Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Diet and Budget April 15, 2013

I don’t know about you guys, but I feel out of control when my diet and budget are off. I can manage for a bit without being too strict, or so I think, then BAM! into the overdraft and gained 10 pounds. Of course, I am not naive enough to believe that it really happened that suddenly, but it still seems to come out of left field all the same.

 

So, I am recommitting. Especially given that our income is lower now (boo!) due to the boys not coming here in the afternoon anymore and my having taken a “vacation” from my Etsy shop for a couple of months. Don’t get me wrong, both of those things were necessary at the time, but I’m feeling ready to pick back up and get back to work. Also, I really hope the boys come back here for the summer. I miss them like crazy. The world is far too quiet without them. OK, I don’t miss the fighting… but, I miss THEM all the same 🙂

 

The budget is getting back on track. I had “relaxed” myself into a little hole, but thankfully, it wasn’t a big hole! The diet is far more concerning. Because? I eat what I consider to be really healthy (almost exclusively homemade, about half organic, no HFCS, no trans fat, no GMO (when possible, obviously the lack of labeling means probably we do consume SOME GMO’s), grass fed meat when possible, minimal white flour/sugar, essentially whole, clean food). Until recently, I also didn’t think portions were an issue. But… when my prednisone bumped up to 30mg, my portions went crazy. Like crazy. I find myself ALWAYS wanting to snack. Right now. I want to snack. And a BIG glass of milk. So, this one is going to be harder. I’ve decided to go ahead and do a food budget! Yes, that just means tracking what I eat and trying to control the calories. So, no, it’s nothing new. But, calling it a budget will trick me into following it, right? We’ll see.

 

My point, I may decide to to some budget and diet updates for accountability sake. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

 

Fat Boy March 7, 2013

Filed under: Baby G,My Fat Ass — arminta @ 6:53 pm
Tags: , , ,

Lil G had his 30 month checkup this week. 30 months. I can hardly believe it. The days are long, but the years are short as hell. It’s time to start planning the birthday party, already. The appointment, though, that’s what we’re here to talk about. Because it went well. Mostly.

 

Starters: we haven’t had Ladybug all week (they haz the stomach yuckies over there, so we’re in quarantine mode), so Mr. Boy was a little hungry for socialization. In the waiting room he walked up to ALL of the kids and said “Hi mine name G, what’s you name?” until he found a kid that would play with him. (Which was shockingly difficult.) He played with that kid until we were called back. When we were called back he told the nurse he was a big boy and he could take off his shoes “by mine big self.” And he did. Then he hopped right on the big boy scale (35.4lbs) and stood still for his height measurement (37in). Then he told the nurse “mine big feet make me run fast” and he ran down the hall to the room. Where he cut up and acted a mess while the poor nurse tried to get his vitals. When she gave him a gown to change into he told her he was a leopard seal and he didn’t want to get naked because he didn’t want Dr Tall to see his privates. Because penises and butts are privates. And nobody is allowed to touch privates. And his penis is private. (I really wish he felt this way at home.) Then he got down on the floor and acted like a seal then hid under the chair until the doctor came in. I was left to fill out papers (does your baby stand on one foot? does he draw a line? does he repeat words back to you? can he name seven body parts? etc…) which seemed a little pointless. But, whatevs.

 

Then Dr Tall came in and talked a minute and Lil G popped out of his hiding place to show the Dr his “big claws” when the doc asked if he was a cat (duh, no, BIG claws) he said “no, mine is a polar bear.” Then he started pretending to be a leopard seal again. (Mind you, he’s not a gray seal or a sea lion or an elephant seal. He’s a LEOPARD seal and don’t you dare get it wrong.) While he was doing that we talked about sleep. On that issue, I was given a pass (although he did write down my  words “the boy is allergic to sleep”) and told hey 9 hours of daily sleep is better than 7. (But, I wanted him to tell me how to get this kid to sleep 12 hours a day like a normal toddler!!!!) Then he did the physical exam, where G informed him that his penis is private (and I reminded G that Dr Tall is allowed to touch his privates when Mommy or Daddy are in the room). He let the doctor both hold and tickle him, which was STRANGE. He doesn’t let a lot of people pick him up. And, he gave him a high five. I think he knew there were no shots coming. Anyhoo, during the physical exam Dr Tall asked about learning stuff and said he was at about a four year old level as far as counting and letter recognition etc… and a 3.5-4 year old level with the imagination play and a 4 year old level with language. Then my 30 month old told the doctor that “orcas do eat leopard seals and them live in the cold ocean because that is them habitat” and I was all “woo hoo I’m the shit!” in my head.

 

But, Dr Tall had a bomb to drop. My kid is overweight (according to the BMI chart). His BMI is 18.5, placing him in the 94th percentile. Exsqueeze me? Baking Soda? You can see his ribs. Yes, he still has some baby pudge in the cheeks. He’s definitely not anorexic looking, nor does he look fat. He looks… healthy, normal, strong, well fed. So, the doctor asked about his diet. Hmm, yogurt and fruit for brekkie (what kind of fruit? apples, strawberries, or blackberries “see mine do have blackberries in my fingers, cause mine made a mess while mommy was in the shower!”). Usually a tomato and cuke salad along with either a veg and protein or leftovers for lunch. And dinner is typically more salad, and a meal with LOTS of veggies and some meat stretched with rice or veggies and meat. Oh, and he eats avocados for snacks. This is apparently the source of his “obesity.” (“Well, it’s good fat, but avocados do have a lot of fat.” No, shit. They’re also brain food.) I left out the part where he still takes a bottle to bed and is drinking 3 8-oz servings of 2% milk every day. Dr Tall thinks we need to cut down to skim (ew) milk to combat all of that avocado fat.

This is fat?

 

This is honestly the first time I’ve had a strong disagreement with Dr Tall. But, it is strong. Because? I am obese. I grew up obese. Lil G will not. Although, I know that with two obese parents he is 80% more likely to be an obese adult, than if we were not.

 

But, now I am questioning myself… am I feeding him right? We do go out to eat 3-4 times a month. He does get chocolate 3-4 times a month. Those things aren’t good, but I’ve viewed them as “occasional treats. Maybe weekly isn’t really occasional. We don’t eat potatoes at home, so I do let him eat fries when we’re out, maybe I shouldn’t.

 

On the other hand… he’s two and doesn’t look fat to me and he eats veggies, so maybe I should just ignore the damn chart that doesn’t take into consideration that he’s built like a brick shithouse?

 

It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s a Bad Blogger! July 4, 2012

Oh hey look, it’s that crap blogger who only seems to write when she wants to bitch or brag!

 

Well, that wasn’t very nice… True, maybe, but still!

 

OK, so I’m sorry for being such a bad friend. I am still having a hard time with my bloggity mojo (duh!). But, also, I do feel so much better about things when I’m writing on the regular. Ya’ll are like my pensieve. I guess that would make me a very unimportant Albus Dumbledore with Appalachian roots. (This is where those of you with family in the hollar say “I don’t reckon!” and then we laugh at the people who don’t hail from Kentucky because they don’t have any clue what we’re talking about!)

 

Gee whiz, where was I? Oh, yeah, non-bitchy updates 🙂 I think bullets are in order!

  • Right this very minute my G’s are at the mall with Aunt C. Which I’m cool with. My feelings are still very hurt over the way things went down. G says she was crying today and saying she misses me. It’s very confusing. I miss her. I miss that side of the family. We were friends. Good friends. But, I don’t know if this is a fixable rip or not. I’ve told G that she will have to make the first move. I simply cannot.
  • That wasn’t bitching.
  • Everyone is finally better! After our adeno exploits (literally, we were not all the way over the adeno, yet) poor Mr. G came down with Hand, Foot and Mouth (I am very mature, as you well know, and had much fun calling it the cock-suckie virus when talking to G and no children were around) THEN! before that was gone he got Chicken Pox, too! And, G and H INSISTED we keep the kids separated this time, too and guess what? Both babies got both illnesses. What a waste. I would have rather kept them together. But, Ladybug got the pox pretty badly for having been vaccinated. G only got 3 pox total (he’s also vaccinated). But, now, they are both better! And have been for like a week! Yay!
  • “You should totally write about vaccines and your opinions thereof” said No One, ever. But, I think I might anyway;)
  • Another post no one cares about, but I feel the need to write? I’m giving up… on trying to cure myself with food. Meaning? I’m back on the Weight Watchers band wagon. If you are also on WW, let’s totally hang out and eat imaginary chocolate while discussing Points Plus values.
  • Weight loss has become health priority one. Because? It’s one I actually have some amount of control over. I had leetle revelation about myself, health and weight recently. Still lacking the “something” to do much with it… but, am working on it.
  • My mom was a bit less than 10 years older than I am now when Big C was born. I am an old mama. I am gonna be a really old grandma (hopefully). This body has to last. I have to take better care of it.
  • I cut my own hair, and… it’s one of my all time favorite haircuts. For realz. It was like 3am and I couldn’t sleep, so I Youtube’d some “cut your own hair” video’s. Thinking? I’ll mess it up and HAVE to get it fixed, thus forcing me to get out and get my unruly ass locks under control. But? LOVE my self cut.
  • Seriously considering dying my hair cotton candy pink. Because? I can.
  • Lil G is almost 2!!! This Sesame Street party is going to be epic! I’ve decided to just invite people and if no one shows again (no kids, other than the C’s, showed for his 1st party) then we’ll still have fun. I’m letting go of the nonsense. I really I could invite ya’ll. I think the drive is just too long for Jack and Ginny and Gremlin, though 😦
  • If you disagree, or have always wanted to visit Ohio in August, by all means let me know. Because I’m serious about wishing there was a feasible way to let our bloggity babes get to know our bloggity friends’ bloggity babes.
  • I think I’m gonna take a nap.

 

 

Feeling a Little Better & a Little Worse March 31, 2012

Better:

Being spring break and all, I finally bit the dust and conquered three rooms of my house. The kitchen, living room and bathroom are CLEAN, yo! My mom came on Thursday and pulled out the appliances and whatnot in the kitchen and got it really clean, even in the “invisible” spaces. Then she helped me flip over my heavy arse living room furniture, so we could clean under there, too. I found ALL the missing toys. Poor Bert’s been under there since Thanksgiving! So, I feel so much better about the house. It no longer feels like this:

 

Also, I did go food shopping and bought the stuff to make five of the Pinterest meals I was salivating over the most. So far one was awful and two were great. When these meals are gone, I’m going to start my juice fast. The hubs is in complete agreement on this plan. So, next week I’ll be back on the juice wagon.

 

I think I mentioned that I stopped the Arava. Which was the breeding un-friendly drug. We have decided to still spend a couple of months actively preventing, then we’ll re-address. Or, as I like to phrase it, we should have listened to Mrs. Gamgee in the first darn place!

 

Worse:

Holy sickballs, Batman! I freaking hate being sick. I have been sick less than normal, though, what with not interacting with the public on the daily anymore and actually building some kind of immune system with my juicer. But, this latest bug got me and Baby G square in the ears, nose and throat. He was really bad for a couple of days (wouldn’t eat of drink, getting on the verge of needing IV fluids), but thankfully forcing water and medicine down his throat seemed to have worked, because he’s drinking today and less cranky pants. He’s napping now, and has been down 2 hours, which is twice as long as he napped yesterday, so fingers crossed he’s on the mend. Because I am not. I feel asstastic! Gonna take a nap myself I think when the hubs gets home.

 

The brokeness is wearing thin. I miss having disposable income. Less than 2 years until the big credit card is paid off, though, then we will have money again. Hanging in there…

 

Eating Should Be Easier November 2, 2011

Filed under: Baby G,Diet,My Fat Ass — arminta @ 12:14 am
Tags: , , , ,

Yes, yes, I know eating is easy. Trust me, I got lots of ass testifying to the fact that I know eating is easy. However, that abundance of rump is also my evidence that knowing what to eat can be very, very complicated.

Recently I embarked on a 10 day juice fast. At the end, I felt pretty good. My RA was not terrible. I had lost a good deal of weight. It did me right. But, only a few days after my fast ended I was in the accident and all (yes, ALL) benefits were immediately nullified. At this point my RA is right back where it was, and my weight is darn close (and it came on OVERNIGHT which = water weight). After the juice fast it was my intention to maintain a primarily veggie/vegan’ish diet. I was going to allow a couple of meals a week for splurges but the majority of meals were to be plant based.

Not only was that my intention, it’s what I did. Really. No, really. Yes, in the time immediately following the accident we had a few more splurge meals than I prefer to admit, but… as soon as I was able we were back to mama making salads for dinner every night and the splurges were cut back to truly 2-3 meals a week. Proof of this? My husband has lost 35 pounds in the last month. I have not.

So, what conclusion do I draw from this information? It would appear the plant centric diet doesn’t really agree with my body. But, but, but!!! There is so much evidence that plant diets are good and omni diets are bad, right? Meat causes acidosis and bone erosion, no? Casein has been PROVEN to grow cancer?!?!?!?!?

Well, I suppose that depends on who you ask. See, I was rather addicted to nutrition documentaries for a while and they all agreed: vegan = good, meat = death. So, I tried. I really tried. Sure, I don’t want to die young and I do want better health, but my primary motivation is giving Baby G the best possible diet from the start. I want him used to the healthiest foods. I want him to have everything he needs to grow up strong and healthy. I want him to have a mama that can play and will live to see his kids.

So, how do we get there? What the hell do I eat to 1) lose weight and 2) improve my health and 3) set a good example for my little man?

I don’t know, either. But, I’m working on it.

 

A Really Boring List That I Will Totally Understand If You Don’t Read December 13, 2010

The babies are both sleeping! So here is a quick update on the haps at casa Minta!

 

  • After thinking about it constantly for a couple of days, I did decide to test. It was negative. Well, G says it was negative. I am insane and always see some kind of shadow line. Well, this time it was there, then it wasn’t, then it came back. Which means I am insane. Because even when I don’t really-really-really want to see a line, apparently my brain still wants to see a line.
  • I will be 31 on Wednesday. Boo! But also, yay. I’m feeling a little odd about my birthday this year.
  • Enbrel has been restarted. RA relief has happened almost immediately. Oh, right, I never told you… I have been having the worst RA pain of my life since about 8 weeks postpartum. I have been living on the steroids, which has slowed the weight loss way the heck down 😦 So, I saw the rheumy and now am back on the drugs. Am starting to feel better already. She had thought it might take months…
  • Prednisone step down here we come!
  • Hopefully weight loss will pick back up.
  • Have now lost 72 pounds! Which is only two pounds since last time I told you, a month ago. Hence the joy at the pednisone going way.
  • Wii Fit has been resumed. I was too fat for it for a while (even not pregnant…) but now am back on track with it!
 

An End is In Sight August 25, 2010

K, I’m  cheater and I’ve decided that even though this is about yesterday… it’s still “my day in great detail” so welcome to both an update AND day 25 of the 30 day blog journal.

So, I had a big day yesterday. I had an appointment with DW, then I got to come home and deal with plumbers, then I got to talk to a restoration company, then I made dinner (got shot down for sex anyway) and then I had to stick a bunch of pills up my cooter. Guess which part was the most fun?!?!?!

The hell? you ask.

Well, let’s start at the beginning. I woke up and took a shower, because you know, when doctors are going to be in your bits, the bits should be clean. While I was in the shower, G went to the basement. Probably to rub it in my face that he’s allowed up and down stairs and I’m not. But, he found a surprise down there… Standing water! Coming back up though the drain hole in the floor, and the old potty that doesn’t work in the corner. Gross!!! Because as we know water coming from those two places isn’t JUST water, it’s dunh, dunh, dunh… sewage. Eww! OK, I didn’t know that, but G kindly explained it to me.

So, he comes back upstairs and tells me not to freak and get my pressure all jacked up, but I need to not ask to be induced, because I need to come home and call plumbers and shit. To which I say, “fuck that, yo’ mama can let in the plumber, shiiit.” ‘Cause I am ghetto fab at 8am. So he’s all, “O-Kay, but I don’t think you fully grasp the situation down there.” But, we had no more time to argue. He had to go to work and I had to go the doctors office.

And, I did. But first, I needed an NST. Apparently, mah baybee knows how to hide his heart in my fat very effectively, because the poor nurse had to hold the doppler the whole time. Unfortunately, she rendered the contraction monitor useless, but I didn’t bitch about it, because he was being very assy and moving on her a lot. It took an hour to get 20 minutes of him on the monitor. It took 10 minutes to get 10 kicks. I tried explaining that 9:30am was playtime, and we’d be better off to do the AFI first, but I am only dumb patient, so I was overruled. After the NST I went over the u/s room for an AFI and his fluid was up to 10 from 8.5. So hunky dorrey there. Also of note, my BP was 113/89.

I was devastated. There was no way with yummy squirmy baby, and improved fluids and damn near normal BP readings that DW was going to induce me now. Motha Flipaship!

But… I headed up the musty old elevators anyway. I called G and told him the news and he was thrilled because “major plumbing emergency” blah, blah, blah… Then I peed in a cup, because that’s what I do at DW’s office. Then a nurse told me I looked like shit. Well, she actually might have said “Oh honey, you look tired” but I heard “Gee whiz, bitch, what’d you do? Sleep in a dumpster?” Then she dipped my pee and took my BP.Which was… 149/103. The fuck? She asked how I was feeling and I told her I was losing my mind in the bed and I was losing my identity and the days were running together, turns out she just wanted to know about headaches and blurred vision. So, I gave her the short story: yes and no.

Then DW came in, looked at my chart and said “let’s have a baby, get nekkid” and I was “oooh, finally somebody wants to do me” but he just wanted to check mt cervix. At this point I feel I should note: I was going to have a baby yesterday if only that bitch cervix would play ball. Obviously the fact that I’m writing that instead of, “look, shiny new baby” means that my cervix is a sell out whore. I don’t know how much G paid her to double cross me, but I’m going to make her pay…

Anyhoo, DW checked the cervix and while I was “a tad” dilated, she was long and firm. Which is kick ass awesome from weeks like 4-34. But she should now be ripening on her own. I think this assumption is based on ladies that are getting a steady supply of prostaglandins, this lady is not. So DW starts thinking out loud (still wrist deep in my snatch, BTW) about our options. I swear he was tickling the baby’s head, whatever he was doing, it hurt. He was saying things like “we need to find a good reason to deliver, but the cervix just isn’t favorable, but the BP is all over the map, but we don’t want to end up doing a c-section.” He then pulled his hand out of my cooch and recommended that I come back on Friday and do another NST and he’d check my cervix again. He also told me to try some techniques to help ripen my cervix, specifically Evening Primrose oil taken orally and poon-erly. As I can’t exactly put the cervix in a paper bag on the counter, like a pear (yes, I envision my cervix as a rock hard pear), I had to come home and google additional ways to ripen it.

I did stop and get the EPO and some new lip balm. Unfortunately, lip balm had lanolin in it and yeah, now my lips itch and the skin is peeling off! Fucking lanolin!

Then I came home and had to call the plumber. The plumber got there in like 40 minutes! Hooray. And he was nice! And he fixed my slow running tub, and, you know, the problem causing the sewage in the basement for only like $300. The plumber kicked ass. Apparently, we had tree roots in the main drain. I don’t know how that’s possible, but, ’tis what he said. He cleaned up his mess and called a lady who specializes in this kind of clean up for me. Again, hooray plumber!

Then I had to call G with an update. He was not so pleased with having a cleanup specialist come by. So, he came up with a Plan B and Plan C and stressed my shit out calling me every few minutes to talk about it. Grrr… Yeah, I did not want to deal with it anymore for another hour until the lady came. Turns out the situation down there was not as bad as I was envisioning and but the restoration chick wants $1,700 up front, and requires a bunch of work after the fact to replace the carpet. So, now, G is going to do the cleanup himself. But, the restoration lady stayed a long time and put on a strong sales pitch.

Then I made dinner when she left. It was OK. G really liked it. So, I mentioned that I did some research on cervix ripening and I need to bathe the cervix in prostaglandins and he happened to have a very good source of prostaglandins and oxytocin. He decided to go shopping instead. Ouch! Shot down.

So, I got out the breast pump for a Plan B. Because you know breast pump, sex, same diff, right?

Then my Mom called to talk about my sisters shower. So I told her how I’d have the cake, diaper cake and my presents etc… delivered Thursday night or Friday morning. Apparently she also is unaware that PIH/Pre-eclampsia are not just for fat people. I had to remind her that what I have used to be called toxemia and she had it with me and she was not this fat, so this is not a direct result of my being too fat to have a baby.

Then G came back from shopping and I proposed getting fresh again… but unfortunately he was not game. Apparently my pregnant ass grosses him out and he’s not interested in actual sex with me. Whatever… I have more to say, but won’t because I’m just ragging because my feelings are hurt.

Deciding that I still needed to get some prostaglandins on my cervix I stuck three Evening Primrose Oil pills up my pillbox and went to bed.