Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Big Changes September 15, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — arminta @ 4:52 am

So, yeah, things… not so great.


Basically, my entire family imploded. My sister came up with the idea that my brother should watch all of her kids. Then she, he and my mother talked about it for a few days without talking to me. They made themselves believe that I would just be hunky dorey fine with 1) having my grocery money completely cut with no notice and 2) losing Ladybug. They also talked themselves into believing that Lil G would be just fine with not seeing “his sister” everyday anymore. They were wrong. Duh.


I, of course, was terribly hurt by all of this. As much at the fact that they all conspired together and didn’t discuss it with me, then when my sister did bring it up it was “Oh hey, did Mom tell you we all discussed this plan that totally fucks over you and your kid?” I mean, I was hurt by the decision, too, but I could have dealt with that if it weren’t handled in such a way that clearly said “You and your family are not important to us” from people who are supposed to love and care for me. Needless to say, I didn’t handle it very well. Initially I did. But then my mom kept calling and wanting to talk about it and when we talked about it I only got more hurt and angry because it was clear as a bell that all she wanted was for me to say “oh yeah, sure it’s fine, I’m not upset with you guys” so she could feel better about the situation. Yeah, that didn’t happen.


So, after she got me all pissed off I let loose on everybody. Then I found out that my Mom relayed everything I said to her back to my siblings. Then she tried to pretend like she wasn’t “taking sides.” Basically, my whole family turned against me and the issue became about my reaction to their betrayal. Of course, I’m crazy and nuts and blah, blah, blah. 


That was a month ago. I’ve seen Ladybug and Lil C twice and Big C once since then. If it weren’t for Lil G I wouldn’t be able to make it right now. 


Today is Ladybug’s birthday, tomorrow is Big C’s birthday. I just want to hug my babies and tell them how much I love them.


But, their mother has decided that hating me is more important than her children’s or my child’s best interests. In her words “they’re little, they’ll adjust to a new normal and forget about each other.”


Except everyday I hear “where is my sister” and “I miss my sister.”


Well, I hate my sister. She is a selfish, hateful bitch and I wish she was never born.