Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Full Term Plus September 28, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — arminta @ 1:22 am

So, Nora could have been here by now. Actually, G was here for three days already at this point. But, she’s not here and she isn’t coming. We passed a garage sale today that was full of pink baby stuff and I completely lost it.

 

This sucks.

 

Festering Black Hole of Negativity September 26, 2012

Ya’ll, I’m sorry that you only get to hear the bitching and whining (mostly) and that I’ve been a piss poor commenter lately. Where have I heard that before? Oh, right, my every single post for the last year! Good fucking grief.

 

I don’t know what I was thinking taking on nanny’ing and a small business and being home full time. I must have been out of my damned mind. I mean, for real. I feel pulled in every which direction, am frazzled and bitchy by 5pm every day (am I maybe tired from staying up all night? you, voice, can feel free to shut the fuck up!) and never feel like anything gets done. I make a list, I blow it off. Am.Lazy.

 

But, I’m not. I don’t feel like I get a break, ever. So, I guess, all of my dicking around and blowing off my list is my way of getting a break? But it doesn’t work. Sometimes I think life would be so much easier if I just got a job. But, I’d miss my little man too much. Plus, the whole point of staying home was to raise him up right and that job isn’t nearly done.

 

So, you want a little bullety synopsis of what’s up?

  • Nanny life: My sister, the ever game player, has been telling her kids that they’re going to daycare. She has not told me this. She did recently ask me to reduce my rate because the boys were in school now. I had to remind her that 1) I didn’t raise the rate this summer or last when I had Big C all day, so why would losing Lil C for a couple of hours a day warrant a rate change? and 2) I now have to drive to get the boys everyday which costs gas money and is an added expense due to their going back to school, also 3) the new school schedule completely fucked the babies nap schedule so I now get 0 time without at least one baby. To which she immediately began going on about how broke she is and how my husband makes more than she does. What the fuck does that have to do with anything? I wish that I was in the position to be able to watch the kids for free, but I’m not. That money is our grocery/household money. It feeds and diapers HER kids. So frustrating.
  • Also, Big C recently told me that his mother told him that I tried to “take him away from her” and that’s why they have to keep secrets from me. Oh my fucking god! There’s a big ass can of worms. For the record… I did see an attorney to determine how to best handle custody and substance abuse issues. A long time ago. When it was clearly an issue. I told her then that I didn’t want her kids, I wanted HER to want her kids. I told him “Your mom was not well back then and I took measures to be sure you’d be with family and not separated from your brother, no matter what. I’m very disappointed that she would bring that up to you.” If it gets brought up again, there’s no guarantee I won’t tell him the whole fucking truth.
  • As if that wasn’t enough, his ADHD/ODD is out of control. Probably partially due to the fact that his “dad” is talking about getting married. Partially due to the fact that his mom is playing crazy mind games. And, a lot to do with new school year/new school stresses. I have said umpteen trillion times that I’d take him to some kind of sport/class to help with discipline and with getting him into someone else’s hair. My mom has offered to pay for such activity. He has not been enrolled. He also has yet to see a behavioral therapist because “a girl a work has similar issues with her kid and a therapist didn’t help them.” So, why bother doing what’s best for your kid, right? I mean kid”S” because his bullshit stresses the other kids, too.
  • You know what else? My MIL is a bitch. Not new news, I know. This psycho actually called my husband and offered him $1k out of nowhere today. Because money is the key to making up for being a family wrecking bitch? Oh, wait, no, that’s a sincere apology, and actually feeling remorse for being such an evil, nasty, mean spirited, ignorant, crazy bitch. #NeverGonnaHappen.
  • But, here’s something that did happen… for some unknown reason my husband felt the need to tell this insane person that he wasn’t “allowed” to talk to her anymore because the therapist and I said so. Un-motherfucking-believable. Grow a pair of goddamned balls. No mention of his decisions. No mention of the umpteen million times I’ve said “you are a grown up and can make your own decisions, but, my son will not have a relationship with her unless she agrees to family counseling.” Which, personally, I think is pretty damned reasonable. No, he just throws me under the bus, again.
  • The counseling is a bit mixed. She’s spending a lot of time on teaching biblical marriage principles. Which, OK, fine. I mean the top thing she keeps talking about is “protection” and he threw me to fucking wolves just this week, so I’m starting to think this is a waste of money and time. Use the “talking stick” and you’ll never fight again… follow the bible and your marriage will be awesome. Whatever… Seriously, here’s how the issues stack up. His w/ me: I sometimes let the baby play with things he probably shouldn’t, I don’t keep the house as clean as we’d both like and I don’t like giving blow jobs all of the time. Mine w/ him: He doesn’t stand up for our family in a mature way with people who are attacking us, he treats me like the help, he hovers over me second guessing my every decision related to the baby, he spends WAY too much money and I’m left to pick up the pieces and the list goes on. There has been “some” improvement since counseling started, but none in the most major of issues.
  • My kid won’t pull down his pants and piss in the potty. Even for chocolate. Oh, he’ll go if he’s nude, but cover up that bird and he pisses every where.
  • I’m broke. Not BROKE, but “broke.”
  • My RA is crazy. Which is probably the catalyst for the depression and bitching. I actually found something that helps. But… it makes me sleepy for days. And, G bitches whenever I take it. Also, I don’t like the way it makes me feel (well, I like the longer term feeling, but the immediate feeling is to intense for me). So, I is screwed.
  • The icing: G asks me the other day “are we going to have another baby or what?” No, I’m not kidding.
 

The Party of the Year September 3, 2012

Filed under: Baby G — arminta @ 1:45 am

The boy is Sesame Street crazy. By which I mean he carries an Oscar the Grouch EVERYWHERE with him and talks about the characters as if they were his real friends. I had the same kind of attachment to Star Wars when I was little, so I get it. Anyhoo… we were looking on Pinterest one day a few months ago and saw a cake, which he immediately threw a fit for and wanted “right now!” Obviously, it would become the inspiration for the party.

 

The one on Pinterest was all fondant (eww), so this is my buttercream take on it. Also, the eyes got jacked during transit 😦

 

Other Pinterest inspired food items:

Oscar Veggie Tray

Elmo Fruit Tray

Elmo Fruit Tray

 

Of course, Mom-Mom went all kinds of crafty nuts on the decorations:

Happy Birthday Banner

You know I went pom-pom cray-cray.

New this year: used left over invitations in the decor.

 

I didn’t make EVERYTHING myself. I did order this game from Etsy (FYI, I highly recommend Crafts by Jillian for all of your party decor needs iffins you aren’t the DIY type):

We were supposed to be pinning the nose on Elmo, but the boy became distracted…

 

OK, here are some pics of people having fun! You will notice precious few balloons in these pictures. This is not because we are cheap or did not plan for balloons. It is because there is a national helium shortage, and the one place we found with helium had a complete asshat working balloons that day and our ordered and prepaid balloons were not ready (obviously, we were refunded and given a credit for our next balloon purchase which is why I’m not naming names…). Thank goodness my aunt brought some attached to presents.

Ladybug knocked Elmo down

Lil C ate Elmo’s nose.

Cousins helped open presents.

I snuggled Ladybug.

The candle was blown out!

Talkin’ two year old business.

Paw-Paw schooled this chilluns in some b-ball.

 

Then we all went home and slept for four days, and when we woke up I was already planning next years party, because I am insane.

 

There you go, now you can say you were at the party of the year!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two.

Filed under: Baby G — arminta @ 1:15 am

My sweet boy, you are now two and you rock my world every single day.

  • You have all but four of your teeth, and those four are trying to come in. Nana says I didn’t have all of my teeth when I turned two, either.
  • You are obsessed with animals. Your favorites are elephants, octopi and frogs.
  • You run and jump and do a crazy little half skip. You climb and dance. You are slightly clumsier than Sissy, but then, she’s freakishly well coordinated…
  • You love to talk. I could write books of the funny stuff you say. The other day Sissy pointed at a pear and said “apple” and you said “That’s not a apple, Sissy, you’re crazy!”
  • You sing. It’s hands down the most beautiful sound on the planet. You’re singing Twinkle, Twinkle right now while I’m typing. You also sing Itsy, Bitsy Spider and ABC’s and a song I made up that we call Rock-a-Baby.
  • You are not the champion of eating that you were a year ago, but you haven’t quite devolved to picky eating just yet. You still like bananas and apples. But, you love all forms of dairy. Your favorites are cheese (feta, parm, cheddar, american, swiss, havarti, you don’t care as long as it’s cheese! you even like bleu cheeses), cottage cheese and yogurt. You don’t much care for ice cream or anything super cold. You are a savory boy. You’ll take garlic bread over birthday cake any day of the week.

  • You are asking me for a bath right now. You still love bath time. You went through a little phase where you didn’t like getting wet, but the pool fixed that. You even dump water on you own head and put your face in the water. By the end of next summer I expect you’ll be properly swimming in the big pool.
  • You eat with utensils when you feel like it, and drink from a regular cup. You are all big boy at the table.
  • You sleep in my bed at night and your big boy bed at naptime. You love your big boy bed.
  • You “read” books to me sometimes, now. You are very particular about how books are read. Nana and Daddy get offended because you take books away from them and bring them to me when they aren’t reading them correctly. Truth be told? I freaking love that.
  • You and Ladybug are the cutest little duo since ever. I especially love to hear your conversations when she is talking in your guys’ baby language and you answer her in English. I got a little video of that the other day.
  • You have a collection of animals, Sesame Street figures and action figures that goes EVERYWHERE with you. Heaven help us if you can’t Oscar or an elephant, the world will end.
  • You know the name for literally every animal at the zoo. You also know their sounds and a lot of their habitats. I’d like to take credit for this, but you appear to have absorbed this info via osmosis.
  • The other day you told me “Hey Mom-mom, a pond is a turtle’s habitat” and I nearly died. You then finished pooping, stood up, looked at your poop and said “Look, G pooped a turtle!” Other amazing things you’ve told me: “Look, Mom-mom, I have one, two nostrils!”
  • You can count out loud to 15. When counting groups of objects you are good unless there are more than three.
  • You know all of your letters and are pretty good at naming the correct letter if I make its sound.
  • You have hit a potty wall, which is entirely my fault. As much as I love the idea of having you completely potty independent (I hate the word trained), I do like the convenience of diapers when we’re out. I suppose I should quit being lazy, because you love your Thomas underwear.
  • You say “quit that” and it’s adorable.
  • You know the words boo, zoo, go and dog by sight. I’m not going to call it reading, because it isn’t… but you do know those words.
  • There is so much more, but I don’t know how to articulate the essence of you. You are sweet and funny and empathetic and loving. You give the biggest hugs and squeezes and kisses.  You give out the “I love you’s” pretty freely now and each one melts my heart.
  • I love you so much. So much.