Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Ideas: Check December 30, 2012

Filed under: Blogging — arminta @ 3:00 am
Tags: , , , ,

Everyday I have little snippets of ideas that cause me to think “that would be a good blog post.” Every night by the time I can actually sit down and write I cannot for the life of me remember any of them. I’m about to start resorting to writing them on my arms. But, then how will I justify telling the kids “we only write on paper” 943 times a day?

 

Here are some of the things I THINK I was going to write about today, though…

  • My husband is in dire need of something new to fret over. Give me some suggestions. When we were dating he was constantly worried that I was pregnant (hah!). Then he spent a few years obsessing of his own health (cancer scares were a weekly thing for us, then). Next was the infertility anxiety, which coupled itself with money stress. Luckily, he took a small hiatus from the crazy train after Baby G was born and those were good months. Now, however, he has moved on to Baby G’s health. It is driving me mad. He wants to wake the baby and take him to the ER every.single.night. because he does shit like roll over and breath differently at different times. When I’m not talking him out of a late night ER run, I’m having to explain that he doesn’t need albuterol for every cough and reassure him that the baby does not have lead poisoning or autism. (Please don’t think I’m making fun of the unfortunate families who are actually dealing with any of these very real issues, this is actually VERY serious.) It’s not a Munchausen by Proxy situation, he isn’t trying to fool or trick anyone. It’s more Hypochondria by Proxy, as he genuinely believes all of these things. So, anyway, I need something new for him to fret and fuss and hyper-analyze, because I’m fairly certain that all of this anxiety over his (generally good, save a little asthma) health isn’t good for Baby G. Or my marriage.
  • My Mamaw’s dementia is getting much, much worse. We had Christmas for her over there today and it weren’t pretty. On the other hand, all of her delusions would make for a very interesting novel. Also, just a quick little piece of advice for anyone who may be dealing with a loved one with dementia… if they speak of someone in the present tense, that person IS ALIVE (regardless of whether they’ve been dead 10 years or not). They got to forget that the love of their life died, even if only for a day. There’s not need to upset them and make them live that loss again. (Can you tell that someone made the mistake of telling her my Papaw was dead when she asked about him accused him of having a girlfriend?)
  • I’m pretty sure toy makers know that they’re making toys for parents, not kids. And also, the castle Baby G got for Christmas is Suh-Wheat! And also, I’ve spent a lot of time playing castle over the past week 🙂
  • Remind me sometime to tell you why I don’t take the kids out as much as I’d like to…
  • Crafts ‘n Shit: I made some really cool canvases for Christmas. Of course, I took 0 photos of the process, but I was totally going to tell you all about it.
  • Debating about closing the Etsy shop, or at least not selling finished goods anymore. Not that ya’ll care, but this kind of is my diary/journal.
  • Who gives a shit what people thought 100 years ago? (In response to all of these “the perfect woman in 1912/1913” essays floating about the interwebs.)

I don’t even remember the point/punchline to the castle one. It wasn’t just selling the castle. Although, should Fisher Price like to pay me, I’d be more than glad to endorse it, because it is freaking awesome.

 

See, I told you I have lots of ideas… Maybe one day I’ll form one of them into a topical post.

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Something’s Missing December 24, 2012

Filed under: Miscarriage — arminta @ 2:25 pm
Tags: , , , ,

“This is the first year we haven’t had an infant around in a while.” – Said by my mother at the family Christmas party yesterday.

 

Except, there should have been an infant. My Nora should have been there. She should be a bouncy, bubbly, perfect 10 week old. But she’s not and she never will be.

 

No matter how much I love Baby G and how much fun we’re having… something is missing and always will be.

 

First World Problems December 23, 2012

Filed under: Family — arminta @ 12:48 pm
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So, you guys know I’m a gifter. I LOVE giving gifts. I really do. To me there is little better than watching someone open a gift that you picked/made especially for them and seeing how much they love it. Sure, sometimes I don’t hit my target (Big C), and recently I haven’t really been able to afford to buy gifts for everyone I’d like to. But, I still consider myself a gifter, because if money were no object, I’d be making and buying shit ALL.of.the.TIME.

 

Because that is my nature it kind of bothers me when people who DO have lots of money are so grinchy. When I hear things like “oh they’re babies, they don’t really care about who gets more presents” or “I gave her an unexpected gift in the last 30 days, so I’m counting that towards Christmas” it just rankles me. Not because I think anyone is obligated to give presents, or because people don’t have the right to spend however they see fit, but because of the attitude. It seems like the attitude is more focused on the giver than the recipient. So, why bother giving gifts at all if it isn’t about the recipient? If your heart isn’t in it and your motivation isn’t bringing joy to someone, why do it?

 

That’s just me, expressing a little irk… I do realize, of course, that this little irritation is about as first world as they come. And, now that I’ve gotten it out am over it 🙂

 

Moderation

Filed under: Uncategorized — arminta @ 2:47 am

I have intentionally not written too much about politics and my views thereof on here. Mostly because they don’t really have anything to do with infertility, pregnancy loss or parenting on a daily basis. But, also, I tend to fall outside of the two major schools of thought when it comes to things political and often find myself disconnected from others when it comes to political topics. 

 

That said… in the wake of the Sandy Hook shooting doesn’t it seem like the gun control conversation is insanely polarized? 

 

Literally, my Facebook feed is full of the following posts (yes, these are direct quotes, not my witty paraphrases) and dozens more of the same ilk:

 – Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.

 – Guns are bad.

 – Can we talk about gun control, yet?

 – Really? We’re blaming the guns, not the nut job pulling the trigger?

 – The second amendment has killed enough people.

 Ya’ll, this scares me. It doesn’t scare me that people have differing points of view, or that there is a major discussion happening after a tragic event. It scares me that the conversation following each of these posts are friends blasting each other for having different opinions. It scares me that the arguments people are making are things like “The gub’mint gun go take our guns away, Bubba” (sarcastically, to a FRIEND who happens to just not believe all guns are evil) and “Oh, I see, we’ll make more laws, because criminals do such a good job following those!” (again, sarcasm directed at a FRIEND who just happens to have a different opinion). It scares me that the only two things I hear are: “We need more guns” and “We need no guns.” It scares me that as a people we seem incapable of moderation. 

 

I own guns. After having my house broken into and waiting 15 minutes for a cop to show up when I told the 911 operator “He’s still in my house and I have four scared children in the car with me,” I’m glad that I have the ability to protect my family should the need arise. We are responsible with our weapons. They are kept where the children cannot get to them and, except for the emergency use one (that I sincerely hope I never have to use), they are kept behind a lock. But, the point remains, I own guns for personal protection. I do not think guns are bad. I also do not think guns are good.

 

The fact is, I don’t really know what I think. I think it’s time to evaluate facts, look at what other countries are doing and how that’s working out for them. I think it’s time to examine the meaning behind the second amendment and potentially make changes IF deemed necessary. I think it’s time to determine how mental health care availability factors into this equation. I think it’s time to go on an OBJECTIVE fact finding mission and work together to come up with a plan for the future. I think this fact finding mission should not be funded or conducted by groups who stand to be financially affected by the results.

 

I know none of us wants another horrendous shooting like the ones that have become all too common to occur. But, can anyone truly believe that the answer is a oversimplified, one sentence Facebook status? If so, I am terrified for the future of this world.

 

Where I Was December 10, 2012

I was here, duh!

 

OK, so, I know I said I was going to stop bitching and what-not. But, this is not depressed whining. I swearz!

 

Actually, given all that’s been going on I’m doing remarkably well in that dept.   But, I have been quite down with my RA. Also, I didn’t have a computer for a few weeks because some asshat decided to break into my house (while I was picking the kids up from school, and much like Goldilocks he was still here when we got home) and steal my laptop and all of my jewelry (including a ring from my Great-Grandma). Also, between upper respiratory viruses and asthma and puking/fever viruses we’ve been pretty much sick for 5 weeks.

 

So, that’s where I’ve been, computer-less and up to my knees in puke & poop. Aren’t you glad you asked?

 

(But, I’ll tell you this… my husband was a ROCKSTAR this weekend. He has pneumonia and half of the tummy bug and still took care of me & the boy all weekend. Well, Saturday he kind of had to because I was unconscious and had a 104 degree fever (farenheit, yo), but Friday and Sunday were all voluntary!)

 

(Also, Ladybug is now making me pay hardcore for being sick on Friday and not watching her.)

 

I’m Baaaack

Filed under: Blogging — arminta @ 4:27 am
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OK, so like an hour ago I got on hear to remind myself that I had a blog. Then, I had to read through older posts and wonder who was that hilarious genius who’s been writing for me (then I found all the “oh my life is spiraling out of control and I’m a loser” posts and realized it was me all along). Then! I had to read some comments, because who doesn’t like those… Then!! I had to click links and catch up on people because, well, I’s been without a computer for a little bit. Then!!! I found this wonderful news posted by the lovely Meg.

Now, all that shit I was going to tell you about just doesn’t seem so important.

(Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still tell you, but later… because right now, I just can’t stop smiling!)