Life Family and the Pursuit of Sanity

or… adventures in infertility and babies and family drama!

Diet and Budget April 15, 2013

I don’t know about you guys, but I feel out of control when my diet and budget are off. I can manage for a bit without being too strict, or so I think, then BAM! into the overdraft and gained 10 pounds. Of course, I am not naive enough to believe that it really happened that suddenly, but it still seems to come out of left field all the same.

 

So, I am recommitting. Especially given that our income is lower now (boo!) due to the boys not coming here in the afternoon anymore and my having taken a “vacation” from my Etsy shop for a couple of months. Don’t get me wrong, both of those things were necessary at the time, but I’m feeling ready to pick back up and get back to work. Also, I really hope the boys come back here for the summer. I miss them like crazy. The world is far too quiet without them. OK, I don’t miss the fighting… but, I miss THEM all the same 🙂

 

The budget is getting back on track. I had “relaxed” myself into a little hole, but thankfully, it wasn’t a big hole! The diet is far more concerning. Because? I eat what I consider to be really healthy (almost exclusively homemade, about half organic, no HFCS, no trans fat, no GMO (when possible, obviously the lack of labeling means probably we do consume SOME GMO’s), grass fed meat when possible, minimal white flour/sugar, essentially whole, clean food). Until recently, I also didn’t think portions were an issue. But… when my prednisone bumped up to 30mg, my portions went crazy. Like crazy. I find myself ALWAYS wanting to snack. Right now. I want to snack. And a BIG glass of milk. So, this one is going to be harder. I’ve decided to go ahead and do a food budget! Yes, that just means tracking what I eat and trying to control the calories. So, no, it’s nothing new. But, calling it a budget will trick me into following it, right? We’ll see.

 

My point, I may decide to to some budget and diet updates for accountability sake. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Advertisements
 

All My Fault March 15, 2013

Filed under: Baby G,Marriage — arminta @ 4:15 pm
Tags: , , , ,

So, Mom has come and gone. We had a good visit, but it had to end and now Am.Sad. Easter Part 1 was pretty fun. There were mishaps (as there always are), but overall it was good. We did Kool-Aid egg dying, and had a hunt and ate ham and the Easter bunny stopped by Nana’s early because he heard she wasn’t going to be home on Easter Day. Also, we had a talk with the 9 year old about just playing along with shit like that so the littles (including his crazy gullible almost 6 year old brother) get to have a childhood. Good stuff.

 

Of course, as happens with four children we had a lot of sickness, too. A tummy bug and pink eye made their rounds. Which has caused no end of grief to me. Not because of eye goop and puking, that I can handle. No, because now Lil G is sick. I made the choice to take him around children that I knew might still be contagious because his grandmother wasn’t going to see him for weeks and weeks, then he got sick. The words “I hold you and your bad decisions as a mother responsible for this” were spoken. Not sure how to handle this one, yet.

 

I do get it. It’s miserable seeing the little guy sick. He’s miserable, I’m cleaning up puke, Daddy might get sick, too. Not a good situation. If it was a normal situation where he was going to see Nana again in a week or two, I’d probably not have risked it. Probably. Because also… he’s two, this is the time to let their immune systems build. I’m not saying intentionally expose them to germs or anything, but they can’t be kept in a bubble, either. Most viruses are contagious before they are symptomatic, so, by the time the puking begins it may be too late to stop the spread, anyway.

 

My lackadaisical attitude about the current illness of doom appears to be the main thorn in the husband’s side. Except, I don’t feel that my attitude is uncaring at all. I feel I’m being practical. When the flu was rampant here and college kids were dying (a perfectly healthy 22 year old girl died of the flu in my town this winter, among three other kids from the local college), my kid didn’t leave the house. My husband showered as soon as he walked through the door and if my sister’s kids so much as sniffled, they ALL went somewhere else until we were SURE they didn’t have the flu. Because, Lil G has “moderate to severe” asthma. Every time he has gotten a respiratory infection it has triggered an attack, and his attacks aren’t little gasps cured by albuterol events. His attacks are days and days of coughing until he’s almost blue and breathing 50-60 breaths a minute, relieved temporarily by the medicine (Duoneb, a second line drug), only to return again as soon as the drugs wear off. Yes, I do EVERYTHING in my power to prevent that. There’s no benefit to his immune system to allowing him to go through that. Also, people with asthma go into respiratory failure and die, so that’s something to avoid.

 

Thing is, tummy bugs don’t trigger acute asthma attacks. There is some benefit to letting him get those bugs now (to make him more resistant to them when he’s older). Some illness are “the end of the world” and some are not. I don’t think there is anything wrong with acknowledging that and allowing reasonable risk when the reward (spending time with his Nana who he hadn’t seen in months and wouldn’t see again for months) is worth it. Problem is, my husband thinks that makes me a bad mother. Yay!

 

Fat Boy March 7, 2013

Filed under: Baby G,My Fat Ass — arminta @ 6:53 pm
Tags: , , ,

Lil G had his 30 month checkup this week. 30 months. I can hardly believe it. The days are long, but the years are short as hell. It’s time to start planning the birthday party, already. The appointment, though, that’s what we’re here to talk about. Because it went well. Mostly.

 

Starters: we haven’t had Ladybug all week (they haz the stomach yuckies over there, so we’re in quarantine mode), so Mr. Boy was a little hungry for socialization. In the waiting room he walked up to ALL of the kids and said “Hi mine name G, what’s you name?” until he found a kid that would play with him. (Which was shockingly difficult.) He played with that kid until we were called back. When we were called back he told the nurse he was a big boy and he could take off his shoes “by mine big self.” And he did. Then he hopped right on the big boy scale (35.4lbs) and stood still for his height measurement (37in). Then he told the nurse “mine big feet make me run fast” and he ran down the hall to the room. Where he cut up and acted a mess while the poor nurse tried to get his vitals. When she gave him a gown to change into he told her he was a leopard seal and he didn’t want to get naked because he didn’t want Dr Tall to see his privates. Because penises and butts are privates. And nobody is allowed to touch privates. And his penis is private. (I really wish he felt this way at home.) Then he got down on the floor and acted like a seal then hid under the chair until the doctor came in. I was left to fill out papers (does your baby stand on one foot? does he draw a line? does he repeat words back to you? can he name seven body parts? etc…) which seemed a little pointless. But, whatevs.

 

Then Dr Tall came in and talked a minute and Lil G popped out of his hiding place to show the Dr his “big claws” when the doc asked if he was a cat (duh, no, BIG claws) he said “no, mine is a polar bear.” Then he started pretending to be a leopard seal again. (Mind you, he’s not a gray seal or a sea lion or an elephant seal. He’s a LEOPARD seal and don’t you dare get it wrong.) While he was doing that we talked about sleep. On that issue, I was given a pass (although he did write down my  words “the boy is allergic to sleep”) and told hey 9 hours of daily sleep is better than 7. (But, I wanted him to tell me how to get this kid to sleep 12 hours a day like a normal toddler!!!!) Then he did the physical exam, where G informed him that his penis is private (and I reminded G that Dr Tall is allowed to touch his privates when Mommy or Daddy are in the room). He let the doctor both hold and tickle him, which was STRANGE. He doesn’t let a lot of people pick him up. And, he gave him a high five. I think he knew there were no shots coming. Anyhoo, during the physical exam Dr Tall asked about learning stuff and said he was at about a four year old level as far as counting and letter recognition etc… and a 3.5-4 year old level with the imagination play and a 4 year old level with language. Then my 30 month old told the doctor that “orcas do eat leopard seals and them live in the cold ocean because that is them habitat” and I was all “woo hoo I’m the shit!” in my head.

 

But, Dr Tall had a bomb to drop. My kid is overweight (according to the BMI chart). His BMI is 18.5, placing him in the 94th percentile. Exsqueeze me? Baking Soda? You can see his ribs. Yes, he still has some baby pudge in the cheeks. He’s definitely not anorexic looking, nor does he look fat. He looks… healthy, normal, strong, well fed. So, the doctor asked about his diet. Hmm, yogurt and fruit for brekkie (what kind of fruit? apples, strawberries, or blackberries “see mine do have blackberries in my fingers, cause mine made a mess while mommy was in the shower!”). Usually a tomato and cuke salad along with either a veg and protein or leftovers for lunch. And dinner is typically more salad, and a meal with LOTS of veggies and some meat stretched with rice or veggies and meat. Oh, and he eats avocados for snacks. This is apparently the source of his “obesity.” (“Well, it’s good fat, but avocados do have a lot of fat.” No, shit. They’re also brain food.) I left out the part where he still takes a bottle to bed and is drinking 3 8-oz servings of 2% milk every day. Dr Tall thinks we need to cut down to skim (ew) milk to combat all of that avocado fat.

This is fat?

 

This is honestly the first time I’ve had a strong disagreement with Dr Tall. But, it is strong. Because? I am obese. I grew up obese. Lil G will not. Although, I know that with two obese parents he is 80% more likely to be an obese adult, than if we were not.

 

But, now I am questioning myself… am I feeding him right? We do go out to eat 3-4 times a month. He does get chocolate 3-4 times a month. Those things aren’t good, but I’ve viewed them as “occasional treats. Maybe weekly isn’t really occasional. We don’t eat potatoes at home, so I do let him eat fries when we’re out, maybe I shouldn’t.

 

On the other hand… he’s two and doesn’t look fat to me and he eats veggies, so maybe I should just ignore the damn chart that doesn’t take into consideration that he’s built like a brick shithouse?

 

Ideas: Check December 30, 2012

Filed under: Blogging — arminta @ 3:00 am
Tags: , , , ,

Everyday I have little snippets of ideas that cause me to think “that would be a good blog post.” Every night by the time I can actually sit down and write I cannot for the life of me remember any of them. I’m about to start resorting to writing them on my arms. But, then how will I justify telling the kids “we only write on paper” 943 times a day?

 

Here are some of the things I THINK I was going to write about today, though…

  • My husband is in dire need of something new to fret over. Give me some suggestions. When we were dating he was constantly worried that I was pregnant (hah!). Then he spent a few years obsessing of his own health (cancer scares were a weekly thing for us, then). Next was the infertility anxiety, which coupled itself with money stress. Luckily, he took a small hiatus from the crazy train after Baby G was born and those were good months. Now, however, he has moved on to Baby G’s health. It is driving me mad. He wants to wake the baby and take him to the ER every.single.night. because he does shit like roll over and breath differently at different times. When I’m not talking him out of a late night ER run, I’m having to explain that he doesn’t need albuterol for every cough and reassure him that the baby does not have lead poisoning or autism. (Please don’t think I’m making fun of the unfortunate families who are actually dealing with any of these very real issues, this is actually VERY serious.) It’s not a Munchausen by Proxy situation, he isn’t trying to fool or trick anyone. It’s more Hypochondria by Proxy, as he genuinely believes all of these things. So, anyway, I need something new for him to fret and fuss and hyper-analyze, because I’m fairly certain that all of this anxiety over his (generally good, save a little asthma) health isn’t good for Baby G. Or my marriage.
  • My Mamaw’s dementia is getting much, much worse. We had Christmas for her over there today and it weren’t pretty. On the other hand, all of her delusions would make for a very interesting novel. Also, just a quick little piece of advice for anyone who may be dealing with a loved one with dementia… if they speak of someone in the present tense, that person IS ALIVE (regardless of whether they’ve been dead 10 years or not). They got to forget that the love of their life died, even if only for a day. There’s not need to upset them and make them live that loss again. (Can you tell that someone made the mistake of telling her my Papaw was dead when she asked about him accused him of having a girlfriend?)
  • I’m pretty sure toy makers know that they’re making toys for parents, not kids. And also, the castle Baby G got for Christmas is Suh-Wheat! And also, I’ve spent a lot of time playing castle over the past week 🙂
  • Remind me sometime to tell you why I don’t take the kids out as much as I’d like to…
  • Crafts ‘n Shit: I made some really cool canvases for Christmas. Of course, I took 0 photos of the process, but I was totally going to tell you all about it.
  • Debating about closing the Etsy shop, or at least not selling finished goods anymore. Not that ya’ll care, but this kind of is my diary/journal.
  • Who gives a shit what people thought 100 years ago? (In response to all of these “the perfect woman in 1912/1913” essays floating about the interwebs.)

I don’t even remember the point/punchline to the castle one. It wasn’t just selling the castle. Although, should Fisher Price like to pay me, I’d be more than glad to endorse it, because it is freaking awesome.

 

See, I told you I have lots of ideas… Maybe one day I’ll form one of them into a topical post.

 

Oh My… Fail July 29, 2012

Filed under: The Fear — arminta @ 12:18 am
Tags: , , ,

Yeah, so my un-messing agenda lasted all of one day last week. Fail! Will have to work harder next week.

 

Part of the reason for the fail, though, was soul crushing fatigue on Friday and Today. For those of you keeping track at home, that’s CD22. Also, for those of you keeping track at home, there was sex in the champagne room after all (on the day I posted about there being none, oddly enough). And I have a low grade fever.

 

Trying not to freak the hell out right now. Because, I’m either sick or about to have another miscarriage. I’m hoping for sick.

 

It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s a Bad Blogger! July 4, 2012

Oh hey look, it’s that crap blogger who only seems to write when she wants to bitch or brag!

 

Well, that wasn’t very nice… True, maybe, but still!

 

OK, so I’m sorry for being such a bad friend. I am still having a hard time with my bloggity mojo (duh!). But, also, I do feel so much better about things when I’m writing on the regular. Ya’ll are like my pensieve. I guess that would make me a very unimportant Albus Dumbledore with Appalachian roots. (This is where those of you with family in the hollar say “I don’t reckon!” and then we laugh at the people who don’t hail from Kentucky because they don’t have any clue what we’re talking about!)

 

Gee whiz, where was I? Oh, yeah, non-bitchy updates 🙂 I think bullets are in order!

  • Right this very minute my G’s are at the mall with Aunt C. Which I’m cool with. My feelings are still very hurt over the way things went down. G says she was crying today and saying she misses me. It’s very confusing. I miss her. I miss that side of the family. We were friends. Good friends. But, I don’t know if this is a fixable rip or not. I’ve told G that she will have to make the first move. I simply cannot.
  • That wasn’t bitching.
  • Everyone is finally better! After our adeno exploits (literally, we were not all the way over the adeno, yet) poor Mr. G came down with Hand, Foot and Mouth (I am very mature, as you well know, and had much fun calling it the cock-suckie virus when talking to G and no children were around) THEN! before that was gone he got Chicken Pox, too! And, G and H INSISTED we keep the kids separated this time, too and guess what? Both babies got both illnesses. What a waste. I would have rather kept them together. But, Ladybug got the pox pretty badly for having been vaccinated. G only got 3 pox total (he’s also vaccinated). But, now, they are both better! And have been for like a week! Yay!
  • “You should totally write about vaccines and your opinions thereof” said No One, ever. But, I think I might anyway;)
  • Another post no one cares about, but I feel the need to write? I’m giving up… on trying to cure myself with food. Meaning? I’m back on the Weight Watchers band wagon. If you are also on WW, let’s totally hang out and eat imaginary chocolate while discussing Points Plus values.
  • Weight loss has become health priority one. Because? It’s one I actually have some amount of control over. I had leetle revelation about myself, health and weight recently. Still lacking the “something” to do much with it… but, am working on it.
  • My mom was a bit less than 10 years older than I am now when Big C was born. I am an old mama. I am gonna be a really old grandma (hopefully). This body has to last. I have to take better care of it.
  • I cut my own hair, and… it’s one of my all time favorite haircuts. For realz. It was like 3am and I couldn’t sleep, so I Youtube’d some “cut your own hair” video’s. Thinking? I’ll mess it up and HAVE to get it fixed, thus forcing me to get out and get my unruly ass locks under control. But? LOVE my self cut.
  • Seriously considering dying my hair cotton candy pink. Because? I can.
  • Lil G is almost 2!!! This Sesame Street party is going to be epic! I’ve decided to just invite people and if no one shows again (no kids, other than the C’s, showed for his 1st party) then we’ll still have fun. I’m letting go of the nonsense. I really I could invite ya’ll. I think the drive is just too long for Jack and Ginny and Gremlin, though 😦
  • If you disagree, or have always wanted to visit Ohio in August, by all means let me know. Because I’m serious about wishing there was a feasible way to let our bloggity babes get to know our bloggity friends’ bloggity babes.
  • I think I’m gonna take a nap.

 

 

The Health, It Sucks May 25, 2012

So, part of my appt with Dr Rheumy was getting my routine blood work done. The MGUS levels are all staying pretty normal, thankfully. No one’s too worried about that right now (yay!).

 

But, as you are all well aware I’ve been in a depressed funk for a while and OMG THE PAIN. So, she ran some tests to look for other issues.

 

And found one. FUCK!

 

You know vitamin D is important shit, right? I knew it prevented rickets, but otherwise wasn’t too sure what it was doing. Turns out it’s a hormone, and is involved in all kinds of body functions. If your vitamin D is low you can’t absorb calcium, or lose weight. And if it gets too low you’re at risk for organ (especially heart) failure. So that seems like a big deal. Turns out I am “severely” vitamin D deficient.

 

How severely? Well, “optimum” levels are 50-80. 30 is the lowest possible “normal” reading. Organ failure and rickets concerns start at 5. Mine is a 6.

 

Spent the morning in the sun with the small people. Have giant ass supplements to take (prescription strength vitamin D, what, what). Am probably going to die anyway. (being melodramatic…)