Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Lowered Messspectations October 30, 2012

Filed under: Baby G,Expanding Their Minds,Ladybug — arminta @ 1:42 pm

Recently the toddlers discovered the joys of finger paint. Of course, I know it was going to get messy. Here is the messpectation set by Crayola:

Unrealistically low, no? I knew it was going to be messier than that! But, we started off in pretty clean territory.
Then a certain little princess who shall remain nameless decided to take things up a notch…
Why, yes, she IS rubbing red pain into her hair like shampoo…
The boy? Not so much…
He thought he wanted to do a hand print, until the paint was on his hand, then he just wanted it off.
I talked him into doing a hand print anyway.

What was our little mess maker up to?

Her shoulders. She was up to her shoulders in paint.
Then she decided to make a hand print on the boy:
Game Over

And we had seconds to make it to the tub before reaching Defcon 4.


Govel Govel Dee October 19, 2012

Filed under: Baby G,Little C — arminta @ 4:20 am

For months this has been the last remnant of the “twinspeak” language Baby G and Ladybug used for most of their second year (i.e. from 1 until now). They would use real words when speaking to us, but had their own language for speaking to each other. Except for “govel govel dee.” They both say it and laugh. It as obvious that it meant SOMETHING, but we could not for the life of us figure out WHAT.


Until… I got sick last week and let the kids was *gasp* Nickelodeon in the morning before Sesame Street. I am not such a fan of Nickelodeon, but Lil C used to watch it while the babies napped, way back when (literally 9 months ago+). Do you know what comes on Nickelodeon in the morning?


Bubble Guppies.


When it came on last week both babies started dancing and saying “govel govel dee.” I was unaware they had even seen it before, let alone watched enough of it to be interested in it, or have a word for it.


Turns out they’ve been trying to learn the English word for it and I’ve been too dense to put it together. Also, I now let them watch Bubble Guppies once a week.


My First Day October 6, 2012

Filed under: Memories — arminta @ 12:44 am

Once upon a time I was a 23 year old with a fancy new job in a fancy new city. I had just left my job of six years (where I was paid $11 an hour with a title of DBA and ran the IT department for the largest manufacturer of fire fighter protective clothing in the USA) to take on the challenge of re-implementing CRM for a cool company that sold shares of private jets (for roughly 2x the pay, and I’d get a private office and an intern, oh and I wouldn’t be working for my mother). You ever play that Kevin Bacon game? Well, if you played it with me and Warren Buffet, the degrees of separation would only be 3 (not that he had any clue who I was). I thought I was very hot shit. Of course, I also felt a lot of pressure to make a great impression.


We moved from our little’ish town to the second largest city in the state on the Saturday before my start date. On Sunday I unpacked some boxes, set up my computer, got my clothes ready for the big day, printed directions and started my period.


Normally on CD’s 2 and 3 I would just stay home. See back then I didn’t have a flow, it was more of a gush. I essentially passed giant clots followed by massive gushes of blood for 2 days, then had a “normal” heavy flow for 3-5 days, then spotted for a week or two, then didn’t see that bitch Flo again for 2 or 4 or 8 or 5 months. So, facing my first day on a new job on CD2? My fancy new job? Where I couldn’t wear jeans or yoga pants? Fuck me. Also, the whole first week was an orientation class. So, it would be highly noticeable if I had to get up every 45 minutes to use the restroom.


At the first break I was able to manage things before they got messy. But, I had soaked all of the way through a jumbo (i.e. super plus) tampon and was close to spilling over my giant granny pad. I replaced said products and went back to class hoping for another break sooner rather than later. There wasn’t another break until lunch. At which point I didn’t need to go to the bathroom to know I HAD soaked the tampon, spilled over the pad, made short work of my (thankfully, black) pants and ruined my chair. I don’t just mean a little spot. I mean ruined the chair. The spot was the size of a dollar bill and deep. I was mortified. I didn’t know what to do, so I covered it with my notebook and went to lunch.


By which I mean, ran to the bathroom, changed the change-ables then drove to a drug store to try to find even higher absorbency “stuff.” Turns out, they don’t. But, I made it back and into my chair before anyone else came back, so no one had to see the horror. But, the instructor had terrible news for us, we would be going (one by one) to take our drug tests in the afternoon. I didn’t know how I was going to get up and out without anyone seeing the mess that was my chair. Also, I was more than a little concerned that the high levels of blood would somehow render the test useless for me, anyway. Somehow I did manage to get out without my chair becoming an issue, though. And the nurse assured me that the test would be fine. When she saw just how much blood was in the cup she did apologize, though.


Luckily the rest of the afternoon passed without further incident. The next day my chair had been replaced and no one ever spoke of it. In the course of my fist week I ruined two chairs. The one on my first day and one on my third day (which happened in the middle of a meeting with my new team and the person who had recommended me for the job and his boss). When I think back on that job now, that’s the over-riding memory, ruining chairs and the associated shame/guilt/embarrassment.