Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

My Children July 25, 2012

Filed under: Blueberry Bean,Miscarriage — arminta @ 12:36 am
Tags: ,

While we were at the beach a couple of weeks ago (I want to go back!!!!!!!!), Lil G became fascinated with the pebbles in the lake. OK, the kid is obsessed with rocks, so I guess “became fascinated” isn’t really right. Anyway… he was playing with rocks. So, I was playing with rocks. And an idea struck!

 

Not to be immodest or anything, but I really like how it turned out… Then I proceeded to make one for each of the c kids. But, it felt incomplete. Nora should have been with us on this trip and she and Bean are as much my children as Lil G. Just because they aren’t alive doesn’t mean they aren’t my kids. So…

 

I wish I had known the others well enough to give them names. But, I didn’t. They are my babies, too, but honestly, at this point Bean and Nora are the ones I mourn and miss the most. Maybe that’s wrong, IDK, but that’s how I feel. It felt good to do something for them along with the living kids.

 

So often I miss the babies that never were, but right now I’m mourning the LIVES that never will be. The weddings and grand-kids and college years and family dinners that won’t happen are really crystal clear right now…

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