Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

So Confused March 26, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2,Family — arminta @ 2:03 pm

Well, yesterday my temp dipped a little (to 98.1, which is still high for me). The exhaustion and nausea are slightly better. Now, though the nausea is back full force, and it brought it’s good friend heartburn to play.

So, I know the shot is gone by now, I would have thought it was gone a few days, ago, though. So, the change in symptoms is confusing to me. I just wish there was some way to know Yes! Implantation has occured, today.

In other news, I got to babysit my niece H last night. It was so fun to spend time with her, without everyone else being up our keesters. I love my hubs and obviously her parents/grand-parents know her better than I, because they’re always with her. But, I’d like to get to know her, without everybody else popping in their two cents. Maybe she does like gravy in her mashed potatoes, if they’re prepared differently. Maybe she does like to be tossed in the air by some people. Maybe she’s changed her mind about which doll is her favorite today. So, anyway, it was fun to just chill with the H-bug and get to know her for myself. We had a fun time.

OK, I’ve got to go struggle to maintain awakefulness (it’s a word, now) until 6:00pm.

Before I get, the FertilityFriend pregometer is sitting at 97%…


Something New March 24, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2 — arminta @ 5:24 pm

I am so hot. Not like, “I’m gorgeous”, but like “Who turned up the heat, it’s 900 degrees in here.”

I cannot recall ever having been this warm before. I’m sure it’s happened, like when it’s 90 degrees outside or something, but for real, it’s cool out and I’m sweating in short sleeves and capri’s. Normally, I’m the person running a space heater in August.

If this isn’t a sign of successful implantation, I don’t know what is. (In all realness, my temps are running about .3-.4 degrees higher than normal for this time of the month.) I guess we just have to wait for the beta on Monday to find out. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to be peeing on sticks before then, but I don’t think I’ll be able to trust it until Dr. Wonderful says “You are no longer PUPO, just pregnant, start the heparin injections.” That’s when it will be real, FertilityFriend be damned.

Speaking of my whore of a best friend, FertilityFriend, the “are you knocked up predictor” is up to a whopping 93%. Apparently constipation is a good thing. I’m going to have to respectfully disagree. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll gladly be constipated for a year if it means a baby, but I’m not going to call it a good thing.

Now that I’ve openly had hope for not one but three days in a row the universe will punish me swiftly and severely, I’m sure, so feel free to point and laugh when this happens. I’m sure the other shoe is preparing to drop any minute.


Time is Sooooo Slooooowwww March 23, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2 — arminta @ 10:10 am

We are officially 8 dpo. Yes, I am referring to myself using the royal “we.” Besides, I might be a we, so get off me, I’ll do what I want! But for real, could the days until next Sunday be going any slower? I don’t think they could. Unless… No, they are going as slow as is possible.

So, yesterday I had a huge temp spike. I made it all the way to 98.6!! I rarely do that during the day, so that has to be a good sign, right. I was 97.8 on Saturday and 98.6 on Sunday, so something has to have happened. The high temp remains today, so I’m taking that as a sign.

There’s just nothing like spring to make that bitch Hope come out and play. Oh, well, hopes are high now, so be prepared for the inevitable crash, dear internets.

Are we wondering what that whore FertilityFriend has to say on the matter? 82% Which is officially the highest number I’ve gotten at this stage in the game. I give her no credence though. According to her I should have been pregnant many times before. (Yes, I’ve given gender to an emotion and a web site, again, I do what want!)

So now, back to the hope… I realized that I’d not yet posted the multiples math, here’s what we got:

No Baby: 20.00%
Singleton: 80.00%
Twins: 16.00%
Trips: 3.20%
Quads: 0.64%

We have a higher chance of no baby than of twins. Also, yes, I’m aware that there is no mathematical model to predict success, and there’s always a chance for no success. This is based off of the 1 in 5 chance of conceiving on a given normal ovulatory cycle (i.e. one egg, on one side) statistics to decide to go forward or not with the follies we had. Obviously we went forward.

OK, so now a little time has past. Let’s hope more can pass more quickly.


Fighting Urge to POAS March 20, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2 — arminta @ 11:43 am

I know it’s too early. I know the way I’m feeling right now is from the trigger shot. I am fully aware that there is no way I could be pregnant, yet, and the zygote is still in transit from tube to ute and will need a couple days to hunker down once in said ute.

I know these things.

But, I still want to see those two lines NOW. Not on the 31st when that whore FertilityFriend thinks I should and not on the 27th when the nurse thinks I should, but RIGHT FREAKING NOW.


Two Week Wait, I Hate You March 19, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2 — arminta @ 10:00 am

You are so cruel in the way that you slow down time.

You are so mean in the way that you make me think every little thing is a pregnancy sign.

I think you get a big kick out of watching me alternate between hope and despair 6 times an hour.

Suffice it to say, I don’t like you and you’re not my friend (to quote Big C). Unless I’m pregnant, then we can be friends again!


So Sleepy March 16, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2,Infertility — arminta @ 2:01 pm

I literally just slept straight through my lunch hour, and then some. Had my ovaries not woke me up, I might still be asleep. Speaking of the ovaries, OW! When do they stop hurting? My trigger was Saturday night, so I should have o’d at some point during the night last night, but they still hurt like the dickens.

So, I’m guessing the continued pain is probably a good sign, like everything ruptured the way it’s supposed to. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. Two weeks.


What a Long Day! March 14, 2009

Filed under: Clomid Round 2,Family,Infertility — arminta @ 10:17 pm

I have had a very long day today. Made only longer by hot flashes, fatigue and a complete inability to sleep at night when I’m supposed to.

Today started with my psyanky class. Dad came with me, and I’m glad he did. We had a great time and made some beautiful pysanky. Well, my pysanka was OK, it’s still not as good as I’d like it to be. Here I’ll show ya…

Fun, right? Dad’s was good, too. The instructor said his was an excellent first egg.

The instructor was a very sweet lady, and I just love her. Today was the first time we’d ever met, but she was so warm and sweet. We got onto the subject of children (she has seven!) and eventually onto fertility treatments (she has a neice with IVF twins). I shared with her that we were in the midst of treatments. (Yes, that’s right, someone else brought up babies and infertility.) She asked questions and when I told her that we actually have some good news this cycle she was genuinely happy and hugged me. A practical stranger. It really struck me how that’s the reaction I should be getting from our family and friends, or at least those who know what we’re doing. I know I can’t expect more from people than they have to give, but whatever, it was nice to have someone really care for change (not you dear internets, I know you care).

What really struck me though, was the contrast between this strangers reaction and G’s mother’s reaction. Now, I haven’t mentioned G’s mother veyr much on here, and that’s because we don’t speak. At all. There are many reasons, but suffice it to say I don’t like her and she wishes I were dead so there you have it. Anyway, her reaction to our seeking fertility help was essentially that she thought we shouldn’t have children, children ruin your life and she wasn’t going to be tied down because we decided to go out and get knocked up. Oh, and she knows her son doesn’t want children, so that fat bi.tch (that’d be me) must have manipulated him and she was going to talk to him and set him straight. Now, first of all, there was a time when that would have had me ready to claw her eyes out of her head, but I’ve been putting up with this nonsense long enough to just ignore it. Except when it’s tearing my husband apart. He is sincerely hurt that his mother is so well… crazy? I really can’t think of a better word. He’s excited to have a baby, with me of all things. And for her to essentially tell him that he doesn’t really want that, and etc… hurts his feelings. But, according to her the only reason his feelings are hurt is because I’ve manipulated him into hating her. Oi!

Like I said, long day…