Lil G had his 30 month checkup this week. 30 months. I can hardly believe it. The days are long, but the years are short as hell. It’s time to start planning the birthday party, already. The appointment, though, that’s what we’re here to talk about. Because it went well. Mostly.
Starters: we haven’t had Ladybug all week (they haz the stomach yuckies over there, so we’re in quarantine mode), so Mr. Boy was a little hungry for socialization. In the waiting room he walked up to ALL of the kids and said “Hi mine name G, what’s you name?” until he found a kid that would play with him. (Which was shockingly difficult.) He played with that kid until we were called back. When we were called back he told the nurse he was a big boy and he could take off his shoes “by mine big self.” And he did. Then he hopped right on the big boy scale (35.4lbs) and stood still for his height measurement (37in). Then he told the nurse “mine big feet make me run fast” and he ran down the hall to the room. Where he cut up and acted a mess while the poor nurse tried to get his vitals. When she gave him a gown to change into he told her he was a leopard seal and he didn’t want to get naked because he didn’t want Dr Tall to see his privates. Because penises and butts are privates. And nobody is allowed to touch privates. And his penis is private. (I really wish he felt this way at home.) Then he got down on the floor and acted like a seal then hid under the chair until the doctor came in. I was left to fill out papers (does your baby stand on one foot? does he draw a line? does he repeat words back to you? can he name seven body parts? etc…) which seemed a little pointless. But, whatevs.
Then Dr Tall came in and talked a minute and Lil G popped out of his hiding place to show the Dr his “big claws” when the doc asked if he was a cat (duh, no, BIG claws) he said “no, mine is a polar bear.” Then he started pretending to be a leopard seal again. (Mind you, he’s not a gray seal or a sea lion or an elephant seal. He’s a LEOPARD seal and don’t you dare get it wrong.) While he was doing that we talked about sleep. On that issue, I was given a pass (although he did write down my words “the boy is allergic to sleep”) and told hey 9 hours of daily sleep is better than 7. (But, I wanted him to tell me how to get this kid to sleep 12 hours a day like a normal toddler!!!!) Then he did the physical exam, where G informed him that his penis is private (and I reminded G that Dr Tall is allowed to touch his privates when Mommy or Daddy are in the room). He let the doctor both hold and tickle him, which was STRANGE. He doesn’t let a lot of people pick him up. And, he gave him a high five. I think he knew there were no shots coming. Anyhoo, during the physical exam Dr Tall asked about learning stuff and said he was at about a four year old level as far as counting and letter recognition etc… and a 3.5-4 year old level with the imagination play and a 4 year old level with language. Then my 30 month old told the doctor that “orcas do eat leopard seals and them live in the cold ocean because that is them habitat” and I was all “woo hoo I’m the shit!” in my head.
But, Dr Tall had a bomb to drop. My kid is overweight (according to the BMI chart). His BMI is 18.5, placing him in the 94th percentile. Exsqueeze me? Baking Soda? You can see his ribs. Yes, he still has some baby pudge in the cheeks. He’s definitely not anorexic looking, nor does he look fat. He looks… healthy, normal, strong, well fed. So, the doctor asked about his diet. Hmm, yogurt and fruit for brekkie (what kind of fruit? apples, strawberries, or blackberries “see mine do have blackberries in my fingers, cause mine made a mess while mommy was in the shower!”). Usually a tomato and cuke salad along with either a veg and protein or leftovers for lunch. And dinner is typically more salad, and a meal with LOTS of veggies and some meat stretched with rice or veggies and meat. Oh, and he eats avocados for snacks. This is apparently the source of his “obesity.” (“Well, it’s good fat, but avocados do have a lot of fat.” No, shit. They’re also brain food.) I left out the part where he still takes a bottle to bed and is drinking 3 8-oz servings of 2% milk every day. Dr Tall thinks we need to cut down to skim (ew) milk to combat all of that avocado fat.
This is fat?
This is honestly the first time I’ve had a strong disagreement with Dr Tall. But, it is strong. Because? I am obese. I grew up obese. Lil G will not. Although, I know that with two obese parents he is 80% more likely to be an obese adult, than if we were not.
But, now I am questioning myself… am I feeding him right? We do go out to eat 3-4 times a month. He does get chocolate 3-4 times a month. Those things aren’t good, but I’ve viewed them as “occasional treats. Maybe weekly isn’t really occasional. We don’t eat potatoes at home, so I do let him eat fries when we’re out, maybe I shouldn’t.
On the other hand… he’s two and doesn’t look fat to me and he eats veggies, so maybe I should just ignore the damn chart that doesn’t take into consideration that he’s built like a brick shithouse?