will appreciate and benefit from. Like, a farm.


Yep, a farm.


If I had the money, I would totally invest in a large bit of land for my family (when G and my mom speak of this they call it “the compound” because “duh, the sky is falling”) and the tools to help us turn it into a relatively sustainable home. Meaning, renewable energy and on site water and growing the food. I’d love to have a working farm/tourist attraction concept. That is one of our favorite places to plunk down cash in the fall and would be another way to ensure we wouldn’t need day jobs. Not that I have a day job now…


Yes, given enough money I wouldn’t chose a life of less work, just a different kind of work. The kind where my boy gets to spend the days with his Daddy and learns the satisfaction of having personally had a hand in feeding his family. I would build a place where I know future generations could call home.


What would you do with a million dollars?


I’m a Starter June 5, 2012

I was gonna tell you guys all about how our summer is starting (i.e. Big C and Lil C and RA, Oh MY!), but instead I hoped on over to Mel’s to get a much less bitchy idea for something to bore you with!


But, lo and behold her prompt was actually something I’ve been thinking about for a while… How do you feel about starting new projects?


Easy! I LOVE starting projects. One of my favorite parts of my pre-Mommyhood career was meeting with clients and mapping out their project. Then I had to slug through all the “work” then I loved handing it over to them. But, I totally dig the planning and pre-work of new projects. I seriously could just plan projects for other people for a living. I always have ideas for new projects, too. Speaking of, I’m totally thinking about opening a second Etsy shop for my nature photography. Why? Is my current shop not enough work? It is! I just love new projects!


But it occurs to me that as awesome as it is to be a project starter… there’s no sense to be starting all these projects without the follow through. And, there’s where I fall down. I’m horrible at the daily grind part of projects. Which is something I need to work on. I need to get better at follow through and delivery. It’s great to have a plan, and a vision, but without the action… well, what was the point of all that dreaming.


So, one of the things I am seriously working on for 2012 is getting better at the action. I don’t want to dream less, I want to act more. Turn those visions into life. Maybe I’ll never be an award winning author with photographs in galleries and a super clean house full of awesome crafts I did with the kids (damn you, Pinterest!). But, I could totally be closer to that than I am now. Lights, camera, action!


Oh the Places You Will Cry June 4, 2012

Filed under: Baby G,Miscarriage — arminta @ 1:37 am

You know what’s really embarrassing? Having an all out heaving sobs, pouring snot cry in the middle of Carter’s. Yeah, Carter’s the baby clothes store. Well, it wasn’t really in the middle of the store. I was in the bathroom. But, I’m pretty sure everyone heard me.


I have a kid. He needs clothes (OK, he really doesn’t, I have enough 2T’s to clothe two kids, but shit these clothes are cute, and my mom was buying…). This means from time to time I do go into stores that sell baby clothes. And usually? I’m chill about it. After all, I’m there to pick out really cute stuff for my really cute boy.


But, today, I saw this little purple dress. It was tiny. And, perfect. And, I totally would have bought it for Nora. Honestly, I almost did buy it, just to put it up in her little box. But, I stopped myself. mostly because I didn’t want my mom judging me.


Here we are at what should be 21 weeks. When I should have started shopping for her. (Even if she had turned out to be a he, we’d have done some shopping…) All of the pregnant bellies were just mocking me. And her clothes were just sitting there looking at me, waiting to come home and be washed and put away for her. But, she won’t be coming home.


My eyes must have gave me away because Mom asked if my heart was breaking and as I nodded the tears started to flow and the girl working the floor pointed me to the bathroom. And I broke down.


Shortly afterwards we paid for the stuff that was going home with us (so cute!) and found G and Lil G. I have rarely hugged that kid so tightly. The only thing that makes the hole in my chest shrink to a manageable size is squeezing my baby man. I’m tempted to go get him out of bed right now. (I won’t, of course, because he needs his sleep and it’s not his responsibility to take care of my emotional black hole…)


21 Months Rocks Socks June 1, 2012

Filed under: Baby G — arminta @ 1:06 am
Tags: , , ,

Every month I say “I need to write this down, I do NOT want to forget this, this is THE BEST phase EVER.” Most months I am lazy and forget to write anything down, and then the next month rolls around and OMG is the BEST EVER. Seriously, ya’ll? This kid blows my mind. Obviously, because he is mine I think he is the cutest, sweetest, smartest little thing to ever grace the planet. Don’t get me wrong, he has my temper and is a little tyrant about some things and is definitely showing signs of “almost two!” but overall? AM IN LOVE. Right now the C’s are all sick with the adenovirus (to which their pediatrician said “you can’t take them around your immune compromised sister or her asthmatic baby for 5 days, because this strain could land them both in the hospital”) so, it’s just been me and him and Holy freaking cow! As much as I love having a house full of crazy (and I do) and as much as I hate being separated from Ladybug (and I really do), I am LOVING the one on one with my man. He is a little drama monster and sweet and loving and funny. He is funny. He knows he’s funny. He even says “I funny, Mom Mom.” He calls me “Mom Mom.”


OK, listy list of things I must never forget about my man right now:

  • He talks more and more everyday. We’re having conversations. He tells me about stuff he did, or remembers. He tells me places he wants to go. Today we were looking at pictures on the Kindle Fire (FYI, coolest toddler toy on the planet) and he saw one of the eel at the Boonshoft Museum. Immediately, he says “Go bye bye, eel” and starts tugging on me to get up and go see the the eel live and in person. And… had it not been 5am and had the museum been open, I’d totally have gotten up right then and gone to the museum. We went swimming on Sunday and he keeps telling me all about it. He visited his Nauntie and Uncle Papaw this weekend and when he came home he had a whole big story to tell me. “Mom mom, swimmin’ Nauntie, H, Uncle Papaw, Balls, Slide, Slide Pool cool!, Daddy, water, swimmin’, fun” You could tell he was excited and was trying to tell me all about his big fun.
  • The single best thing I’ve heard him say, though? “Mom Mom, I happy.” He’s happy. We were driving home from Lil C’s birthday party and out of nowhere from the backseat I hear “Mom Mom, I happy.”
  • He says his own name! As in “Where’s G?” or “I G” Is adorable.
  • He loves swimming. Loves. He spent (I am not even exaggerating, here) 45 minutes on Sunday walking around the baby pool with a noodle pretending to be an elephant. Then got down on all fours to be a shark for a while (BTW a shark noise is the “dunh, dunh.. dunh dunh..” from Jaws). Then he decided to be an octopus for a bit. In the 3 hours we spent at the pool he was a wide variety of animals, but always went back to elephant.
  • Elephants rock. As do owls. And frogs. Everyday he hunts for owls in our ears and belly buttons. He is a frog several times a day (complete with long tongue).
  • Elmo is no longer just “Elm.” At some point in the last 10 days Elmo went from “Elm” to “Elmo” he is still the reigning king of all things electronic entertainment.
  • At 21 months, this kid uses my kindle fire. As in he can beat levels of the ice cream scoop bubble popper game and can scroll through to find his apps, and start them. He is a fucking whiz at memory match.
  • Speaking of being a whiz? He recognizes almost every letter of the alphabet (still has some trouble distinguishing between Y, K & V or O & Q or C & G, but overall, knows most letters). He recognizes all of the numbers between 1 & 9. He counts to 10. He can “read” a few words (boo, go, dog, up). I don’t think he’s reading as much as recognizing, but I’m still impressed. He knows the names of many colors, and if you ask him what color something is there’s a 50% chance he’ll answer correctly and a 50% he’ll say “green.” Unless it’s orange. Orange he gets EVERY time. I think it’s his favorite color. Which is funny because Lil C has been saying orange is Baby G’s fav color since forever. Shapes he could give a shit less about. All shapes are octagons. For which I blame Jack Black (look it up on Youtube, my kid freaking loves Jack Black).
  • He says the funniest little grown up stuff. Like? After several minutes of me trying to convince him to at least put on underwear to go outside he’ll say “Oh, fine!”
  • He sings. His favorites are Shake the Mango Tree, Sing a Song and Itsy Bitsy Spider.
  • He is a dramatic little ham. He rolls his eyes, and closes them while talking in a funny little voice and growls and I can’t describe this one. Must get video.
  • He is currently obsessed with my belly. My “big big belly button” as he calls it. He wants to lay in the bed and flop around on my belly several times a day. I am covered in bruises from his belly flopping escapades.
  • He loves playing in my bed. He calls it getting “cozy.” I LOVE it.
  • He is a nudist. Which is awesome because “yay! less laundry”  but brings with it a whole new list of concerns. Like, balls sticking to the slide and making sure he doesn’t teabag the other children.
  • He poops on the potty really well. He pees on the potty pretty well for his age… Meaning? We are not making progress on the pee front. He pees on the potty about 75% of the time if he’s naked. He will pee in his underwear every time. It seems to be that he simply does not give a shit about peeing on the potty,
  • He throws a FIT when he doesn’t get his way. He’ll try to throw himself on the floor or bang his head and scream. Over little stuff, too. He has figured out that “not for babies” means “no” and gives it the same reaction.
  • Favorite eats: cottage cheese, tomatoes, strawberries, cottage cheese, pretty much any cheese, fresh pineapple, canned peaches, frozen corn, corn on the cob, anything on a stick, oats, cottage cheese, biscuits, bread sticks, bread and did I mention cottage cheese. He’s still good about trying new foods, though, he will promptly spit out and throw on the floor anything he doesn’t want (saying “I don’t like/want it! Spit spit!”) (also, he knows he’s not allowed to spit.)
  • He is defiant. Normal 2 year old defiant… He touches things he’s been told to leave alone and he spits. OMG does he ever spit. On purpose, to piss me off. He even tells me he’s about to do it. “I spit.” I hear it in my nightmares “I spit, I spit.”
  • He loves to play a game where we beg him for hugs. The rules are I sit on the floor and say “pretty please” until he runs at me full speed and hugs me. Is awesome.
  • He runs. Away. Laughing and yelling “I runnin’! I runnin’ Mom Mom!” So cute. I mean it’s a pain when we’re at Walmart and my ankle hurts and he’s running into a center aisle (not that this very specific example has happened or anything), but is still SO CUTE.

There’s so much more, but it’s 1am and I’m tired as shiz, yo.