Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

All My Fault March 15, 2013

Filed under: Baby G,Marriage — arminta @ 4:15 pm
Tags: , , , ,

So, Mom has come and gone. We had a good visit, but it had to end and now Am.Sad. Easter Part 1 was pretty fun. There were mishaps (as there always are), but overall it was good. We did Kool-Aid egg dying, and had a hunt and ate ham and the Easter bunny stopped by Nana’s early because he heard she wasn’t going to be home on Easter Day. Also, we had a talk with the 9 year old about just playing along with shit like that so the littles (including his crazy gullible almost 6 year old brother) get to have a childhood. Good stuff.


Of course, as happens with four children we had a lot of sickness, too. A tummy bug and pink eye made their rounds. Which has caused no end of grief to me. Not because of eye goop and puking, that I can handle. No, because now Lil G is sick. I made the choice to take him around children that I knew might still be contagious because his grandmother wasn’t going to see him for weeks and weeks, then he got sick. The words “I hold you and your bad decisions as a mother responsible for this” were spoken. Not sure how to handle this one, yet.


I do get it. It’s miserable seeing the little guy sick. He’s miserable, I’m cleaning up puke, Daddy might get sick, too. Not a good situation. If it was a normal situation where he was going to see Nana again in a week or two, I’d probably not have risked it. Probably. Because also… he’s two, this is the time to let their immune systems build. I’m not saying intentionally expose them to germs or anything, but they can’t be kept in a bubble, either. Most viruses are contagious before they are symptomatic, so, by the time the puking begins it may be too late to stop the spread, anyway.


My lackadaisical attitude about the current illness of doom appears to be the main thorn in the husband’s side. Except, I don’t feel that my attitude is uncaring at all. I feel I’m being practical. When the flu was rampant here and college kids were dying (a perfectly healthy 22 year old girl died of the flu in my town this winter, among three other kids from the local college), my kid didn’t leave the house. My husband showered as soon as he walked through the door and if my sister’s kids so much as sniffled, they ALL went somewhere else until we were SURE they didn’t have the flu. Because, Lil G has “moderate to severe” asthma. Every time he has gotten a respiratory infection it has triggered an attack, and his attacks aren’t little gasps cured by albuterol events. His attacks are days and days of coughing until he’s almost blue and breathing 50-60 breaths a minute, relieved temporarily by the medicine (Duoneb, a second line drug), only to return again as soon as the drugs wear off. Yes, I do EVERYTHING in my power to prevent that. There’s no benefit to his immune system to allowing him to go through that. Also, people with asthma go into respiratory failure and die, so that’s something to avoid.


Thing is, tummy bugs don’t trigger acute asthma attacks. There is some benefit to letting him get those bugs now (to make him more resistant to them when he’s older). Some illness are “the end of the world” and some are not. I don’t think there is anything wrong with acknowledging that and allowing reasonable risk when the reward (spending time with his Nana who he hadn’t seen in months and wouldn’t see again for months) is worth it. Problem is, my husband thinks that makes me a bad mother. Yay!


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